I fired my handy man on Friday. I am happier than I was on my wedding day.
Anwar, the Handyman who is incapable of understanding the concept of time management, personal hygene, or the importance of fixing it right the first time. Anwar, the handyman with a pathological aversion to tape measures.
Never again will his stinky, sexist body darken my door four hours after it was supposed to. Never again, will I sit around for an entire day waiting for him to show up, only to have the wrong parts. Never again will it take him six trips to the hardware store and three weeks to replace a hot water heater because he was too lazy or stupid to measure the thing.
From now on, everything in my house will work, exactly the way it is supposed to, because the person doing the repairing will have a brain, and the motivation to do it right the first time. The new person will use measuring tape, and make neat, ordered lists to take to the hardware store and return with everything on the list. The new person will replace broken things, instead of repairing them so badly that they break again within a week. That person is me.
Goodbye Anwar, and don't come back.