Monday, March 24, 2008
Dad and mom, watching people scrambling to gather stuff from CCC shops as the Gonu flood waters rise around them.
Mom: Look at those poor men, trying to retrieve the last pieces of their shattered lives.
Dad: Sweetheart, those are looters.
So you felt right at home then?
Stone: How was the school trip to Germany?
Household Adolescent #2: Germany sucks.
Household Adolescent #2: It was full of Long haired people who don't care about anything and swear all the time.
I think you spell it D-U-M-B...
In the intercon pub, two girls from Essex, seek their Arabian Prince.
Wealthy Omani Bloke: So you're here on Holiday then?
Essex Girl 1: Yeah, we like the romance of the Orient. Buy us a drink then!
Wealthy Omani Bloke: Alright, what will you have?
Essex Girl 2: I'll have a glass of Dom Pérignon.
Wealthy Omani Bloke: (rolls eyes) Tell you what... If you can spell it, I'll buy it.
Essex Girls: um....
More from here later. Sorry again for the lack of recent posts.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Briefly, a couple of things I wanted to share with you guys. Cool stuff first, then the bitching.
Did I mention That Stone and I spent the weekend in Dubai recently with my cousin and her husband? Oh good. Did I mention how we got there and back? No?
We took thier jet. Thier private jet.
It was awesome, and we managed to avoid singing the Fergie Glamourous song more than twice on board. Since I know you all want to live vicariously through me, I'll share a few of the highlights.
- Your own check in desk at the airport.
- You can change your flight schedule. Want to spend another couple of hours shopping? Call the pilots and tell them you want to take off later.
- You can sit in the cockpit for takeoff and landing, and you can listen to the air traffic control.
- You get your own terminal at Dubai. We were through customs and immigration in less than five minutes.
- You can drink as much champaigne as you want, just wander back to the galley and help yourself.
- But the very, very, very, best part is this: In Seeb, you get your own bus to the plane. You know, like one of those giant busses with lots of floor space and poles for everybody to hang on to. What do you do given an entire airport bus to yourself? If you are my immensely talented cousin, you will perform an impromptu pole dance so elaborate and seemingly defying the laws of gravity that you will spend the rest of the trip denying that you were once a professional stripper. Stone has suggested we buy a airport bus for personal use. Heh, Heh, Heh...
In addition to being a really talented pole dancer, my cousin taught us a great game to play with fortune cookies. Read your fortune cookie aloud to the table, but at the end, add the words "in Bed". It's extra funny if it's a family dinner, because there is nothing like hearing your grandmother say "You should be able to make money and hold on to it... In Bed"
A few fortune cookie sayings that would be really funny this way spring quickly to mind:
- Your talents will be recognized and suitably rewarded.
- Little and often makes much.
- A thrilling time is in your immediate future
- Decide what you want and go for it
- The time is right to make new friends
Now, the bitching.
Can anyone explain why we have to close the main road every freaking time some head of state Visits the country? I bitched about this issue in the past too. Go read it, it's funny.
That last post about religous views was inspired by a coffee I had recently with a friend. I was really hoping to have a nice cup of coffee with a cool chick who is sort of the same as me and sort of different than me. I really like smart, funny people, and she is both.
The conversation turned ( She steered it) to how an individual practices thier faith. I tried so hard to defend my own personal actions, without insulting or demeaning hers, that I should win some sort of purple heart for bravery in the face of her Self Rightous, Holier than Thou, My Cloud will be Higher than Yours in the Afterlife, and why don't you dressmoreconservatively and coveryourhair attitude.
As if she, personally, will be guarding the gates to paradise on the big day. As if.
On the subject of religion, sort of... I am like the last person you will ever meet who would say that something generally under my own control is the will of god, but I am telling you now. It is the Will Of God that my air conditioning does not work.
FOUR CONSECUTIVE CARS have had non-working A/C or barely Working A/C. Now we have the Jeep, we bought it because the A/C blew so cold that the windscreen would ice up. We had the thing one week and the A/C gave out. We've replaced the A/C clutch twice, and now the computer has gone so even if the Compressor or Clutch worked, we couldn't turn it on. Bizarre.
And now the baby is awake, so I'm going to try and be a good mother for the next few hours. More as soon as I can get around to it.