Sunday, December 2, 2007

A three question survey.

Today's survey is brought to you courtesy of a conversation with a friend, and my neighbours.

I was on the phone with a girlfriend the other day and she said she doesn't know how to change a tyre.

My neighbourhood is a cacophony of bus horns from 06:00 until 07:00 and again all afternoon from 12:45 until 16:00. How hard is it to be ready when the bus picks up / drops off your children? Also, last night at 23:30 there was some sort of drunken brawl between two groups of my neighbours. I am sort of getting fed up with this neighbourhood.

Whiteout further adieu; Three burning questions. I've turned off word verification, and you all can respond anonymously if you wish.

1) Do you know how to change a tyre, Jump start a car, and check all the fluids for your car? Does your spouse?

2) Is it appropriate to instruct your child's' bus driver to sit outside your house and honk until the your child appears in the morning and until the maid appears to escort the kid inside in the afternoon? Would requesting a missed call not achieve the same result?

And for a bonus point,

3) Having politely broached the subject twice, is it now appropriate for me to lob projectiles onto the bus, family, maid and child until they get the message? What sort of projectiles would you recommend? Or should I perhaps stand outside their bedroom window with an air horn randomly honking them and waking them up twice in every 24 hours?

I am seriously asking.


Anonymous said...


You crack me up.

- Yes, both me and JP spouse know how to change a tire, jump a car, and check its fluids. Actually, my spouse knows better than me, but I'm pretty OK with it.

- Tooting. I hate it too. And the %*&% garbage guys emptying skips at 2am - I kid you not, 2 am - and the &*%&* poop truck pumping away at 11pm, and the ever increasing volume knob competition that seems to be going on between the 3 mosques equi-distant from my bedroom window at 5:30am...

- Tempted as you must be, projectiles will just get you arrested, and I suspect the wake up calls in prison will be a lot earlier and a lot worse. But... you could stand by with an air horn all ready, and then when they toot stand next to their cab window and blast away at point blank range while cursing violently.

I tend to self medicate and leave it to the neighbours to complain about my extremely loud snoring...

Blue Chi said...

Is this only for women? I am posting anyway! :P

- I don't know how to change a tire, jump a car, or a check its fluids. I am not married.

- I don't have any kids, but I understand what you mean, a missed call might sound sufficient for you, but the driver might not wish to pick on a single individual inside the house to come outside, but instead requests anybody wishing to come out from the house should come if they want to.

- I have no suggestions for what projectiles you should use.

Kay said...

1. No. I will probably never learn cause I'd rather not get my hands dirty. Besides there are people I call to do it for me. Yes, I'm a self confessed Muscat Princess ; ). No spouse.

2 and 3. Ear Plugs.

Sythe said...


ok, my thoughts on this:

1. I know how to do everything you mentioned, I'd be surprised if my wife didnt, she is better at that kind of stuff than I am.

2. How about no missed call, and no honking. How about the bus turning up at the same time every morning and knowing that your kid needs to be outside by that time? That method seems to work better in the UK, France and Canada.... All places where I have experience with school buses. The honking culture that goes on here drives me nuts, there is no need for it, except when an idiot doesnt look when they are turning and you almost hit them. Or they are too busy texting on their phones to realise the traffic lights have changed (and im not talking about the impatient idiots that will honk their horns just because the other lights have gone red - thats an entire other kettle of fish).

I live in an area where there are also 3 mosques. And there is the beach on one side... and there is a volume competition going on here as well. I've given serious thought to sabotaging those damn speakers because they HAVE gotten louder lately and its pissing me off too.

What the hell is it with the guys that drive around all day just hinking their horns looking for people with big items of rubbish to dispose of? Or delivery people? NOW THAT really gets on my nerves... waiting for our stove to be delivered, "Oh, it'll be delivered sometime in the morning, in-sha-allah". So you take the morning off work to get your stove delivered, and no one calls. So you call at noon and they're like, well, we honked... thats just lazy and absolutely ridiculous. You cant go more than 10 minutes at any time in the day in our neighbourhood without hearing someone honk their horn!!

3. Projectiles to be used should be limited to imaginary ones for the reason pointed out by jp, but, if all else fails, I'd go with eggs or rotten fruit!

great angry post! :)

Suburban said...

Thanks for the responses guys, and Lady. Thanks also to those who emailed (and will remain nameless) to tell me they don't know how to change a tire. Chickens...

The honking issue seems to have mostly resolved itself, in that the family has decided to be ready when the bus arrives each morning and each afternoon. I guess they are employig some sort of revolutinary new technology to assist them, like an alarm clock, or a wrist watch. Assholes.

Blu- thanks for the input, and for admitting you can't change a tyre. That takes Cajones, my man.

JP- Sythe, you guys must live on my street, we have the same mosque issue here. One of the reasons we choose our house was because of how beautifull the call to prayer from the nearby mosques is. There are three of them, and thier voices were just.... gorgeous, you could really feel God. They were also pretty quiet, or at least unobtrusive when we first moved here.

But something unfortunate must have befallen the guys at Mosque #1 and #2 because they have been replaced with a couple of dudes who sound like someone had hooked thier genitals up to a car battery.

Seriously, it's that bad. And the volume has gone up so high that our bedroom windows rattle and the baby alarm goes off. We live three blocks away!!! Worst of all they drown out the beautiful Athan from the one remaining guy who has a beautiful voice. Sigh...

Great rant Sythe, and JP, about the Tooting. It's such an astonishingly inconsiderate thing to do. Maybe the three of us are out of step with the rest of the country here...

Kay- woman, you MUST learn how to change your own tire. It's a safety issue, you don't want to be stranded by the roadside and beholden to some creep who shows up offering assistance. I will teach you, it's a peice of cake. We can wear gloves.


Sythe said...

Hey this isnt related to this story, but I dont know if you'll catch my comment on the older thread...

That chick that was gang raped with her ex/secret lover and got the lashes... the king let her off!


Suburban said...



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