Sunday, January 27, 2008

Overheard at Muscat Festival, and general blah blah

At the Jordanian spice shop, where an arabic speaking Jordanian is telling a English speaking British woman about his wares. A kind Omani teen is assisting with translation.

Jordanian guy: (in arabic) This is for pain in the stomach
Omani Guy: This is for stomach ache
Jordanian guy: (in arabic) This helps to lower your cholesterol
Omani Guy: This is for cholestorol
Jordanian guy: (in arabic) This is for Diabetics to control thier blood sugar
Omani Guy: This is for too much sugar in the blood
Jordanian guy: (in arabic, with hand gestures) This is for making a man's Organ bigger for a long time
Omani Guy: (blushing) Ummmm... hmmm... uhhh... This is for married people.

How cute is that? I almost died laughing.

On to other news.

Back when I used to work, about half of my job was PRO type stuff. This last week I have needed to have some involvement in sorting out government and immigration issues for a friend who has had an emergency, and looking around the offices I was once again struck by the fact that I was the only woman every place I went.

Why are there not very many female PRO's here? I used to charge a fortune for a day's work, because as a woman people (read: various officials) tend to trust me. Need that container cleared from the port ASAP? Need some honest but unusual paperwork notarized by an arabic court? Want to avoid paying 5% import duty on those spare parts? Need your DVD's back from the airport guys who took them? I could do it, and do it three times as fast as the PRO who actually worked for our company in the role of PRO.

So why aren't more women fulling that role here? My friend Tariq helpfully suggested that only a whore would want to run around all day dealing with men and having to walk in the sun so much. It's not respectable, he says. I figure making a month's pay in one day for doing a job I can complete with all my clothes on is a pretty sweet deal.

On the home front:

Stone has been working twelve to thirteen hour days for the last couple of weeks, in addition to weekends. I miss him. His boss had the nerve to call Stone cocky and lazy a couple of months ago... Cocky and Lazy are 100% accurate descriptions of Stone, but in a nice way. His boss didn't mean them in a nice way.

What I think his boss doesn't realise is that Stone is about three times as smart as the average guy, and has about fiften times the charisma of your standard issue corporate Boffin. Stone can be both Lazy and Cocky because he can be brilliant on demand, and could sell ice to an Eskimo.

I just want my husband back.

We got the new Nawras 3G internet,

It is so, so, so,so, fast. Sooooooooooooooooo Fast.

It's like being Amish, in a world where people only ride horses or walk and then all of a sudden your dad comes home with a ferarri f1 car. Or like being a snail and then suddenly transmographying into a fighter jet. It's that fast. When stone was downloading some Youtube I was all like "Stop! You'll hurt the computer!"

We also paid a small fortune for the internet box with wireless magic internet sparkles So I can internet from everywhere in the house! for all you know I typed this while sitting on the toilet.

Stone and I were discussing what we would do if someone gave us a million dollars tomorrow. I would spend it on cars. Specifically, I would buy one brand new GMC Yukon XL with all the bells and whistles, and I would buy four Old, Old, Old, Chevy Suburbans and pimp two out as his and hers drag mobiles. the other two would be for spare parts. I would also buy one Toyota Echo, because they are cute, cheap and fun. Then I would buy a big house somewhere remote and stock it with guns and food so I am ready when the end of the world comes cute animals and old used cars and Kitchy furniture, and lots of Beer.

I will Publish the Chedi Review this week, but I need Stone to be home from work while I am awake... because I need him to fact check the review of the things he ordered.


Amjad said...

(blushing) Ummmm... hmmm... uhhh... This is for married people.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!! OMG! This made my day!!!! :D

JP said...

Nice One Sub'!

Sometimes I wish you had a mini-video recorder taped to the side of your head, sort-of like the guys in Iraq. Then you could post these things on Youtube!

Looking forward to the review.


Navcity said...

Loved the 3 way translation exchange!! :-) For me that typifies the omani way...sheer hope that culture doesnt change. Heres hoping.

More Sub' more!!