In any airport, at any time of day or night, in any country around the globe, there is at least one guy who sets his inner cumpulsive liar free the moment he clears security. WHat is the deal with that?
Without further Adeu, may I present the top ten insane lies I've been told in airports by men.
- Do you know Area 51? I used to work there, and even the president doesn't know the full extent of what we've discovered. - Middle Aged Waiter , JFK Airport, New York City, 2001
- I'm one of the founding partners in Microsoft. - 22 Year Old Guy, JFK Airport, New York City, 2003
- These track marks are from the heroin I had to take to avoid blowing my cover when I was a secret operative in Afghanistan. - Junkie, Glasgow Airport, UK, 2002
- Even though I'm worth millions, I like to fly Ryanair to keep in touch with the little people. - Offshore Worker, Aberdeen Airport, UK, 2004
- I was named one of the top 20 bachelors in Dubai last year. Can I give you a ride to your hotel? - Overweight Married Guy, Dubai Airport, 2002
- I'm still trying to bury the memories of what happened to the babies I couldn't save from the ophanage fire - Supposed firefighter, Springfield Missouri Reigonal Airport, USA, 1996
- Nah, I'm not in the drugs business anymore, too dangerous. - dweeb who has never smoked a spliff in his life, Denver Airport, USA, 2006
- Have you ever seen the movie the professional? Yeah, well that's sort of what I do, you know... Kill people for money and all that. I'm just hiding out in India because things got too hot in New York - British Gap Year student, in a bad New York Accent, in Mumbai Airport, India, 2003
- I've invented a new software program that's going to make millions. I'll show you, but don't tell anyone, it's super secret. -Random guy who seems to not understand the idea behind "secret", Amsterdam Airport, Holland, 1999
- I am Saudi Arabian Royalty. They ... How you Say?? Umm.. You know? I am Next King? Oppoligise, I am only usually speak Arabic... - Mexican guy who does not speak arabic, Tucson Arizona airport, USA, 1997
Tomorrow, Why I am selling my teenage daughter.