Sunday, November 16, 2008

Crack houses are really under rated

because compared to my current neighbourhood, I would pay really good money to live in a crack house.

Honestly, I have lived in more civilised crack houses.

My neighbours:
  • regularly pick drunk fights in the middle of my street
  • have stolen ALL the logos from my husband's sports car
  • beat thier maids and think it's our fault
  • have stolen our turtles twice, and only returned 70% of them
  • cannot play soccer to save thier life
  • treat our street as thier own personal drag strip
  • own four fucking viscious dogs who bark all day and all night at totally random intervals
  • climb into our cars when we forget to lock them, and leave the headlights on.
  • Cat call and hassle my teenage daughter whenever she leaves the house
  • throw rocks at my teenage daughter
  • Park in my driveway, blocking my access to the garage and the door.
  • After parking all over my yard, clean all the accumulated trash out of thier cars and leave it strewn all over my front yard. THe dumpster/ tip is less than five meteres from the yard.
  • Can't play soccer to save thier lives.
  • and break into my house.


Today I came back from work, and the maid and adolescent said that they had been hanging laundry (within the walls of our yard) , and returned inside to load more laundry / check facebook. The house maid returned to a fewminutes later and discovered two omani teenagers in our kitchen. IN OUR KITCHEN!!!!

Totally random teenagers.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot! We dont' know these guys. She grabbed a broom, swung it at them, and they ran.

they could not have wound up there by accident, since they would have had to climb a six-foot boundry wall, walk past the front door, past the side door, and searched the backside of the house for the door that lead to the kitchen in an abviously private villa.

Before you ask... We've called the police, etc...

Anybody want to explain this one, and all the others?

More day after tomorrow.


Omanymous said...

you dont live in (mabela government houses) ma3baila sha3biya, do you?

sounds like a nightmare !

Bobby said...

You're going change right?

boxster said...

more than 50% of omani population is under 16, this statistic makes me think that it's only going to get worse.

i'd start with getting surveillance cameras installed. motion-detecting, infra-red night vision, wireless write to a local and off-site hard drives - the whole shebang.

get the faces of the kids and then prosecute the hell out of them, invite your journalist friends, make a big ass show so everyone knows not to mess.

didn't you mention you know some blackwater guys? have them reciprocate on the unscheduled house visits too.

undercover dragon could hook you up with mace for the daughter and the maid.

Angry In Oman said...

Jeez, poor you Suburban. That is fucked up.

Your maid kicks ass, though.

I wonder what they wanted from your kitchen...

And poor teenage daughter too, is she alright?

L_Oman said...

I think I mentioned this before when you made a post on the teen who stole your car (or something like that). Ghetto Ghubrah, baby. Livin' in the Ghetto. Think of it all as 'perks'.

Jet Driver said...

As was suggested, the Blackwater guys would be a nice touch.

Should they be too far away, I might be able to assist with the dispatch of problem one evening.

With your daughter being there, and the now all-too-real chance of her being assaulted, it is time to act.

Name and shame.


Amber said...

uh uh!!!! No way! Unbelievable...well, I believe you though. But STILL unbelievable.

And the throwing rocks at your daughter thing? I would totally pick up those same rocks and head over to their parents and give it to them with the warning that if it happens again the said rocks would be flung back. Totally not cool. You live in a crazy neighborhood. Move. Easier said than done I'm sure.

Undercover Dragon said...

That's so fcuked up. Throwing rocks at a girl?

Lock and load Suburban: Lock and load.

Send me an email. I'll try and send some of the hard boys round. If they can clear out the Yemeni idiots stealing 4x4 cars across the border, I'm sure a few useless mouth-breathing unemployed Omani teenagers will be easily reminded of how not to behave...


Anonymous said...

What did the police say/do when you notified them of this idiocy?

-Omani in US

Suburban said...

THanks for the comments guys. I was feeling super wigged out because Stone has been out of town on Business for two weeks, so we are effectively alone here until tomorrow. And that makes everything seem extra spooky.

So, I have sort of calmed down. They were just kids, it's not like they were thirty year old men with knives. None the less, I am pissed off.

WRT Blackwater, I'm getting the kids satellite trackers with panic buttons. For real. Anyone else want one?

Angry, My maid does kick ass. We love her.

L, It was my own daughter who stole, and wrecked my car. But all the other stuff is my weirdo neighbours. I only recently realised that AL Ghubra is actually Arabic for Ghetto Shithole.

Jet, Dude, you can totally move in. I would Name and shame, but we are not sure which two of the 1,000+ slightly inbred kids in my neighbourhod it was. THey all have the same bad teeth, same polyester soccer outfit, and same Vacant stare.

OIUS- we've had a number of conversations with various ROP on the phone, but they (rightly) say that there isn't anything they can do since we are not sure which kids it was. THey have promised to step up patrols in the neighbourhood, and have suggested that we gat an alarm for the house.

We are moving, as soon as Stone gets back from out of town. I can't take it anymore.

I just cannot fathom what the hell is wrong with these people. It's like the Ghubra Desalination plant is creating "asshole rain" which is seeping into the enighbourhood, and slowly transforming everyone into major assholes.

There is no other possible explanation for this phenomenon.

sythe said...

+1 to your maid. She clearly rocks hard!

Just get a simple camera with wireless signal and it can record a frame every second to a laptop or some other wireless device. They're easy to fit because no cables need to be pulled, just spur off of a light power line. We live in Ghubra too and our land lord installed one of these little cameras and its fine where we are...

Once you have a picture of them, and they will try it again - you know they will, prosecute the little fuckers. As for rock throwing at your daughter... well thats just stupidity, tell your daughter to whip her phone out (presuming she has one with a camera on it) and snap of some pics of her attackers.... if there's time....

Sucks hard Suburban... but dont give in to the few idiots, fight back!

boxster said...

Not sure that moving will help, unless you mean moving out of the country. It's a nation-wide demographic problem of testosterone-driven adolescents.

Do get surveillance cameras going ASAP.

Approach the situation with the assumption that the kids will come back.

DO NOT discount the potential harm they can cause on their age or looks.

Have your daughter learn some simple yet effective self-defense techniques. Poking the eye with a finger/key or punching/grabbing the adam's apple come to mind, on top of the ubiquitous knee to groin.

You will feel safe when you know that you have made the necessary arrangements to manage the situation.

Javed Islam said...

OMG these damn dune coons! JD is spot on: we should totally bring in good ole Blackwater to save us from our defenseless dilemma in this desert city. Jesus won't be able to save these uncivilized mongrels when they roast in hell with the rest of their mohammedan and arabian brethren!

Anonymous said...

Sorry you went through that Suburban, and hope u identify and kick their asses

Now for my neighbourly rant: Can someone tell my 3 expat neighbours in Madinat ilam to CLEAN UP after their frigging dogs poop on my front yard! I tried asking politely twice and no progress!

Suburban said...


My maid is the bomb. I think rather than living around these assholes, I will move back to my old neioghbourhood.


You are an idiot. Go crawl back under whatever Bible belt-midewstern rock you came out from. You are an embarassment to America.


Sorry about your neighbour's dog's pooping in your yard. That is totally inconsiderate.

Got a gun? If you know where the dogs live, I'm always up for some target practice.