There are so many more of you around these days than in the past, and I feel it's timely for us to have a discussion regarding your behavior, if only to ensure that we are all on the same page. Because, Why have you guys been so weird lately?
Seriously, I have had like a month of non-stop WWW encounters (Weird White Wanker) and I'm kind of beginning to wonder if, like, we have collectively forgotten that we are effectively guests here. I know, I know, you are here helping the country with your important White People Skills, Saving the native savages from themselves, etc... but really, we need to talk.
- First off, many of you White People have taken to driving like locals. Just because you will likely never receive a ticket for driving like a total twat does not mean that it's OK to whip through my quiet neighborhood at warp speed. Furthermore, when you drive like total Assclowns, your license to stand around at cocktail parties and bitch about the appalling driving standards of the locals is terminated. Seriously, your bad driving is negating my ability to feel superior, and yours as well.
- Ladies: While a miniskirt and tank top are possibly appropriate for Rock Bottom, or lunch at the marina pool, they are not appropriate for the grocery store, the souq, or the mall. It's not because it might offend people, but because it reflects badly on you and other people like you. If you cannot even grasp this most basic courtesy that comes hand in hand with living in the GCC, I shudder to think what other basic issues regarding life here you have failed to grasp.
- I'm not even going to mention the topless sunbathing, but girls, you really should know better.
- White Men: bringing prostitutes to a business dinner is not classy, it's weird. We all know they are prostitutes. I wholeheartedly encourage you have sex any way you can, but a business dinner? Get some class.
- White people: Be nice to the waiters, seriously. It is not the end of the world if your special order was not fully understood by the waiter, and as a result, your food is not exactly perfect. I know it's frustration, but for the fucking love of god, show some compassion, and demonstrate your "civilized" heritage by acting like a civilized adult. And work on your communication skills while you are at it.
- Stop acting like you are doing the country a huge favor just by gracing it with your presence. You are not. You are here doing a job, which I hope you are doing well, and for which you are being paid. You are not doing the country some enormous favor.
- Which is not to say, don't complain. Please do complain about the stuff that is screwed up here. The list is long, and everybody, locals and expats alike is entitled to an opinion.
- White people: You are not entitled to expect that every single person serving you speaks English. International hotels and major businesses excepted, this is an Arabic country, so learn some fucking Arabic or get really good at charades. And suck it up.
Enough ranting. For the record, I know that everything I wrote here applies to me as well.