Thursday, March 2, 2017

Overheard in my house.

A while back, one of my neighbours posted something inviting people to list four words every woman wants to hear.

It looked something like this:

Isn't love beautiful?
What Four words would your wife love to hear you say?
Share and post below!

The responses were not particularly romantic, but they were hilarious.

  • The toilet seats' down
  • I brought you food!
  • I'd rather stay in.
  • It won't suck itself...
  • You don't look fat!
  • Brown is your color!
The "It Won't Suck Itself" line SLAYED us. You guys, we died laughing.  Stone has adopted the phrase, and likes to use it every time I give him the nookie lookie, seek out some morning wood, or request a Nooner. It never ceases to be hilarious. 

Last week, I decided to return to horseback riding. I found a great stable, had a couple rides, and asked about the prices for a package deal, where I can ride as much as I want, and have a particular horse that I can sort of call my own. Costs in hand, I went to Stone and suggested that he finance my daily riding adventures. Here's a quick transcript of the conversation. 

ME: Baby! Great News..... Saif has a horse that is the perfect fit for me! 
Stone: That's great news! 
Me: Yeah, I'm so excited! I can lease him so I can ride him every day, and have lessons on the school horses as well! I'm So happy! 
Stone: How much is this happiness going to cost me? 
Me: $XYZ
Stone: You are fucking kidding me.... 
Me: Don't you want me to be happy? 
Stone: Yes, but not that happy. 
Me: Happy wife, Happy Life? 
Stone: My life is already happy.  
Me: Well, It Won't Suck Itself, Baby. 
Stone: Touche'
I am really enjoying my new horse. 

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