Monday, October 8, 2007

Overheard in Muscat, lately

I was going to blog about how the useless CV's that your average Omani diploma holder has are the real menace to the onward march of omanisation, but I'm too lazy. Maybe next week.

Thus, another addition to the ongoing overheard in muscat series.

On speakerphone, enquiring about the car we eventually bought:
My Man: So It's a 96?
Australian Lady selling car: Yeah, with 140,000 kms... we're the third owners I think.
My Man: And can you tell me why are you selling it?
Australian Lady selling car: My husband bought a Hummer last month.... (pause) I don't know why, there's nothing wrong with his penis.
My Man: Pffffft!!!!! laughing, spitting beer across the table.
Australian Lady selling car: Well, I'm just saying....

On returning Late from work, and finding a tired, bitchy wife at home:
My Man: On the way home I got some juice, some lettuce, and some onions.
Me: OK.
My Man: also, I picked up a fresh box of "nice wife"....
Me: Hope you picked up a box of "come the hell home on time", "skip rugby" and a box of "you wake up and feed the baby tonight"...because "nice wife" doesn't work very well without those.
My Man: damn... No wonder it was on sale.

Special feature this week; A joke, as told to me by Tariq.
So I was in the souk last week and there was this guy speaking swahilli.
I go over, and say man, Where you from?
Swahili guy says, PDO.
Ba Dum Ching!

Someone needs to cancel the security subscription to Mtv... Part II
Security guy: Hey Suburban! come see my new car... Taal...
Me: Nice! I bet it goes fast?
Security Guy: Yeah, it's big pimping.
Me: Sweet. Give my regards to your bitches.
Security Guy: Also to your bitches.

Cruel tricks to play on new arrivals, Part 1
New Guy: Want to go out for a Kapsch with me after Eid?
Me: Capsh?
New Guy: (winking) You know? Kapsh?
Me: A goat? Kapsh means goat.
New Guy: Really?
Me: Really. Who taught you that?
New Guy: The guys in IT.... No wonder they all keep laughing when I tell them I can't wait to get my hands on a little Kapsch when the bars open.
Me: No wonder.

5 comments:

Per Your Request said...

Really funny stuff.
Im a big fan of the MTV ones, and the Kabsh one.

Kay said...

Hahaha very funny! I could totally see that Australian hummer one coming being in Melbourne now, i've meet a lot of people that dont seem to filter their thoughts much.

Keep them coming.

Your husband should start blogging.

sythe said...

the last one was comedy gold!!! :)

Very funny!!! keep it up!!!

Suburban said...

Thanks guys. Some weeks are funnier than others.

Anonymous said...

hilarious!