Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Reccomended Music for a Hot Muscat Summer

I am still too pissed off about the government, media and local reaction to the US State Department's report on Human Trafficking to write anything other than a expletive laced rant that would hurt a lot of feelings and be unlikely to provide a convincing argument.

Should I ever calm down enough to be Quasi-Articulate, Essa al Zedjali (Times Of Oman and Al Shabiba) has it coming from me. I simply cannot belive that a man so blind to the realities of the world around him is editor in chief of the two most widely read publications in Oman. His "Editorials" are an insult to anyone here with half a brain and an ounce of compassion. He is doing this country a great disservice by abusing his platform to spread lies, hateful rhetoric, and ill minded suggestions for the "betterment" of the country. Omanisation of Wadi Kabir anyone?

See? Angry. I am Angry.

OK. anyway, L_Oman has tagged me with a playlist tag where you list seven of the songs that are on the top of your playlist for Summer 08. I would ask my more religous readers who do not listen to music to navigate away now, because these tunes will get stuck in your head.

  • Creedence Clearwater Revival, Fortunate Son- CCR always makes me think of Summer, and Fortunate Son remains a relevant anti war anthem thirty five years after it's original inception.
  • CCR, Someday Never Comes- A great, heart-wrenching ballad. John Foggarty has such an awesome voice.
  • Outlandish, Guantanamo- Again, a great summer song.
  • Kid Rock, Cowboy- It's Vulgar, Mysogynistic, and Sexually Explicit. I love it.
  • Groove Armada, At the River- Perfect summer chill out tune for Oman, and the one I Arrived and walked in to at my wedding. Happy memories.
  • Steve Miller (?) The Joker-Fantastic driving song, and it's set in the perfect key for me to sing along to.
  • Aerosmith, Anything they ever wrote- I love Aerosmith. Steven Tyler is one Sexxxay old man. He is listed in the Celebrety Clause for my marriage.

There you go. I am a classic rock sort of person. Instead of passing the tag on, I'll tag everyone who needs a kick to update their blog, or just wants to do their bit to improve their reader's taste in Music.

Tomorrow, an indepth report on what it takes to get your freaking AC units cleaned. People who want to get really angry about me being racist and condecending towards poorer, browner workers should definately stop by for that one. I'll even upen up anonymous commenting so you can get your hate on!

Monday, June 23, 2008

Mafi Dubai?

Sometimes we go to the PDO club for drinks, and occasionally the conversations turns to what would hapen if Fundo-islamo-terrorists rowed up to the beach and attampted to "take" the club.

The concensus is that someone would offer the guys a corona, put some Bob Marley on the sound system, and the next thing you know you have a bunch of Rastafarian Taliban. Groovy.

So you can imagine my astonishment when I heard that One night last week, at three in the morning, 20 Iranian's rowed ashore to PDO Beach. No kidding!

It took the PDO Security guys more than an hour to round them up and deposit them in the hands of the ROP, who were apparently pretty uninterested in collecting them. Thier Smuggler had dropped them off near the big Island, pointed towards Qurum, and said Dubai was just around the corner. Poor things.

I heard something like this happened last year in Mattrah as well, but that was from an unconfirmed source. I heard this from someone who was there in person. Apparently the Security guards on duty got a gold star and 50 rials as thanks. Cute.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Human rights, slavery and drugs are hilarious.

In keeping with the current subject of choice for the Oman Blogging community, see the stuff below. The first image is from the fantastic Despair.com go over there and buy some of thier really clever stuff.



Now seriously, how timely is that?



Same idea, delivered with less panache.




Every bar in Muscat should have this hanging in the bathroom stalls.


Monday, June 16, 2008

Adult joke of the week

is an adult joke, so if you are under 18, or don't like dirty jokes, don't read it. You could instead engage in some thoughtful dialouge, or post something interesting on our much neglected Oman Community Blog

OK? You've been warned.



Stone heard this one at work today, and it cracks me up. It's much funnier in person, so go try it out on your Coworkers or Boss Friends or Wife. Preferably one with a great sense of humour.


Q: What has two thumbs and likes Blow Jobs?

A: (make two fists with your thumbs pointing up and backwards) THIS GUY!!!!!


See? Hilarious.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Links that I highly reccomend

Some reccomendations for what you should be reading, if you are not already.

Oman is on Tier three of the Human Rights Report for 2008 I blogged HERE about it, and others Blogged about it HERE and HERE We should be ashamed, instead we are indignant. fucking typical.

There is a New Blog in Muscat, written by an American guy who is waaaaaay smarter than me. I wish I had the brains to blog like him. Or her. Start with THIS POST then read the rest.

Go and Read MMK080's Qatari Lawyer college student Blog. I love him, but in a totally platonic way. Honest...

Someone else I love, also in a totally platonic way, (except if she came to my house wearing only chicken fried steak and buttermilk biscuits with country gravy because then I couldn't help myself) is L_Oman, the brilliant woman behind Shocked Culturally

Love your Hijab? Don't see the need to dress in black in the hottest country on earth? Sick of totally impractical glittery abayas? Expat living in a Muslim country who would like to dress in an appropriate manner? Orgnaic Muslima has a great new series on Fashion for the Muslima, and for the socially aware guest. It's fantastic.

For Glamour, Fashion, humour and local observations head over to Muscato (no relation to Muscati)

For Killing time and Browsing Archives, I recomend Kay the Melbourne based Omani Student. This girl thinks for herself, doesn't take crap from anybody, and I think if she lived here we would be friends.

I hope to add these, and a few more to my blogroll soon.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Tagged!

I Have Been tagged, with the Book tag that's going around. Thanks to Muscato and Amjad for giving me the kick I needed to update this week.

Here is how the tag works:

  • Pick up the nearest book.
  • Open to page 123.
  • Locate the fifth sentence.
  • Post the next three sentences on your blog and in so doing...
  • Tag five people, and acknowledge who tagged you.

You've got to be pretty anxious about your penis to contemplate hurting a cute little sun bear. And You've got to be really concerned about your penis to eat in the My Kanh Restaurant in Can Tho. Our Waiter greets us and proudly takes us on the obligatory premeal tour of the grounds.


That was from Chapter seven of A Cook's Tour, by the fabulous Anthony Bourdain. He's in Vietnam and Marveling at how in the far east, almost every substance known to man has been thouroughly investigated for it's "Wood Raising" properties. He is about to eat at a restaurant where you pick your main course out while it's still alive. The entire book is excellent, but the Vietnam chapters really shine. Anthony is a real Chef's Chef, and I cannot reccomend his books highly enough. He's Hilarious.

I think I have seen this book tag go round long enough. Therefore I am changing it. Here is the new tag

  • Go to your refrigerator, and describe the contents in the style of a movie tag line
  • Locate the least popular condiment in and tell us what it is
  • Name the most embarrasing thing in your fridge / freezer and justify it's presence there.
  • Tag five people, and acknowledge who tagged you.

Simple? Here is My Example:

  1. She has big ideas, but a small attention span. She likes Foigras, her family demands hot dogs. You'll laugh, you'll cry, You'll never look at Duck Confit the same way again!
  2. Zeytin Ezmesi Cesnili. That's Turkish black olive paste, to you. It's for my toast at breakfast. Everyone except me hates it.
  3. I have five cases of Chicken Fried Steak in the deep freeze. I love the stuff, I just can't help myself.

OK. I tag

Southern Girl L_Oman

Witty Horse ridin Mommy Hijab is Overrated

The gorgeous and brilliant Kay

New to the Scene Muscat Blogger Muscato

and my Favorite Qatari MMK080

Have fun!

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

How do you Smoke Salmon?

Bite the head and suck reeeeal hard...

Ba dum Ching!!!! I am so hilarious.

I am smoking Salmon this afternoon. I am using a salt and sugar cure with secret spices. The smoking process is going to anoy the hell out of my neighbours. Ha, Ha, Ha....

I am also in the process of trying to quit smoking cigarettes. It is hard, and I am really, really, really cranky.

Sorry for not responding to comments, I suck.