Saturday, December 6, 2008

Laptop Review by someone who can barely work a calculator

I got a new laptop on Thursday. It will replace my beloved and sturdy five year old Acer. The purchase was a four hour saga of horror for which Stone should receive a purple heart.

As you may have gathered, I do not like technology very much.

My car is a great example of simple, usable technology. There is not a single feature on the car that is not directly related to the actual act of driving. Your desires may be different, but I don't want my car to be my office, rub my back, entertain my children, or suck Stone's dick. This is why I don't own a BMW.

My Phone is another good Example; it is a telephone. I use my telephone to call people, and have verbal conversations. I do not use my phone as a camera, a radio, a portable hard drive, video game console, or day planner. I have owned ten Nokia 3100's and they are fantastic. They are no longer available in the market though, so my New phone will be one of these, which come with a 3 year unconditional warranty.

A laptop should, in my mind, be a vehicle for checking emails, creating documents and building spreadsheets. My Laptop is not a TV, not a Multimedia communication device, and not for "low light video conferencing", whatever the hell that is a euphamisim for...

Here, for your reading pleasure is the totally non-technical breakdown on my new Laptop. First off, things I like;
  • It is an Acer, and thus somewhat indestructable.
  • It cost a pretty reasonable RO 380.
  • It is black with a keyboard a screen and a plug that connects it to the power strip.
  • It also has a magic leprachaun living inside it that allows it to connect to wireless networks.
  • It has a 350 gig hard drive, and 3GB of Ram, which means that I can now add drivers for the infinate number of printers and other shit I have to run when I am travelling on business.
  • It has a touch pad that is not as great as the one on my old laptop, but will suffice.

Things I don't like

  • It came loaded with the Insanely Annoying Windows Vista.
  • I had to pay another RO75 for a copy of the latest Microsoft Office Suite
  • It has a webcam. WTF am I going to do with that?
  • Internet Explorer seems to hang a lot. This is very annoying.
  • The touch pad is not as perfect as my old one, but good enough to spare me the hell that is using a mouse.

Touch pads are really really really important to me. I have literally lost weeks of my life to bad, slow, inaccurate, or fishy touchpads. A good touch pad is, for me, the critical deciding factor in the purchase of a laptop. No other detail is more critical, or will have such a profound effect on my long term relationship with my laptop. It's the reason I don't own a Mac, because thier touch pads are not perfect enough. Anyway, Important. Get the idea?

Thursday, with my paychecks burning a hole in my pocket, Stone and I went to EMax, where they have hundreds of different laptops on display. I had narrowed the feild down to three, one was RO 700, one was RO 800, and one was RO 1,100. Not cheap.

Seeking out one of the store asssitants, I asked if there was any way they could plug the three of them in so I could test the touch pads. Because I was about to buy a very expensive lap top right there and then. And they said.... No.

No, No, No. Not even for a teensy, weensie second could I actually try using any of the laptops, all of which exceed the value of every car I own. The salesman kindly suggested that I try one of the LG laptops instead, but Stone owns an LG, and I hate thier touch pads. Pleeease??? I begged. No. You can buy it and return it for store credit if it breaks, but not if you don't like it.

So we went to Carrefour where they would not let me test the computers either. The salesman was really, really, really knowlegeable and very sweet. The poor dude answered my questions for TWO freaking hours, and whispered in my ear how I could get a refund on the one I bought if the touch pad fails to live up to my expectations. The guy had the patience of a saint.

We bought a much cheaper laptop than the one I had envisaged when we set out. Stone is thrilled, but has sworn that he will never, ever, ever again go shopping with me.


Kishor Cariappa said...

It took a long-time for me to get adjusted to Vista initially though I am loving it now. BTW, Emax store assistants sport a ‘don’t care’ attitude which is very annoying. Unfortunately, all the stuff I’ve bought from them till now had a problem or two. So I have stopped shopping there altogether.

sythe said...

Death to Vista!

Acer's are hit and miss, some are great, some have the life span of a gold-fish that is over-fed....

Emax are a bunch of thieving bastards who deserve to be put in jail. That's just my view on them though!

Congrats on getting a new Laptop though... does this mean you will blog more?

Kay said...

Mabrook on the new lappy. I'm happy with my 3 yearold toshiba, when does start to break down. I'm upgrading to a Mac.

Download firefox or google chrome interent browser just dont use IE. its horrible.

muscati said...

You are the first person I have ever heard saying anything positive about Acer. Our experience with them in our household has been so negative that we haven't bought an Acer product since back in the 90's. When it comes to Windows laptops the choices are Toshiba and Lenovo (previously IBM). HP are a mixed bag, some good and some beyond bad.

Jet Driver said...

"or suck Stone's dick. This is why I don't own a BMW."

I will have to go and get me a BMW - had no idea they did that!



Anonymous said...

Pending getting hold of one of those BMWs, I like the look of that indestructible Sonim phone? Could you tell us who sells them?

Bobby said...

I love, adore, Vista!
You too can love with some modifications - which you get on net!

Acer - is not my brand I love Compaq and I have stopped using my touchpad - it freaks my fingers - they get so painful..I don't want my hands deformed. The config of ur laptop is cool!

does BMWs really suck dick? ;)

yuseff said...

haha im surprised BMW's can suck dick!

Your laptops sounds interesting, If you want to convert your vista to XP, I can be of help.
As for IE, just switch to Mozilla Firefox, it for the better good of this world