Other Oman

Stuff White people like, Detroit Edition

2012-01-03T20:11:00.000+04:00

Over at Detroit is the new Hamptons, I'm blogging about the apparent lack of integration at a local New Year's Eve, "Fun Run"

http://dertoitisthenewhamptons.blogspot.com/2012/01/non-representative-demographic-sampling.html

Hope you all are well? We are doing great over here.

I am an AWESOME handyman

2011-07-20T08:00:00.000+04:00

Really. Today I installed a window mounted AC unit in a way that would make even the most incompetent handyman in Oman proud.

You can read about it here http://dertoitisthenewhamptons.blogspot.com/2011/07/how-to-install-window-mounted-ac-unit.html

In other news, we have been spending a lot of time watching these guys work. They put on an extra special show when we are there, and wave at the kid. We have not yet scored a ride on the equipment, but I can sense it's coming.

She is so tiny, and those things are so big.

Detroit Lemonade Stand

2011-07-04T18:10:00.000+04:00

Yesterday, the kid organised a Lemonade Stand out front of our building in Downtown Detroit. It was Fantastic.

I honestly think one of the best ways to feel good about the world is to have a lemonade stand. I never saw a lemonade stand in Oman, maybe we should give it a try! What if all the kids in Muscat had a lemonade stand, once a year? Would it be good for the community, for the neighbourhood? If an of you guys do it, let me know how it goes?

You can read the whole write up on our Detroit Lemonade Stand Here, if you are interested.

http://dertoitisthenewhamptons.blogspot.com/2011/07/lemonade-stand.html

dumpster diving, sport of kings.

2011-06-25T06:24:00.000+04:00

You guys NEED to see what I scored out of the dumpsters in our apartment building this morning.

http://dertoitisthenewhamptons.blogspot.com/2011/06/dumpster-diving-is-new-shopping.html

The full report is over on my other Blog, http://detroitisthenewhamptons.blogspot.com We are having a blast here.

Moving On!

2011-06-11T19:32:00.000+04:00

Guys, I would like to introduce you to my New Blog, Detroit is the New Hamptons.

It's a blog about our summer home in Detroit, and our adventures getting there. You'll be able to see a lot more of Stone and Pebbles, as well as experience a virtual road trip with two idiots, a four year old, and one 1973 VW camper Bus.

We departed Houston today, waving goodbye to the cats, the house sitter, and a small collection of neighbors, who stood, bewildered, in their front yards as we steered our overloaded bus onto the main roa . First stop, Texarkana, Arkansas.

Please come over to the other blog and say hi, of ask questions, or give us advice on things we should see between here and there!

http://dertoitisthenewhamptons.blogspot.com/

Dead little girls

2011-05-31T08:23:00.000+04:00

My daughter just learned to swim, properly, three weeks ago. One day she was sort of drowning slowly, the next she was shooting across the pool at Mach II and hurling herself off the high diving board like a teeny tiny parachuteless skydiver. I am terrified by this. I hover by the pool, unable to take my eyes off her for even a second, certain that at any moment she will drift from my sight and sink to the bottom of the pool, graceful, peaceful, placid, brain-dead and glassy eyed. I hate the pool.

A little over a year ago, I watched a little girl named Dana die. She drowned in the pool at Marina Bandar Rawdah, right in front of me, and I was too stupid to recognize that she was drowning. For real. this little, lithe, eight year old girl, drowned, right there in the pool surrounded by me, other swimmers, and adults, who never realised she was in distress or drowning. Dana never woke up. Dana never turned nine. Dana will never graduate from high school, never learn to drive, never travel the world, never have a career, never fall in love, and never know the joy of becoming a mother, watching her children play in the park, or growing old. She is totally, truly, and forever dead.

So, if you read nothing else this week, or nothing else on this blog ever again, that's fine, but please follow this link to Mario Vittone's article on how to recognize the signs of drowning http://mariovittone.com/2010/05/154/ I can assure you that drowning looks nothing like you or I would imagine. Please, it's very important, for your kids, and for the kids around you.

What happened after Dana died? Well, there was a lengthy, nasty lawsuit. But a better question to ask is what happened before Dana died? It's a long answer, which I'll go into at a later date, but in summary;

Parents knowingly placed Dana, who could not swim, in a pool, and walked away, assuming a non existent life guard would look after her.
Dana played, and then drowned, for 15-20 minutes, in a pool full of people, none of whom recognized she was drowning
Dana was discovered at the bottom of the pool, Chaos ensued. and bystanders began CPR
It took 20-30- minutes for an ambulance to arrive.
Dana was transported to Khoula hospital, where she later died.

There were a number of failures on that day, but the only ones which you and I have control over as bystanders, parents and citizens, is that we can watch our children, and we can learn to recognize the signs of drowning.

I'm blogging tis today, because according to a quick search of the Times of Oman, at least four kids have drowned just recently here in the sultanate, one of whom was in a supervised, but overcrowded school pool attending "Swimming Lessons". This really has to stop.

More from here soon, and the full story on what happened after the drowning.

We're a little Envelope

2011-01-05T21:33:00.002+04:00

Now that we live in America, I can avail myself of the fantastic service known as Google Voice. It's sort of like skype, except it's built into your mobile phone. No Computer or internet connection needed!

Here's the best part: It even comes with a handy dandy voice mail service! That's right! I'm using Voice mail! I can listen to the voice-mails from my phone, or read the interesting transcriptions which Google thoughtfully sends me via SMS.

Following is the most recent gem of a transcription from this morning.

Hey baby just calling to say hi. It's about 5 past ten and That's about that really exists. Outside electric cigarette and it'll be less you love you Hope everything's good We're a little envelope bye

I have no idea what Stone was trying to communicate here, but You know what? We ARE a little Envelope!

In other news:

We have closed on our new house, and the sea freight arrives tomorrow!
To celebrate the occasion, pebbles has come down with the Flu.
I have, in three months in Texas, managed to make ONE friend. It's a start, right?

More soon.

Americana

2010-12-15T21:13:00.000+04:00

First Up; Confidential to Western Expatriate Bloggers and Blog Commenters: You cannot possibly be helping the country if you are unable to see past Local / Expat divides. Complaining and criticism is good, outright racist degradation and shallow-ass insults? Bad. If you are truly so bitter and angry about Oman that you can only see it as "US vs THEM", or so deluded to think that you are irreplaceable, maybe it's time for you to move on somewhere else, for your happiness, sanity and for everybody else's sake. I did, and I'm glad because I managed to leave with my sanity and passion for Oman (Mostly) intact.

We are surviving, here in America. Slowly but surely, I am making friends, getting to know the neighbors, and reacquainting myself with my home country. We have a local bar where some of the regulars know our names, we are friendly with a handful of neighbors, and every once in a while my phone rings and it's someone other the Stone or my Mom on the line.

The most surprising thing to me about our new life here is how very foreign I feel in a country which I had always assumed was home. I was not aware of the extent to which I had assimilated into the Omani culture. I can't get used to people wearing shorts, or men jogging shirtless down my street. I am a physically affectionate person, but I'm struggling to be comfortable with virtual strangers hugging me. The freedom of speech is wonderful, but shocking, reading the opinion pieces in the newspaper, or listening to these really offensive morning DJ's makes me gasp aloud. Like I can't belive you can just say / write that sort of stuff for public consumption. The food is not spicy enough, the people talk really loudly, and I cant' seem to keep up with the somewhat frenetic pace of life. Americans are really really busy people.

Most telling, however, is my adjusted attitude towards Voice-mail. Voice mail is where you call a person, and if they don't answer, you leave a verbal message on a machine that plays it back for them at a later time. As you may know, Voice-mail is practically unheard of in Oman. If you want to actually talk to somebody in a business or personal setting, you give them a missed call, or if it's really urgent, send a SMS. In almost a decade there, I think I left One voicemail for somebody.

Arriving here in Houston, the "Missed Call Culture" is noticeably absent. everyone has voice mail, answering machines, they expect you to leave a message, and to be able to do the same for you. People take it really personally if they cannot leave a message for you. Seriously, my landlord threatened to stop calling me if I didn't set up voicemail on my mobile phone, and I was all " Wha? But I see your missed call, I'll just call you back? No?"

I have another post in the works about the many many many similarities between Texas the the GCC, but I'll have to save that for another day. Crazy driving, racism, tribalism, and unjustifiable levels of state/national pride, jump immediately to mind

Hope you all are well? Below, a few recent photos of what we have been up to lately.

We have to pay extra to get Omani Style Dew

We are making Ass-Loads of homemade Ravioli

There is a giant tank of Piranhas at the Zoo with a tunnel through it.

I am being menaced by vicious Raccoons and Possums.

The United States Postal Service

2010-10-01T23:43:00.000+04:00

People of Oman, prepare to be awed by an amazing US government service: Home Delivery Mail.

This is EXACTLY what home delivery mail service looks like. Really.

Today I received my phone bill, and car insurance card, and I sent my landlord a rent check, using the United States Postal Service. I did not need to trek down to a PO box, or drive out to Hamriya and spend an hour plus 17 rials at DHL, and no one needed a copy of my Iqamma, or my phone number to complete this miraculous transaction.

I Know!!!! You are all like WHAT!?!?! Blasphmey!!! IMPOSSIBLE!!! but wait for it, that's not even the best part. here is the best part: The mail was delivered and picked up by a really nice man who comes to my house every single day, just to collect my mail, and drop off any mail that anyone has sent me. Seriously. And he knows my name, and the kid's name, and he waves whenever he drives past the house!

You all must be awed at this stage, and wondering how on earth Stone can afford such extravagance, or if perhaps Stone has been appointed a minister, or what sort of insufferable Bureaucracy I had to navigate to arrange for such a wonderful service? But, and this is amazing too, everyone in america gets home delivery mail service. It's included in the price of the stamps, or something. Or maybe it's taxpayer funded? Whatever, I digress. It is an awesome service.

OK, this is really the best part: To arrange to get the mail addressed to me delivered, all I had to do was walk up to the mailman, and ask. I told him my name, and Stone's, and he said he would make sure that any mail addressed to us would get left at the house. Our landlord's mail will still be forwarded to their other house.

Awesome, No?

The Blues

2010-09-22T08:52:00.000+04:00

This is a Loooong post.

I Have spent the last 2.5 weeks flying solo with a toddler in a town where I know NOBODY, while Stone has been busting his ass running a course for his company in Canada.

Tonight I received the following text message from Stone:

Hmmm... Crab For Dinner. Yum Yum!!

Tom and I shared 3 LB. of King and 1 LB of Snow Crab.

OMG, Wish you were here. XXX

I had spent the day in rental car return hell, picking up the truck I bought (2003 F150, with 127K miles on the clock), dodging giant insects, and hanging out with an annoying, complaining toddler. We ate leftover Chinese for dinner.

Let me start this with a few photos of positive stuff. Most were taken in my home town. We went up there for five days last week, and spent the entire time riding horses, chatting with my best friend, and hanging out with the family.

This is Suzie, a 27 year old Arab mare. And the kid, and Me.

I rode these same horses at this same grocery store growing up

This is Davie's Chuckwagon. Best Breakfast in the world

This is steak and eggs with hash browns, and your choice of toast or 3 pancakes

this is the kid and a chicken

This is one of the many bugs in Houston. Looks like a scorpion, but it's not.

The Buffalo Rose Saloon in Golden, Co. They are famous for welcoming Al Jazeera to cover the US Elections live from the bar. They are also famous for being an awesome music venue and local hangout for the last million years or so.

Inside they have a toy crane. This one is different, beacuse you catch a live lobster, and then the kitchen cooks it for you. $2.00 a try. AWESOME.

The euphoria has worn off, and boys and girls, your correspondent has the Blues. This move has been THE SUCK. Honestly. Stone's company has gone out of their way to make things as difficult as humanly possible every single step of the way. My outlook is hindered further by the fact that THREE DAYS after we arrived in Houston, Stone departed for a SIX WEEK business trip to Canada.

Seriously, Shell if you are listening, and "MISH" our totally fucking useless "Shell transfer advisor" in the Philippines You guys have been totally inflexible cunts. I feel like you, Shell, Hate us, and want us to be miserable, despite the fact that we have, effectively, bent over backwards to accommodate your endless, pointless, and totally fucking stupid rules and regulations.

Here is our Entire Move in bullet point form:

Stone accepts a transfer to Houston, they need him immediately.
We are told we (the Family) cannot move immediately, because we are not allowed to move until Stone has a US work Visa.
Shell's Internal systems lead to endless delays in getting the lawyers working on his US Work Visa
Stone uses his existing US visa to work 5 weeks in Houston, and will return to Oman for 3 days to do the final US Visa paperwork and check us out of the country.
Meanwhile I pack the house, sell the cars, close down business, re-home our OCD suffering Maid, throw a yard sale, and loose my mind.
We ask if we can postpone our repatriation leave until December, offering to cover any differences in cost. Our request is declined, unless we want to forfeit the tickets and the leave time entirely.
Stone returns to Oman for 3 days, and receives his US work Visa from the US embassy.
We immediately send a copy of the visa to the Shell Transfer desk to facilitate the booking of the tickets that will take us from Stone's home country to the US.
We spend a week in Australia before heading to Stone's Home country, and nothing happens. Reminder emails are sent.
Our Omani bank accounts and credit cards are abruptly frozen.
We attempt to depart from Australia, but cannot, as the kid and I are not Citizens of Stone's country, and as such are not allowed to board the plane without an outbound ticket. Shell has not yet booked our outbound tickets.
Stone spends an hour and a half purchasing myself and the kid a return ticket to Australia.
we arrive in Stone's Home country, and spend 3 weeks freezing our asses off with my mother in law, who hates me.
Many reminder emails are sent, and stone places a shouty call to "MISH" our transfer advisor. we are 4 days from when we need to leave his country, and still, nothing has happened on the tickets.
We would gladly log onto Expedia, and book the tickets ourselves, claiming reimbursement later, but we are not allowed to.
Finally, we receive an email telling us to email Shell @ Travel agency . com and sort it ourselves. HOW FUCKING HARD WAS THAT???? Mish? You could have told us that three weeks ago!
Stone spends 4 hours securing refunds for our tickets back to Australia.
We fly to america, on a shit flight schedule, (19 hours of flights and 10 hours of layovers with a sleep-deprived, jet-lagged toddler) due to the fact that the tickets were booked so late.
We spend 3 days in Houston, doing laundry, finding food, and marveling at the urban wildlife.
Stone leaves for a 6 week trip to Canada.
I need to buy a car, get the kid in school, sort out the lease on the temporary place we are renting, and do about a billion other things,
Because we arrived a week after the school year started, I can't get the kid into pre-school.
Because I am not from Taxas, I don't know ANYONE, except my landlord (who is wonderful)
Shell denies us a $4,000 allowance toward's our first month's expenses, because our accomodation is not "temporary" enough.
I spend a week and a half tilting at windmills.
The kid gets Really, really really sick. I have no idea about health insurance, doctors, or where the nearest emergency room is. I am totally, and completely alone.
I freak out and call my mom in a wave of tears and snot.

Ultimately, I took the kid to a Doc in a Box, and then 4 days later left to spend a week with m y brother and friends in my home town in the rocky mountains. We got back to Houston last night, and things seem better, if not still painfully lonely.

Just a little over three weeks to Go, then Stone comes home.

Houston, 24 hours in

2010-09-03T08:05:00.000+04:00

Were finally here, via a 3 week stopover somewhere really cold. Things are really good so far.

Thanks to everybody who made the last months in Oman so special, and who repeatedly went out of your way to help out, keep me drunk, host and attend yard sales (and give a good home to my favorite shirt! you know who you are...) , pack, baby sit, and listen to my endless complaining. We should all be so lucky as to have friends like you.

We've been in Houston about 23 hours now, and I thought I would jot down some early impressions / experiences before I forget them in a Fog of Jet lag Induced Stupidity.

People: Everybody, Republican, Democrat, Rich, Poor, Old, Young, is really nice here.

The Accommodation: We are staying in the cutest little 2 bedroom bungalow in West University. Our totally awesome landlord kitted out the kid's room like a princess wonderland complete with stuffed animals, toys and a little magnetic calendar with kid-centric activities. She also left a gorgeous bouquet of flowers on the kitchen table, arranged a horse for me to exercise / borrow anytime, and stocked the fridge with beer. I LOVE our Landlord.

Insects: So far there are a lot of freaky-ass Jumping spiders, Spiders that fall out of trees and down the front of your shirt, super loud Cicadas and Extremely Aggressive Fire Ants. I got to know the fire ants this afternoon at the local playground, and I can report that they are clearly angry about something. Ouch. Which leads me to......

The "Frogs": I shall relay verbatim to you the conversation I just had with Stone on our back patio.

Stone: Hey! I think those things in the leaves over there are frogs!!!
Me: Seriously??? Frogs????? They have frogs here? ????
Stone: Yeah, listen to all the noise they are making jumping around in the leaves.

Me: OMG, that is so awesome. Quick, Catch some of them! I'll go get a thingie to put them in!!

I go into the kitchen and meticulously prepare a terrarium to house our new frog collection

Me: OK! I'm all set! How many have you caught?

Stone: None yet....

Me: Come on!!! I want some frogs!!!!! The kid will think they are awesome!

Stone: Um... Actually, I think they are not frogs... they appear to be giant roaches.

At this point, a roach as big as a loaf of bread with legs scurries across the deck

Stone: You look like I just told you your grandmother died....

Me: That is the fastest I have ever gone from totally stoked to totally bummed.... Ever. Go get the bug spray, please?

In addition, we did some serious banking stuff today, which was, for the record, a total pleasure. Major, Major Banking shit and we were in and out in under an hour. I'm going to upload a video of the drive through banking, because, People Of Oman, It will blow your mind.

We also went to the most awesome grocery store in the whole world today. It deserves a post all its own, and maybe a video. It was Vegetable Heaven and Skanky Cheese Heaven and free sample heaven, and all the staff are super helpful and super friendly and the kid gets a free balloon and coloring book on arrival. Seriously.

I made my first new friend today at the playground. Her name is Cindy (How American!!!) she's got a kid the same age as mine, she appears totally sane and normal, she is funny, and she voted for Barack Obama and watches the Daily Show. So there is indeed hope of finding a few like minded people to hang out with, even in Texas!

My Name is Bob, I am a Texas Frog.

Frog Update: There are indeed frogs here!!! We just caught one, and we are going to name him Bob. HOLY SHIT!!! FROGS!!! We'll keep him until tomorrow, so the kid can check him out, and then let him go in the back yard, where he will hopefully eat lots of extremely large roaches.

And, That's It.

2010-08-11T16:35:00.000+04:00

Today was our last day in Oman. It's been a hell of a ride.

My Freinds on twitter and in real life all deserve a huge thank you for putting up with my Non-Stop Bitching over the last month. You would Honestly think I am the only person on earth who ever moved country. THe move has been complicated somewhat by Stone being gone for the last 40 days. You heard me right, Stone was in Houston, working, while I was here doing the move, selling the cars, and Re-Homing the maid (It was Absolute Hell, thanks for asking). Anyway, all the cars are sold, the house is packed, the phones disconnected, and we are living it large at the Chedi, until midnight, when we go to Seeb Airport for the last time.

I've been here for most of my adult life, and Stone has been here off and on since the early 90's, we met here, fell in love here, I became a mother here. I have been absolutely awed and humbled by the generosity and kindness shown to me by so many wonderful people here, both online and off. I am honored to have an extended Omani family, who love me even though I am a total freak by their standards, and treat me like one of their own.

I have amassed a collection of experiences so wild and wide ranging, that I myself can hardly believe some of them. I have driven race and rally cars, Spent the night in a police station, cooked for royalty,and testified in an Omani court. I have shared fleabag hotel rooms near the Saudi border with 10 sweaty Arab mechanics, and partied like a rock star in palaces belonging to guys you see in the papers all the time.

I have watched 2 people die, one of them a child, both due to carelessness. I worked on a Yacht full of crazy people. I have walked in on a well known Arab Motorsport Journalist in a hot tub with 2 Moroccan hookers, and been astonished mostly by the tremendous amount of body hair the guy had. A former boss once tried sell me into an arranged marriage with some Saudi dude, and I will never be completely certain if he was joking or not.

I've learned to pray, grown closer to god, and drifted away again. These days I try not to let organised religion get in the way of my relationship with god. I'll do my best, and I'm happy to be judged on how I live, breathe, and think, and not how pious I pretend to be.

One thing that has not happened, is acquiring a perfect understanding of how this place works. Just when I think I am getting close to really truly and fully understanding everything, something else throws me for a loop, and I'm left with one foot on either side of the world, not really understanding here, and too far gone from there to fully understand home.

I have been far too busy to really process what it means to be leaving, and when people ask me what I'm feeling about leaving this place, I make up something about how sad it is to go, but how much I"m looking forward to a change. But in reality, I feel absolutely nothing. It's been so busy, and I've been under so much pressure that It just hasn't sunk in yet that we are going, and unlikely to return. I expect I will be something of a basket case once we arrive in Stone's home country for some R&R later this week, and I can have a good cry and just let it rip.

The blog will continue, for the short term at any rate. There are a number of stories worth telling, the local media remains extraordinarily amusing, and Oman, I think will forever fascinate me.

I leave you guys with three images I snapped today that sort of illustrate how weird, happy, luxurious, sad, bizarre and all around mystifying Oman is. I hope you all have as many wonderful, mystifying, frightening, happy, sad, and baffling experiences as I have had here.

The Endorsement: Writer Relocations

2010-08-03T15:56:00.000+04:00

First Up, a reminder about my AWESOME INDOOR YARD SALE on Friday Morning, from 9-12, at my house in Qurm.

Please come and buy some stuff at a great bargain, or bring some of your own stuff to sell if you want. If you have been reading the blog for a while, and just want to drop by and say hello, feel free to do that. Likewise, if you already know me in real life, come and say hi. The more the merrier, and I'd love to meet as many of you as I can.

I will post directions to the house on the blog Thursday night / Friday morning, so check back then.

On to the Endorsement: I MUST let you all know how totally impressed I am with Writer Relocations. Really, they are setting a new standard for moving companies here in Oman.

They have packed, perfectly, about a zillion tons of crap and loaded it into a 40 foot container, in under 2 days. 5 years ago, when we moved from Qurm to Ghubra, another relocation company moved us. It took 7 DAYS, and I nearly killed the uncommunicative and surly guys who were doing the packing.

Write's account managers are great, infinitely flexible, and do amazing stuff like calling to tell you they are running late, BEFORE they are actually late. The packers all wear uniforms, have been professionally trained in how to pack and label, and smell pretty good for sweaty guys.

My Crew of 6 Cheerful guys from Kerala have been the absolute epitome of good cheer and humor, singing and laughing the whole time they were packing. Writer was kind enough to offer to pack my house maid's things up, gratis, which has been no easy task given her increasing OCD tenancies and her increasing distress at the prospect of being sent home.

Later, an essay on how annoying it is when people show up while your house is being packed and ask to see all your stuff because they might want to buy it, and then proceed to trample on and ignore your objections that you are too busy, and could they please come back on Friday. That is Soooooo Annoying.

In case you are interested, here are a few photos from the Move.

Shoes

2010-07-31T10:01:00.000+04:00

This is an extremely vapid and boring post, but I'm busy, so cut a girl some slack, All right?

Are these shoes awesome, or are they awesome? You can buy them here http://www.etsy.com/listing/51953365/blue-bells

Thank you Faisal

2010-07-27T07:58:00.000+04:00

Children here in Oman are often adorned with gold, both for it's beauty and Evil Eye avoidance properties. We were literally showered with gold when the Princess was born, and I can't wait until she is old enough to really appreciate it.

Faisal, our daughter's God Father is forever spoiling her with little trinkets. Faisal popped by the other night with a lovely farewell for now gift for the baby, and I want to show it to you guys because it's so pretty.

She Loves It. I Love the idea that kids deserve beautiful things too, and should be adorned and decorated like the truly precious things they are. Thank You Faisal!

My Kid is so Helpful

2010-07-20T15:36:00.003+04:00

What is this? The new printer has stopped working.

FTF? I just bought the thing. This is So Unfair.

What is that colorful stuff inside the printer?

Oh, Marbles and fluffy puff balls, of course.

Hey Kid, did you put these things inside the printer? "yes mommy! also toothpicks!"

And look at my ridiculous Man-Hands. Have you ever seen such ugly hands?

On Facebook

2010-07-08T09:20:00.000+04:00

As you may or may not be aware, the ROP have abruptly decided to start enforcing the old law about Expats not being allowed to own pickup trucks. Indeed, yesterday I was told that I cannot even RENEW the registration on either of mine. Seriously, I am no longer allowed to own my own Stuff, because of my race. I have an idea, lat's take all the farms that are managed or owned by Expats and nationalize those too! It worked great in Zimbabwe!

I'm not even going to go into what a totally bat-shit-crazy law it is yet, because it needs a post entirely to itself. However, as you might imagine, this is pretty much the last thing I needed to deal with in the frantic final weeks of my time in the country.

At least I have friends that make me laugh. Pasted below is an excerpt from a conversation I had on facebook with a friend who never fails to make me smile. You know who you are, and thanks so much mate.

The Dutch Geologist: Incredible.... Paul the octopus was right! Spain-the Netherlands it is!

Subruban: Dutch, you must tell me, what the hell is this Paul the Octopus thing everyone is talking about? Seriously, I feel like I have woken up in an episode of the twilight zone.

The Dutch Geologist: In the Oberhausen Sea Life Aquarium in Germany, they have an octopus -Paul- who is predicting the outcome of the games Germany is playing. So far, he has been right all through the tournament, and he rightly predicted Spain would beat Germany, too. The way they do it is that they give him the choice of two containers with a tasty mussle inside, marked with the national flags of the countries playing. The one he opens first is the country that is going to win.

And the episode of the twilight zone you are in is the one where the principle character cannot leave a small exotic country because she should not own two certain cars but she does, and then she cannot sell the one and export the other, until some weird ally shows up (probably a man wearing a dress) who speaks in a strange language to the stern government agents until they mysteriously do what they ought to do or whatever, and then there is a law that national heritage cannot be exported and a thirty year old japanese car is national heritage so the lead character needs to produce a rare, stamped, papyrus scroll to show to the gate keepers leading to many adventures in the grotty insides of some large buildings populated by people shoving paper from left to right on their desk all day, and then when all's well that end's well there is a "to be continued..." sign on the other side of the large water because there she needs to mysteriously reverse-act all hurdles taken on 'episode one' because the car is stuck in a worm hole time conundrum of sorts or something to do with exhaust fumes or the BP oil spill or something. Luckily, she will be offered nacho cheese chips in this episode.
The end

Suburban: Dutch, I LOVE you. You Made My Day.

And I found out what this Paul the Octopus business was all about.

International Relocation for the Highly Disorganized, Pt1

2010-07-07T12:50:00.000+04:00

Because I care about you all so much, find below the first in my series on International Relocation for the Highly Disorganized. Today we will cover the To-Do list, a most critical part of your pre-departure planning.

Be sure to make an orderly list for the things you need to accomplish.
Post it somewhere where you will see it many times a day, like next to the Liquor Cabinet.
A graphic representation of the pre-departure flowchart and/or your current mental state drawn by your youngest child is optional, but highly recommended.
Always use your best handwriting.

You are welcome.

Kids are weird

2010-07-06T21:36:00.000+04:00

We are on the roof of the Al Falaj Hotel, looking out over the city with the kid. After a moment of silence, the kid looks up at us and says:

"when I was a little girl, a long time ago, there were not many cars here. Things were different before." She gestures to the Sheraton, where the old landing strip was 40 years ago "over there the planes were landing and coming from the sky. I was Salima, when I was a little girl."

Stone and I were speechless. Do your kids ever say anything really freaky?

Where does suburban shop? Home Style

2010-07-03T17:07:00.002+04:00

Household Style

I hate furniture and decoration shopping here. There is nothing unique anywhere, and it's like most of the furniture shops are still selling back stock of stuff that went out of style in the early 80's.

Perhaps your husband adores the sort of Ugly sofas features extensively in Egyptian Soap operas? those are available in Abundance here. My husband, Stone, has a major Boner for things made out of dark wood from Marina, and so does every other white dude in Oman. All our houses look the same, inside and out.

Short of driving to Dubai to Shop at Ikea, or ordering something massive over the internet, what's a style conscious girl to do? The answer is to make it yourself. Or hire someone to make it for you.

Before we go any further, can I share a secret with you that will Guarantee your success in having stuff made? Here it is:

Take the amount of time you think it will take to create something, and double it.

Clear? OK. First off, browse design sites on the internet, find some outrageous stuff you want, and go to Wadi Kabir. Try this for starters http://www.opulentitems.com/ You can have ANYTHING you can imagine made to order in Wadi Kabir. There are some fantastic woodworking, upholstery and metal crafting shops in Wadi Kabir.

Got an Ugly Sofa? Go buy some Luxe upholstery fabrics and have it restyled and recovered. Want a newer, cooler headboard for your bed? Go find some super high gloss oil based paints in outrageous colors, and have a luscious new headboard designed from scrap wood. Troll the automotive scrap yards and get a bed made of corrugated Iron and glossy, powdercoated, Classic car fenders. If you can dream it, it's likely the dudes in WK / Ghala can create it.

Ladies, you do not need to be afraid to go into Wadi Kabir or darkest Ghala. Contrary to whatever bullshit rumours you have heard, no one there will rape, rob or harass you.

Barring a trip into the depths of Wadi Kabir, following, is a list of the best places for home style in Muscat.

Al Medina Art Gallery
Al Madina is located on the sliproad between the Omanoil and the New Mosque (or the ghost house) on the MQ side of the Sultan Qaboos Street. Al Medina has a limited selection of locally themed art, but the real beauty of the place lies in their talent at framing. They are OUTSTANDING, and can frame anything beautifully. Do not be an asshole and ignore their advice, they are professionals, you are not.

-Adlink Trading, and Photo Magic

Vinyl Stickers are where it's at. Got an Ugly Mirror, Plain Walls, or a car that needs Jazzing up? Create your Own vinyl stickers. You can use fancy fonts, quotes from your favorite book, poetry, or 2-3 color images snatched from Google. Photo Magic has a Laser cutter for vinyl, and a variety of interesting fonts to play with. I had Adlink do some custom stickers and a custom wheel cover for a Pirate themed Car I was building. It looked awesome. I took one of the extra stickers and stuck it to an ugly mirror, and Viola, Subversive and Sexy. I might hang it over our bed in the new house. Surrender the Booty Indeed.....

Doing stickers right takes some practice, so get 3 times as many as you will need to start. You can also order larger, readymade scenes off of www.etsy.com go there and search for Vinyl Stickers. There is some really awesome stuff available.

-Neon Factory In Wadi Kabir-2482-1221

Actually called Al Nahar trading, this little company is located about 800 meters before the Wadi Kabir R/A on the right hand side coming from Ruwi. You'll see the sign out front advertising Neon Signs. These guys can make anything. Get creative, maybe you would like a funky neon chandelier for your dining room? A neon design to illuminate your back porch? Sajith, the guy who looks after the front end of the business is a delightful guy to deal with, and really did an astonishingly good job on the design and execution. All the other guys are kind, talented dudes who really get into the chance to do something creative for a change. Remember that you are not a huge customer, and show these guys some patience while they are working on your little order. You will be rewarded with an outstanding conversation piece for your home or business.

-Caravans Flowers-2456-6795
Located in their new Al Asfoor Plaza location, Caravans is better than ever. Run by a fascinating, and rather salty Canadian lady and her long suffering staff, Caravans is the best florist in Muscat. They did the flowers for my wedding, and they should do the flowers for yours. They have the freshest flowers anywhere, and they really understand how to care for them so that they stay fresh, often for weeks after you bring them home. Don't miss the outstanding Orchids and custom made arrangements they do. The prices are on par with everywhere else, and they also have an outstanding selection of unique trinkets, cards, gifts and sculpture available. It's a No Bullshit place, with the freshest flowers around. Never again will you have to deal with the unfriendly staff and third-rate flowers from La Bella Rose.

-Scrapping

You should make a point of stopping by places where old-ish houses and buildings are being torn down. Take your kids, and a basket of fresh fruit or cookies for the Laborers. Have a poke around, and see what can be salvaged from the jackhammers. I've scored some fantastic old tiles, giant slabs of Italian marble, Custom carved granite stair accents, stained glass windows, Hand made geometric made wooden ceiling inlays, and custom fabricated round window grilles. It's all there for the taking, and would otherwise end up in a landfill, or melted down and recycled. The laborers have always been amazingly helpful, and only to delighted to point out pretty things that I should take. I make sure to bring them treats, and tip them a rial or two if they have to rip something out specially for me.

-Ceros steel
I have Blogged about the wonderland that is Ceros Steel before. Ceros is located on the left hand side of the road road to the Egyptian, Phillipino (sp?), and ABA school in Al Khuwair, just before the rugby club. You can't miss it. They can make anything out of Metal. Aluminum, galvanized steel, powdercoating, and cast bronze are all within their ability. from custom shelving solutions to bespoke wax-cast sculptures, the nice guys at ceros can create it.

-Pro Shots Photography 2456-6663 www.proshots.org
Why don't you get your ugly-ass family and make them look gorgeous? Proshots can make that happen for you. Run by talented husband and wife team Rami and Huda, Proshots is a fantastic photography and videography company. Currently based in Al Qurm, near the recently demolished round mosque, they do high quality studio and offsite photography. Proshots has entirely female editing and photography staff, which is reassuring for women, especially at wedding and family sessions. They are professional to a fault, and they will make you look good no matter how ugly you really are. Trust me on this. They do wonderful framing and oversize canvasses, and well as botique and specialty albums. They are also really nice, and make you feel completely at ease from the first minute.

This is Joy, one of the lovely and talented photographers for Proshots.

Links and Weekly Highlights

2010-06-21T10:58:00.002+04:00

Some Random Quickies:

There is an article in The National regarding calls for Omani youths to take up temporary summer jobs. http://www.thenational.ae/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20100618/FOREIGN/706179900&SearchID=73394439617382 I could write a book on my thoughts regarding Omanization struggles, but part time jobs for students, and a gradual switch to hourly pay instead of salary for lower level jobe would make a good start.

Organica, a popular American blogger of Egyptian extraction, posted a really thoughtful post on how women who chose not to cover their hair are victimized by the same people who get all uppity about places where women are not allowed to cover their hair or faces. It'a an eloquent piece, and I encourage you all to go have a read. http://organicmuslimah.blogspot.com/2010/06/apology-to-non-hijabi.html

Here is a great way to kill some time, and polish your CPR skills. I want to kiss the genius who thought of this advertising campaign. It is totally NOT SAFE FOR WORK. http://www.supersexycpr.com/ It is also Not Safe for Super Fundo Nut-Jobs with no sense of Humour. Everybody else, go, and be fascinated by CPR. *tip of the hat to Stone and T3gib for the referral

More from here soon. Have a great Monday.

The Boys

2010-06-20T14:09:00.003+04:00

These are the guys who do all my body work.

You can right click and open in a new tab if you want to see the image full size. They do outstanding work, in insufferable heat, and are a lot of fun to hang out with. They always buy the kid a juice when we visit, and always let her "help" them make repairs. They are really nice guys.

I snapped this photo of them a few weeks ago but only got around to getting copies printed and delivered today. I ordered an 8X10 for each of them, plus one for the workshop wall. They seemed really pleased to receive them. I love Wadi Kabir.

The Proposal

2010-06-19T13:49:00.003+04:00

It is a beautiful thing to develop relationships with the people in your community. Even if you never become true friends with your local grocer, or the guy who pumps your gas, or the smurfs building the house next door, it's nice to know their names, and a little about them.

These casual relationships make the rather impersonal day-to day errands in my neighbourhood pleasant, and I love that it seems everyone within a mile's radius of my house knows my Daughter by name, and on site. It makes me feel safe.

I take our daughter to school almost every morning, and because of the size of my car, and my general apathy towards parking lots, I park across the street from her school, behind a row of apartments, and walk her over. I do this very day, twice a day. On the days when work or other commitments interfere, my Mom and Dad pick her up and Stone also does the occasional pick-up and drop off, but he parks inside the school parking lot.

One of the cleaners at the apartments across the street is a nice Omani man, who is about my age. I'll call him Juma. Juma is a respectable guy, working a rather thankless and low-paying job, but he always seems positive, and happy with what he's got in life. We see Juma every morning, and every afternoon, five days a week, and the kid is quite fond of him.

Juma knows my parents a little from when they do the school runs, and often sees me frazzled and prodding the kid along, on the phone, or in my Chef's outfit, or both. Juma, as would soon become apparent, has never seen Stone, and had drawn his own conclusions about my life from what little information he could gather in our brief interactions.

The other morning, after dropping the kid off to school, the following conversation took place:

Juma: Hi Suburban, You have time?

Me: It's kinda hot, but I've got a minute... How are you?

Juma: I'm fine. How is you car? Good?

Me: Thank god, Car is Good. No problems this week.

Juma: I have something for asking you, but I am, word is wary? You will be angry?

Me: Wow, that's good use of the word wary... Go ahead and ask, I won't be mad, but I do not know if I can help you.

Juma: Your daughter pebbles, she needs a father.

Me: O.O

Juma: You need a husband... to take care of you and your daughter. You are always working like this, too much busy.

Me: Uuuhhh... Um....

Juma: So I can speak to your father, maybe next week, I am knowing where you live! and maybe you will marry me? Because this is not good life for your daughter, I will take care of you.

Me: ......... O.O .......

Juma: Suburban?

Me: Oh... my... god... Juma, that is very sweet, but I am already married to Pebbles Father.

Juma: Really?

Me: Really. His name is Stone.

Juma: (astonished) And he lives here with you and your parents?

Me: Yes, he works for the same company as Dad. I'm so sorry Juma, your offer is very sweet, and you are a nice guy. I am sure you will make a wonderful father and husband some day.

Juma: Ok, so you are not angry?

Me: Not angry, I am flattered, thanks so much for asking.

It sort of broke my heart to tell him I was married already.

I spend a lot of my time on this blog writing about stuff that pisses me off, or stuff that I just don't understand, or cataloging the various unpleasant experiences I have around here. Maybe I should write more often about all the really good tings and people who are a part of my life here. Juma is one of them.

Where Does Suburban Shop? Expensive Fashion Edition

2010-06-16T10:41:00.006+04:00

When I am not attempting to import my housemaid into the US, plotting an international move, repairing one of the cars, or chasing my satanic toddler around the neighborhood, I sometimes go shopping, or get bespoke stuff made by one of the many skilled dudes we have around here.

You may remember when I posted a little something on the places I go for cheap thrills? This time there will not be maps, because I am not a guide book, and the list is by no means exhaustive. Cool?

Today I'm going to highlight some of the places I like to shop for clothes and accessories when I'm feeling flush, or really have my heart set on something unique. There are a lot of places in Muscat to waste wheelbarrows full of of your husband's money, but these are the best. **

Fashion:

First up is Eye Candy in Jawharat Al Shatti. You may die when you see the prices, but the selection of designer clothes, jewelery, and beauty accessories is fantastic. Local and international botique designers are featured on the racks, and you can expect excruciatingly honest feedback on how things fit you, or how to wear them better. Everything is handpicked by the lady who owns the place, and her taste is really, truly, unbelievably, impeccable. I get more complements on my necklace from there than on anything else I own. Save your pennies, mortgage your house, or sell your children into slavery, and then head on over. You won't regret it. (although your children may miss you)

Next up, believe it or not is MANGO located in Muscat City Center. It is, apparently, not just for teenagers. I shop there occasionally at the sales, and there are occasional gems. I especially like their limited, but always excellent shoe selection. I got these there:

Zuhair Murad for Mango. 25 RO. I love these shoes.

Another little known but truly excellent shop is Wardrobe, located in Al Asfoor plaza in Qurm. Alyona, the proprietor, sells genuine designer handbags and accessories, as well as a changing selection of lightly used designer clothes and accessories. Alyona has very good taste, and real knowledge of the stuff she is selling, plus a delightfully unpretentious attitude. You can look for wardrobe on Facebook, all the details of the shop are there.

Boutique Muscat, located in Madinat Qaboos, is the partnership of a couple of sisters with a penchant for design. They sell their own designs, as well as readymade labels, at surprisingly affordable prices. Much of the design is merging traditional omani patterns and fabrics with contemporary design. Despite some questionable items, most of the designs are really nice, and it's groovy to support local designers.

There is a Second Hand Watch Place in Sabco Center, upstairs to the right of the escalators. The consensus on Twitter is that it is called Future Jewelry, but none of us can remember the name for sure. You can find one of a kind and mass produced designer watches there at a fraction of the new cost, which sadly, is still astonishingly expensive.

There is another place that stocks second hand watches nearby: it's outside Sabco, on the way to wadi Center, and opposite the Panasonic showroom. It's called Diamond Watch, and they also do High-end second hand watches. *thanks to @BigManInOman for the tip!

There is an outstanding fabric ship in Al Ghubra, below and to the north west of the shell station exit. Skip the tacky polyester stuff at the front, and head to the back. Buy yourself some Luxe fabrics, and take them to your favorite tailor. I have had a YSL ball gown in a thousand layers of green silk and tuile copied by a local tailorl. I made a few changes that would make it fit my weird figure, and it looks outstanding. Don't be a dipshit and make it a last minute thing, plan ahead, and have at least 5 fittings if you want it to be perfect. My last dress took 10 fittings, and I paid through the nose for it, but it's perfect in every way. I wish I had somewhere to wear it!

If all else fails, seek out the internet. www.etsy.com sells handmade clothes, ball gowns, and home decor items that you just can't find here in Oman as well as lots of recycled designer originals. You need to have a working paypal account, but you can get stuff that you will be guarenteed nobody else in town can dream of owning.

I got this dress from glamarita on etsy, and I couldn't be happier with the service and fitting.

Yes, it's made of neckties. Yes, it's awesome.

Later in the week, I have a post planned on household style solutions, because I know you are all sick to death of the same shit from Marina and Home Center. Stay tuned.

** those of you who actually know me in person may question my authority to write about anything style or fashion related since I am Ms.Tshirt and Jeans, and couldn't put together a coffee morning outfit to save my life. This is true. You've been warned.

World Cup Hazards, part 1

2010-06-15T09:55:00.003+04:00

Text From My Dad Last Night:

I have escaped from football to Trader Vic's along with half the girls in town, evidently.

Men, Beware.

Goodbyes Suck

2010-06-13T16:00:00.000+04:00

More from here in the coming days, but for now:

We are Leaving Oman in Early August for what looks to be a 3-4 year stint in the US. I'm Sad and Happy at the same time, but I think anyone who reads this blog regularly will also point out that I am seriously burned out on Muscat, and it's time for a change. Really, I've had a total sense of humor failure.

On the subject of moving on, it would appear that my truck loves me almost as much as I love it. We listed my incredibly reliable and perfect truck for sale on Wednesday night. Thursday morning, his battery died, and could not be convinced to accept a jump. I think it was his way of telling me he does not want me to sell him? Three days and an ungodly amount of hassle and terror later I have a new battery, (which cost 49 freaking rials!!) and things seem OK. Fingers Crossed.

My best friends drove down from the UAE for our farewell party over the weekend. I've been working, partying, and having truly ridiculous adventures with these people for the last 8 years, and they are the only people I know who I can be myself around. When we get together, the conversation and the wine flow like water, the laughs are unending, and the adventures are so epic I am unable to describe them to normal people. I am more at home around them, than I am anywhere else.

I managed to hold back the tears when they left on the return trip yesterday afternoon, but I'm a total wreck now. Boogers, weeping, red eyes, etc.... you know the drill. I'm gutted. I had forgotten how hard it is to say goodbye to someone you really, truly, deeply and passionately love. What if there is nobody where we are going who I can talk to, or laugh with?

I took our wonderful housemaid, who has been caring for our daughter with compassion, love and discipline since the day she was born, to the US embassy yesterday morning. I was hoping to get a visa for her to come to the US with us for 2 years. We really thought she had a chance to be granted a visa, given her work history, age, attachment to the kid, that she is not a flight risk, and because the world is a fair and just place where good people eventually get the good things that are due to them. She could have done two years with us, and as she is 55 already, retired back to Sri Lanka in comfort.

Her visa was denied, in the kindest and most empathetic terms, by the really lovely woman who interviewed her. It's a computer issue, as far as I can tell, that the terms of our posting are too long to allow us to sponsor a nanny / housemaid. The Embassy people were genuinely wonderful, empathetic, and kind, but rules are rules, and it's not going to work out to bring her along with us. I feel sort of bad for the embassy staff having to deliver news like that on a daily basis.

Tita is gutted. This world, that has pretty much been shitting on her since the day she was born, continues to do so. I feel like a total Asshole foe even getting her hopes up. It just does not seem fair. Tita has been raising other people's children for the last 20 years. She cares for our daughter like her own, and does it with equal measures of love and discipline. We had sort of hoped that a nice reward for all her years here would be a 2 year trip to the states, where she would make lots of money (we have to pay her by the hour, provide health insurance, etc... ) see a little more of the world, and atttend school to learn how to use a computer so she can type all her journal entries down, instead of writing them.

I don't want to imply that this is a selfless move, I assure it it is totally selfish. If we really, truly cared, you could ask why we have not been paying her by the hour at US minimum wage here, or why we did not send her to computer school here, or why we have not brought her along on holiday with us in the past, if we want her to see the world so badly. Those are all fair questions.

We will leave her with a generous severance, arrange a shipment for some of the stuff she has amassed with us, and try to find her another good family to care for for the next couple of years before she returns home to Sri Lanka. We have met informally with a few potential families, however they seem to think they are hiring a slave, and not a Nanny/ Housemaid. Hopefully we will find someone good where there can be a mutually beneficial relationship.

Moving On, hugs and kisses to a few of my haters out there in the comments sections. Way to go Trolls, you guys make my day.

More later in the week:

How some of the stuff my kid says freaks me out.
Three weird small-world encounters we've had lately.
An update on where to shop, what to eat, and how NOT to murder your own child during the summer months.

The Week in Review

2010-04-26T16:20:00.000+04:00

Another boring photo post, highlighting the week in review. But first: Some housekeeping notes,

I know there are a number of you out there to whom I owe extensive, effusive, gratitude filled Emails. Please accept my continued apologies, things are just waaay too busy to compose anything suitable, or worth reading. I will get on it Soon, I promise.
Regarding the various comments on the Where does Suburban shop post, pointing out the fact that my maps and directions were less than perfect: I am not a professional Cartographer, and I often forget that not everybody thinks a google earth snapshot qualifies as a perfect map. The next post may or may not feature better directions, depending on my mood.
I have wanted to blog about some more serious stuff going on reigonally and Locally, however, time is too short, so for the moment this blog remains a mostly vapid personal diary. Thanks for your understanding.
Lastly, Doesn't anyone want some lovely Wadi cats? Toddler-Proof, Neutered, and totally free to good homes!

Moving on, the week in Pictures:

The Jackass Du Jour is this guy who cut in front of me in line at ARAMEX, spoke rudely to the staff there, and spent almost the entire 15 minutes drumming his fingers on the table, heaving impatient sighs, and having really loud self important conversations on his phone.

Yes, I am a talented Stealth Photographer

Next Up, the fine folks at Marina Bandar Rawdah have placed a lifeguard near the pool, sometimes. They have also hung 3 floatey round things nearby. On the day we visited, the lifeguard was in his chair about 50% of the time, usually reading or texting on his phone. The new sign on the new lifeguard chair reads something like" We are not responsible if you Ignore the Pool Rules". Rather Testy, and still a failure to acknowledge the Marina's need to provide a safe facility for their paying guests to enjoy.

While I think we can all agree that the little girl who drowned did so solely to to the carelessness of her idiot parents. However, the reason she died, instead of just having a close call, and a trip to the emergency room, comes down to the marina being unsafe and ill equipped for a medical emergency, and me and the other adults not recognizing the situation in time. I have owned up to my responsibility, I'd like to see the Marina do the same.

Dude, that must be a FASCINATING newspaper.

You might be interested to know why, exactly, am I so freaking busy? it's because I"m spending all my spare time with these guys.

These guys? These are my People.

I am attempting to overhaul a local restaurant, which will remain unnamed. It is harder than I thought it would be. The Cooks are fantastic though, and I'm really enjoying putting on my old Chef's Whites and doing what I do best.

It has not been without it's frustrations, but I'm genuinely enjoying the work. I am not enjoying re-growing all the callouses I used to have when I was a fancy-pants chef. The ends of all my fingers are permanent burns, and I have gotten so soft, that at the end of each shift my finger where I hold my knife has a new layer of blisters on it. Each night, I peel them off, and the next day, I carve new ones in. I am wondering if I will eventually run out of skin.

This is my finger, after day one. it looks a million time worse now.

Also, I think I am allergic to the handwash in the kitchen, because all the skin on my palms is blistering and peeling off. Super Gross.

I have also been doing a lot of laundry, on account of the fact that Both Stone and the Kid have had a Nasty case of Stomach flu. I can't figure out how to work the washing machine, because none of the symbols make any sense whatsoever. Look Below:

Clockwise from Top:

You are a circle standing on a Box
this wash cycle is for floral prints
This wash cycle is for floral prints with internet access
National Park Camp site
Campsite by a river
This wash cycle is for people from the 60's
Caution! Squid Washing in Progress
Electrocution Cycle
Keyboard Washing Cycle
Cycle for clothes soiled by poop
Origin Oman Cycle
Psychedelic Drugs Cycle

Seriously, could they not think of some better way to classify the cycles?

Busy Week

2010-04-19T15:32:00.004+04:00

Just a quick Photo post to show you what I've been getting up to this week. More news at the Weekend!

Where Does Suburban Shop?

2010-04-12T11:25:00.004+04:00

By popular request, a few Google earth snapshots of some of my favorite places for shopping in Muscat. The images are are shrunk, to see them full size right click and select "Open in New Tab"

To stone's dismay, I don't always shop at bargain basement places, I have hideously expensive taste occasionally, so to cover those issues I'll do a follow up series on where I go to shop when I want to spend insane amounts of Stone's money on really unique or fancy stuff. But for today, here are some suggestions for the cheepskate in all of us.

First Off, AdLink Printing and Swag. Adlink is Managed and Owned by my friend Aslam. They make pretty much anything you can think of. Tire covers, custom stickers for your car, screen printed shirts, Exhibition stands, and everything else under the sun. Aslam has flawlessly executed some unique / criminally insane ideas of mine, and done it all on time, every time. AdLink has grown into a large business now, dealing mainly with corporate customers, so if you don't have a bulk order, expect to pay a premium.

Aslam will get a post all his own here soon, as his story of business success here is a fantastic one, and he's a nice guy to boot.

Next off, and down the street from AdLink, is Daiso, the Japanese 600 bz store. I went there for the first time this week and was totaly amazed by the stuff they have for sale. It's way better than the other 600 BZ stores in town. They have an exceptional collection of crockery and gardening supplies as well as a good hardware corner, and about a billion other things you will wonder how you ever lived without. Map Below.

Next up is the Designer Factory Seconds shop, and Sadiq the Jeweler. The factory second's shop answers the question "why does the girl who is bagging my groceries have 3 Louis Vuitton bags, when I can't afford one?" The answer is because her bags are fake.

Go here for a great selection of excellent (and really high quality) fake and factory second clothes, bags, and jackets. It's relatively expensive, but the stuff in the store is really high quality.

Also nearby is Sadiq the Jeweler, who has been holding court for 30 years in the same small unmarked storefront near the wadi. He has a great selection of loose stones, and a no Bullshit attitude. If you go jewelry shopping because you like to have your ass kissed, go elsewhere, if you go jewelery shopping because you want to try your hand at designing something yourself, of having a custom piece made out of old jewelry, Sadiq is your man. His prices are good, and the workmanship is of a pretty high quality. He made my engagement ring and our wedding bands based on rough sketches and verbal descriptions of what I wanted, and we couldn't be happier.

Map Below.

For those of you who own Toyotas or Lexus and are tired of the useless, inbred, monopolistic, and evil twats at Bahwan Toyota, be sure to buy all your spare parts from Tariq Al Kiyumi Genuine Toyota Parts. He's in Wadi Kabir, with other locations scheduled for opening soon. He's Also my brother, and a genuinely nice guy. Map Below

I buy 90% of my clothes from SANA in Wadi Kabir. The prices are really really fantastic, and the selection changes weekly. I have, on one occasion, worn a SANA outfit down the catwalk at a fashion show because the organiser liked my own outfit so much. For real, there are some real gems there.

The Key with SANA is to go often, and take chances. Some of my favorite, and most complemented pieces have come from there and they are invariably the ones that I wasn't sure about purchasing at the time. The bras and panties section often has slightly imperfect or factory second Victoria's Secret and other designer brands, as well as the house brand. There is a small home-wares section, and an extensive children's section, though the prices for the kid's stuff isn't as spectacular. Do try everything on, as with some pieces, the sizing or cut is just totally wrong, no matter how good it looks on the hanger. Map Below.

All of our cars are insured through the 3 guys who operate out of a battered porta-cabin in a forgotten corner of Qurm. They work mostly with Oman United Insurance, but broker with all the big companies. I LOVE these guys, I love them so much that we have discussed all going on holiday together. For real. They are efficient, no bullshit, full of good humor, and tell a wicked joke. They also get me some astonishingly good rates on the insurance for the cars.

The system is as follows: I go in with my license and the mulkiya for the car, and leave it with them for a few days. I stop back by later in the week and they tell me what the best deal they could get is. Occasionally if I forget to come back, they call me or drop by my house. We have a good relationship, and a few year's worth of trust, so when they get a good price, they usually take out the policy straight away and don't need to consult me. Whenever I get around to it, I stop back by the office, and pay them, and pick up the insurance policy.

They are really sweet, kind guys, who know me and my daughter by name. Go see them, and be nice, they are No Bullshit Dudes. Map Below.

So, In summary, I am a Cheepskate, who can't stand groveling salesman. Enjoy the deals.

What we did this week, surviving the summer of 2010

2010-04-11T13:41:00.003+04:00

Can you name some things that are less painful than a full summer in Muscat with a toddler? It's a long list, but lighting myself on fire, and pulling out all my fingernails spring immediately to mind. Thus, I give you how we have made it through this week without a murder or suicide or both occurring in our family.

The highlight of this week were two visits to the houses of friends. Nothing like sharing the chaos. I must share with you what one friend has done as part of her summertime survival plan: She bought her kids a giant trampoline with safety netting around it, and then, wait for it... set the thing up INSIDE her house. This Woman is genius.

First off, let me repeat my advice to go to the Children's museum in Qurm as often as you can stand it. The kid can't get enough of it. Lately, I have my ass handed to me over at the brain puzzles table by Salem the Savant-like Security guy.

Here we See Salem the Savant Security guy looking triumphant after whipping my ass at the random red blocks competition

If you do not yet own a garden cat or four, may I recommend acquiring one ASAP. Ours keep the kid entertained for more than an hour every day. She dresses them up in baby clothes, carries them around in her arms, wrestles them, strokes them and yesterday, painted one purple. We have also died them a rainbow of colors using food coloring and a little water in a sprayer, it's hilarious.

No cat? We have 3 lovely, toddler-proof kittens and 1 purple cat which can be provided to you free of charge!

Email Now! Otheroman at gmail dot com! Please!

We went into Ruwi over the weekend and hit the Designer Knock off store. The kid had a blast wandering through the various back alleys of Darkest Ruwi, and was quite the little attention getter. We bought one of those fresh whole coconut drinks, which she thought was super crazy, and then had a shopping fest at the place that sells fake designer stuff.

I now know why everyone and their sister seems to have Louis Vuttion handbags around here. It's because they are fake. We also scored some excellent factory second winter jackets, giving us hope for a time and place where they might actually be required.

After touring through Ruwi, we went as a Family for Thali, which is a type of Indian meal that features unlimited teeny tiny portions of about a million different Indian Specialties. It's really really really fun and excellent value. a massive lunch for four of us plus two big bottles of water and 4 Pepsi set us back less than 10 rials. A much better value than the champaigne brunch at a local hotel, I'll tell you.

Thali. I could not tell you what a single thing on this plate is, but it was all delicious

Late last week, I took the kid on a long drive to the ODC near the Shangri-la for lunch and a paddle on the beach, followed by a quick shopping excursion at SANA in Wadi Kabir, the greatest temple of discount shopping this side of Walmart. If you have not yet been to SANA, I highly recommend it. 90% of my wardrobe comes from there.

I have typed this entire post while the kid has played in the bathtub. I threw in some food coloring to turn the water blue, and gave her some dirty clothes to "wash". It might not be genius, but it's killed an hour.

How are you guys keeping your sanity intact?

Random

2010-04-06T07:12:00.000+04:00

Back when I used to work for "The Juice" We had an agreement, stipulated in my employment contract, that any decisions made while shouting were subject to a 48 hour holding period.

It worked really well. I should try and use that rule in my day-to-day life here.

More on the PDO Camp Security thing

2010-04-05T16:21:00.005+04:00

This will be the last of my posts about PDO and Ras Al Hamra Camp Security. Then I will suck it up, and move on to other stuff. I understand that if I don't like it, I can leave. I'm trying to, as soon as Stone's contract is finished up here. Oman has changed, but not so much for the better. Sorry in advance for the annoying tone of this post.

You might recall when I wrote about the robberies and Security issues that have been plaguing PDO camp residents of late? If not you can read the following posts to brush up on the Background

When We were Robbed back in January http://otheroman.blogspot.com/2010/01/general-news-update.html
When a Neighbor had their car stolen in January http://otheroman.blogspot.com/2010/01/stolen-nissan-exterra.html
A totally unscientific poll regarding theft in Muscat http://otheroman.blogspot.com/2010/03/poll-theft-in-muscat.html
Part one in a 2 part series highlighting the incidence of crime on PDO camp as compaired to muscat on the whole, and that the company is pretty much doing sweet fuck-all about it http://otheroman.blogspot.com/2010/03/crime-again-specifically-pdo-crime.html
Part two regarding why the company is doing Sweet Fuck-All about robberies on camp, and the MOT's Land Grab of prime government owned real estate. http://otheroman.blogspot.com/2010/03/crime-at-pdo-part-2.html

Right, is Everyone up to speed? I put much of this into an email to Mohammed, the concerned department head. My email never received any response or acknowledgement, nor was I invited to participate or attend any meetings regarding camp security. Fair enough.

Today, three guys who have been charged with beefing up the security for the houses which have been robbed stopped by. They discussed, while completely ignoring me, and anything I had to say, ways to install more flimsy locks on my house. I Had a few Ideas, which I initially tried to deliver in a polite and helpful manner, but found myself being talked over and outright ignored. I half wondered if someone had pressed a mute button on me, for all the heed they paid to anything I had to say or contribute. I really don't think I have ever dealt with anyone as rude as the Indian guy they sent, and the Omani's were not much better. I would talk, they would all go blank, and then turn away and start talking to Stone or amongst themselves. I was Invisible.

Our house, when you count external and internal doors, plus the gates and store cupboards, has 14 different doors requiring no less than 14 different keys. In addition to this we have 16 different locks that allow us to secure the windows and doors from the inside. For the house to be reasonably secure, 10 of the locks with 10 different keys need to be used, and another 8 of the inside security locks need to be used. This is in part, because the locks on many of the doors and windows can be jimmied with a thin piece of plastic, (as was the case in our break in) or a firm kick.

I understand that I am no PHD whiz kid, but I find it rather cumbersome to maintain a keyring of 14 keys and to check, nightly, 30 different locking mechanisms in a small 3 bedroom, 2,000 square foot house.

My Suggestion is that everywhere possible, everything be secured with a series of identical locks and tumblers, and there is one master key that works for all the locks on a given house. Additional twisty locks and internal locks could be installed as needed. The feedback was that it's "impossible" "PDO will never authorize this Expense" "Too Difficult" "Not available here" "maybe it is your Maid" We never even got around to discussing security lighting, because the electrical contractor didn't come along.

While I was in Abu Dhabi, an email from the security guys of PDO was forwarded around. A friend kindly forwarded it to to me, and I'll quote it below. Comments in Bold Italics are mine.

Dear Colleagues,

From the numerous individual communications(like, hundreds of them), I am aware of the concerns that many of you have regarding the recent burglaries in RAH residential camp(Indeed I have been aware of them for months, but it's much easier to ignore a problem than it is to do anything about it.). We feel that there is a need for both residents and the Company, as your landlord, to address this issue(you whining babies). A meeting was organized with some residents whom have recently suffered break/walk-ins (But not the woman from the internet, because we in PDO do not like things like facts or numbers). In the discussion, responsibilities of landlord and residents were clarified (You complain, We ignore) and a plan of action has been agreed to help reduce future risks of this nature (We will provide more flimsy locks for your houses, you will take seventeen mornings off work to wait for the absent and brainless contractor to arrive and not fix anything the way you want it) .It should be noted that the ROP data shows that Al-Wateyyah ROP, where RAH Camp area is covered, is the 2^nd lowest in terms of recorded crime incidents in Muscat area during 2009 (It should also be noted that Wattayah ROP jurisdiction covers one of the lowest density housing areas in the governate, and encompasses mostly ROP property, car dealerships, gated communities that actually have gates, and the Qurm Shopping district. So what's really surprising is that it's only the SECOND lowest crime rate in Muscat Governate). (Additionally we won't elaborate on the numbers behind the statistics, because we didn't really do any research, we just phoned up a Brigadier and asked for some numbers. We're scientific like that.)

Photo: A Google Earth grab of the approximate coverage of the Wattayah Jurisdiction

My Neighbor up the street has been asking for an additional lock on her sliding glass door for 2 years now. The PDO contractor says PDO won't approve it, even though the housing for the lock is falling apart, and the door can be easily jimmied from the outside.

It might be of interest to the Management of PDO that I have been getting something in the vicinity of 25-30 hits a day from people in the Netherlands, Australia, Brazil, US, and weirdly, Nepal, googling for PDO Camp Crime and PDO Camp Safety Oman . It might also be of interest to you that my blog is the top result on both of those searches, as well as generally in the top ten for anything you search for regarding PDO camp, PDO living conditions, PDO Family Safety etc... Unlike most of my traffic, these guys tend to stick around for a whopping average of 8 minutes.

I know we have it good here in Oman, but I do think there is a time and a place to start discussing personal safety issues in real terms. Maybe I've just had an unfortunate ride here.

If you want to know my personal stats for Crime in Oman, here they are. This covers a period of time of approximately ten years, living in Al Qurm Heights, Hay Al Rahba, Al Ghubra, and PDO camp, and a comparative 20 years living in the States.

Thing / 10 years in Oman / 20 years in the US

Home Robbery / 2 / 1

Attempted robbery / 2 / 0

Car Break ins / 2 / 2

Home invasions / 2 / 1

Wallet stolen / 2 / 0

Attempted sexual Assault / 2 / 1

These are only my experiences, and mine alone. I don't claim to speak for the experiences of others.

And, We're Back.

2010-04-04T15:58:00.004+04:00

I had an absolutely fantastic time in Abu Dhabi. 11 nights and 12 days of hard work, great friends, desert sand, long drives, long talks, stress and laughter. I missed my family more than usual this time, but not so much that it didn't feel fantastic to get away. A By the Numbers Round up, followed by a few highlights in detail.

Cars Driven: 4... of which, Awesome: 1

Best Car: Renault Sherpa

Worst Car: a 1995 deisel Land Rover Discovery

Top speed of a Nissan Altima: 210 kph.

Number of times hopelessly lost on the streets of Abu Dhabi: 2

Kilometers logged: 800

Pairs of Shoes Packed: 3

Pairs of jeans packed: 9

Evening gowns packed: 1

Evening gowns worn: 0

Showers taken: 5

Average number of meals consumed per day: 2.6

Percentage of total Body Weight lost: 6.8%

Gin and Tonic's Consumed by Me: 4

Beers consumed by me: 65

Wine consumed by me: 5 glasses

Number of times Hit on, Total: 65

Number of times hit on by American fighter pilots: 12

Number of above American fighter pilots who had Moustaches: 11 (wtf?)

Number of times I was referred to as a "Freak Magnet": 15+

Fake eyelashes applied and worn in a sandstorm: 1 set

Helicopter rides for me: O

A few highlights in Detail. I got to drive one of these things. It's one of four in the world, a Rally Protoype, everything carbon fiber, everything custom, with 4 racing seats and harnesses. The guy who owns it kindly took me, Tanya and Lana out one evening and let us drive it in circles around the desert. It was awesome, I may have had an actual orgasm.

Due to both the Death of Sheikh Ahmed and the unusual lack of a bar in the Bivouac, things were rather subdued. None the less, fun was had, and things were extremely social.

I had a chance to have a long chat with one of the Medics about the little girl who drowned at the marina. He's a London guy, who works in a Busy ER and has seen it all. We talked a little but about the physiology of drowning, about how peaceful children usually appear when they are drowning, about how I fucked up not recognizing it, about how the timeline between the kid going under and the Ambulance arriving was unacceptable, about how much it sucks watching children die. It was really good to talk to someone who sees it all the time. I told him about the whole situation, and he described it as a swiss Cheese Situation, where it's not one hole in the safe guards that fails and results in a death, but a series of mistakes which when compounded lead to an accident turning fatal. It was a really healthy conversation, and I feel a lot better for having had it.

We got a fly by by one morning by seven American F-16's. They seemed so close in that I could almost reach up and touch them, though I'm sure they were much higher than that. It was Awesome, but as our guys had 2 helicopters on approach at the time, the guys in our command center were really pissed off, and rightly so. But it was awesome. They sound fantastic.

I, for my part, produced scads of paperwork, attended meetings, sorted out a water crisis at 4:00 am, and drank a lot of coffee.

Stone is home from work now, so I'll sign off. More from here soon.

How Awesome are my Readers?

2010-03-22T17:36:00.002+04:00

Totally Awesome and, obviously, people with excellent taste. Also, all of my readers are devastatingly beautiful. Studies have shown that reading otheroman makes you more beautiful.

So, get this, within 24 hours of posting my totally stuck-up sounding request for information about Texas in Genral, and Houston Specifically, I got 4 lengthy replies from nice Texans, or nice people who have lived in Texas and survived it.

For Real. Isn't that Amazing?

Thank you to Kristi, Brian, Michael and Alice! Your delightful, open minded, and honest advice is fantastic. I really cannot thank you enough, except to extend a personal invitation to come eat Arugula salad, mexican food, and drink Microbrews with us in Houston anytime. I promise not to wear my Barack Obama shirt, or act like a major twat. I'm really different in person, I swear.

I'm off to the UAE tonight for 12 days and 11 nights of fast cars, good friends, helicopters, crazy medics, 3,000 k of driving, sleep deprivation, sand dunes, one gala dinner, and a cowboys and Indians themed party.

I'll try and post intermittently, dependant upon having adequate satellite internet facilities this year.

Look after the place while I'm gone?

Rollin, rollin, rollin, keep those doggies rollin'

2010-03-21T17:07:00.000+04:00

* This started as a blog post and turned into a minor political diatribe. Sorry in advance*

Git along, little doggies.

We find out late next week where we are being sent next, if we are being sent anywhere at all. It looks a lot like Houston at the moment.

Houston, as you may be aware, is located in America. This is nice for me, having been raised in America and all. Houston is also in Texas, which if you are aware of the regional diversity of the United States, is like a different planet to where I was raised. We speak roughly the same language, and drive on the same side of the road, but the similarities peter out from there. If I may reveal to truly shallow depth of my character, Texas frightens me, a lot. One can only assume that Houston is full of Texans, and while I believe they are genuinely kind and welcoming people, THEY SCARE ME.

George Bush (s) came from there. They talk really really really slowly. Some of them have guns, like INSIDE their cars, all the time. The nighbourhoods I have looked at have neither front porches, nor sidewalks, and everyone's suburban back yard has an 8 foot privacy fence around it. They deep fry toast.

Texas is full of republicans, but I'm not sure they are the sort of fiscally conservative and secular republicans with whom I think I share much common ground. I am afraid that the streets will be awash in Zombiefied, Glen Beck Quoting, war-making, Anti-Choice, Anti contraception, racist Nut-bars. In Texas, I think everyone goes to Church, every Sunday. I think they will try to get all "Come to Jesus" and "You'll burn in hell because you don't think exactly like us" on me. I will be ostracized, lonely and friendless. Especially if I keep this attitude up.

I know, I am such a Asshole, unfairly maligning the good people of Texas, without ever having been there for more than a stopover. I'm sorry Texas, it's just that I don't understand you very well, and the media does not portray you in, shall we say, the kindest light.

I am looking forward to decent Mexican food, Ample parking, hardware stores, being able to speak Spanish again, vast grocery stores with everything I could ever dream of on the shelves, one hundred thousand awesome classic cars to choose from, Country music, classic rock radio stations, not being mocked for wearing cowboy boots, outrageous clothes, and for the first time in my entire life, a horse of my own.

I am thankful that Stone is employable in this labour market, and that he can have a real, corporate job with health benefits. I really don't want to raise my daughter without health coverage, and if it were up to me to go back to being a Chef to support the family, we would never in a million years be able to afford health insurance. Maybe that will change, with the health reform stateside, assuming it gets passed. I don't know if I want to live in a country full of people who won't help their fellow man receive the basic human right that is medical care.

I am happy that Stone is not a reluctant, Euro-centric prick who will hate everything about America on principle. Stone genuinely loves America and in his wonderful, flexible, chameleon style, he is delighted to embrace American culture and assimilate to whatever the norm is going to be in Texas. He already owns a few cowboy outfits, which he wears at any opportunity, he's practicing his drawl, and he's even talking about buying some guns.

So it's not like I'm suffering, but I think I am going to find a lonely planet guide book for Texas, because frankly, I know less about the place than I know about Saudi or Pakistan. My friends from the state I grew up in are far more apprehensive about the dangers of my moving to Texas, as they were about me moving here. But none of them are from Texas either.

So, are any of you guys from Texas or Houston? Can you help with some information? Can you correct my hideously ignorant perceptions of your fine state?

Is it nice?
Are the people nice?
Are they nice to Libertarian leaning Democrats like myself?
Does it rain in Houston? I heard it rains a lot, which is weird because I thought Texas was really dry, with like Cactus and tumbleweeds and stuff.
How do you meet people? Is it Ok to go over to your neighbor's house with like a pie or a six-pack of beer or something and introduce yourself? Or will they shoot at me?
Do Texans Drink?
Where is a good neighbourhood on the west side?
Is there anywhere artsy or creative or edgy out that way?
Can I grow Bananas in my garden?
Does everybody really have a pool in their backyard? Should I have a pool in my backyard?
Should we live in a House or a Condo or a Townhome?
What kind of car is appropriate in Houston?
Is it OK to let my three year old run around naked on the beach or in the yard, or will people get all freaked out about it?
Does Houston Have a beach nearby?
Are top-notch Mexican ingredients available in the Suburbs, or do I have to go to Mexicantown to get the good stuff?
Does everyone ride western or are there some good Hunter-Jumper Barns around?
Is my Daughter going to get picked on for her weird sounding foreign name?
Anything else you feel like sharing?

You can comment here, or drop me an email. otheroman@gmail.com Additionally, you may call me an arugula salad eating, microbrew drinking, northern democrat elitist, if you wish. Because that's only fair.

Summer in Muscat With Toddlers: The Survival Guide.

2010-03-20T15:18:00.002+04:00

Does it seem unusually hot for March to anybody else? This isn't the hottest March I can remember, but it seems close. Thus, in the interests of public service, and the continued survival of my own child, I present the Muscat Summer survival guide.

Coping with the heat in the car

We have purchased about a billion giant Coleman freezer blocks from Lulu and Sultan Center. Before a trip in the car, we crab a couple of freezer blocks, wrap them in Dish towels, and pack them inside a cool-box. When we get out of the car, we place them in the car seats, and cover the seats with a towel. When we get back, the kids have an Icy Cool seat, free from scalding hot metal clips, and an Ice Block to cuddle while the A/C kicks in. It's totally worth the hassle.
Get your windows tinted with the darkest, most expensive mirrored film available. VCool and 3m film will set you back something insane like RO 200, which for that price should include a Blow Job, and application by leggy naked blondes, but does not. Despite the lack of a Blow Job or naked women, it's still worth the price. Also, it's mirrored film is great to stop pervy dudes from staring at you while you drive.
Don't buy a car with a sunroof, if you can avoid it.
We had a Tailor create a thick, quilted, reflective windscreen cover, which goes on the OUTSIDE of the car and is held in place with straps that I Affix and slam in the door. It makes an Enormous difference, especially if your windshield is really slanted.
leave your windows slightly open when you park.
And, (OBVIOUSLY) Never, Ever, Ever leave your kids in the car, even for a second, Even with the Engine running.

Entertainment

Pools are great. Slap on the sunblock and hide in the cooling confines of a local pool until summer is over. Watch your kids, alright? Don't be an asshole and just leave them there with a maid who can't swim. That's criminally stupid.
Air Conditioned Play groups: Buzzy Bees, in MQ, at the Back of Kargeen is a good indoor play area, and there is also a good indoor play area in Bareeq al Shatti. Admission is 2 - 4 rials, depending on the amount of time you'll spend there.
Tumble Tots group meets like two mornings a week at the Rugby Club, near the Egyptian and ABA schools in Al Khuwair.
Muscat City Center has a really noisy and expensive play area next to the food court, with video games, rides, and a giant climbing and sliding structure. We sometimes go and play there for a couple of hours, and then have lunch at the Noodle House.
The Children's Museum is fantastic. It's open in the mornings.
Bait AL Baranda art gallery and museum, near the fish R/A in Muttrah, and The Muscat Aquarium, next to the disgracefully unsafe and irresponsible Marina Bandar Rawdah are both good for killing an hour or so of daylight.
Sometimes, we just go and walk through the gorgeous hotel lobbies of the Chedi, the Grand Hyatt, the Al Bustan, and the intercontinental. We bring books to read together, have a glass of juice in the coffee shop, and then listen to the way our voices Echo when we yell and run around. The Concierge really hates that.
You can always go to the beach, but I find that in the depth of summer, the water is usually too hot to swim in during the day time, and thhere is rarely enough shade.
Most of the hotels offer excellent Residents deals during the summer. Use them to the fullest. We spent a week and a half at the Shangri-la last summer, and 6 nights at the Chedi.

Entertainment At Home

Last Year, We bought a giant inflatable waterslide from Toys R US at Markaz Al Bahja. It's great, we've literally got like 300 hours of entertainment out of it in under a year, but be advised that it gets really scuzzy in the humidity.
Sultan Center has begun stocking a really great variety of kids science experiments, and puzzles and educational board games. The prices seem quite reasonable, in light of my desperation to keep the kid amused.
Host a Kiddie Dinner party. Each week, the kid's two best friends, Ali and Hassan come over for dinner and two hours of evening playtime. Twice a week, she goes to their houses. They amuse each other, leaving me free to bask in the cool comfort of the lounge, without endless interruptions.
Stock up on Playdough, paints, crayons, facepaints, and stamp sets.
Aging US hipsters might be familiar with the Band "they might be giants". They are producing fantastic Kids music and DVD's these days, and we cannot recommend them highly enough. Here comes science is the best. Even Stone and I like the songs. Links Below.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Here_Comes_Science
http://www.amazon.com/Here-Come-ABCs-DVD-Combo/dp/B000BEZPSC/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1269083457&sr=8-3
http://www.amazon.com/Here-Come-123s-CD-DVD/dp/B000VDDCLK/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1269083457&sr=8-4

Further Afield

Get out of town with a Long weekend in Lebanon, up in the hills. party down in Beirut, and then take advantage of some great off season deals at the Ski areas, a mere hour's drive away from Downtown Beirut. It's gorgeous Up there, fantastic food, and lots of good walks and hikes for the little ones. . http://www.skilebanon.travel/ http://www.skimzaar.com
Head down to Salalah for the Khareef. Fly, don't drive. Salalah is lovely, despite the fact that it's crawling with really hideous examples of Saudi Males at that time of year.
Head up to Jabal Akhdar, and let the kids run around in the fantastic ruined village nearby. Altitude is everything.
If you are feeling flush, book a villa for a week or a Month in Bodrum, Turkey. It's astonishingly safe, friendly, and gorgeous, and the food and outdoor possibilities for kids are second to none. http://www.bodrumluxuryvillarentals.com/ http://www.holidaylettings.co.uk/bodrum/

Chapter two in the Summertime survival guide, coming soon.

Wednesday Random

2010-03-17T11:01:00.000+04:00

Some Random questions for today. This is a slightly boring post, but do watch the video, the interesting bit is at the end.

Answers, if you have any, in the comments section or direct to me at otheroman@gmail.com

Why is the kid not napping anymore?
As a follow up, how long do you think it will be before I loose my mind?
My tailor has had my favorite shirt for a month and a half now, and still has not copied it. Is she trying to tell me something?
Do we have Child protective services here? Do we have social workers who monitor children in At-Risk situations? Anything?
Why can I never remember to buy food for the cats when I go to the store?
Is it a subliminal expression of my desire to get rid of them?
Why won't anyone take a kitten? Please? They are very good with little kids.
Why was 10% of my blog traffic yesterday from the US Department of State in Reston Virginia?
Get a load of the video below. Why do people do this?

The Children's Museum in Muscat

2010-03-16T16:00:00.000+04:00

Today, a quick post about about the Children's Museum in Qurm, But first, one final piece of housekeeping regarding the Friday's Drowning at the Marina.

If there are any witnesses who were at the marina when the little girl drowned, and who would be willing to speak to a journalist, can you please email me your contact details so I can pass them on? Accuracy is key to good coverage, and good coverage will lead to changes, as well as hopefully, justice for the little girl. Otheroman@gmail.com Thanks in advance.

The Children's Museum: I have been taking the kid to the children's museum once or twice a month for quite a while now. It costs like 300 Baiza for the two of us, and we generally have a blast. We usually have the place entirely to ourselves, although today there were two other families there.

The Exhibits are generally aimed at the 6-12 age group, however my 3 year old really enjoys the place. Although most of what we talk about goes over her head, some of it is sinking in already. Her favorite things are the shadow room, the hot air Balloon, and the awesome, hands-on diorama of the human body. She can name all the major organs now, and even explain what most of them do. Neat!

The children's museum is located in those two dome shaped thingies in Qurm, at the bottom of the hill where Mumtaz Mahal and Left Bank are located. It's open mornings, from like 08:30 to 13:30.

We usually follow up a trip to the Museum with lunch at either Pane Caldo, in Shatti (Excellent Children's Menu) or, if I feel the need to spend truly vast quantities of my husband's money, a trip to Cafe Ceramiqe in Al Araimi complex.

Andy In Oman did a really thorough blog post about what's on offer at the Museum, you can read his take on it here. He took a lot of pictures.

General stuff from here

2010-03-14T09:25:00.000+04:00

First off, regarding my last post about the little girl drowning at Marina Bandar Rawdah on Friday. My Blog got an unprecedented amount of traffic yesterday, by like a factor of ten. Either because we all like to watch a car crash, or because we are all amazed at how easy it is to accidently kill a kid in a pool, I don't know. I have received some feedback, in the form of polite emails that the woman in the Abaya who performed CPR on the girl was not Omani, but British, and that the kid's lips were not that blue when the paramedics scooped her up, and that I was remiss in not naming the nationality of the kid that drowned.

If there were omissions or mistakes in my account of what happened, I sincerely oppologise. In my defense, this is a Personal Weblog, not a medical journal, and I am not a professional journalist, I'm just a mom, who writes a blog. What I saw and observed were my observations alone, and different people, who were closer to the action, will have differing accounts of what happened.

None of this changes the fact that there is a kid in a Coma, who was repeatedly failed by the people who should have kept her safe, especially her Parents, but also the unprepared, un-equipped, untrained Marina management, and nearby adults, myself included.

Moving on to less interesting, but slightly more positive stuff, a few random thoughts regarding the Kids, and Stone.

Yesterday, the kid skipped her nap, and instead spent the afternoon playing outside on the water-slide with a visiting friend. How lovely that she is finally old enough to have friends, and even lovelier that unlike me at her age, she actually HAS friends. One can only assume she got her charm and confidence from Stone.

You may remember when I blogged about people who go over speed bumps like they are in a Lamborghini even though they drive a Honda accord? Well, in the interest of transparency, you should know that Stone is one of those guys who creeps over the really big speed bumps at 2kmh at a 45 degree angle. In his defense, although we do not own a Lamborghini (Yet?) he does drive a low slung sports car and the crappy Ruwi-Special exhaust scrapes if he doesn't. I need to buy him a proper exhaust system for his birthday. Or maybe a 2010 Camero.

On a Similar vein, you might be interested to know that should Stone and I ever divorce, or Murder one another in a fit of rage, the dispute will, without a doubt, have begun over the issue of where to park. Stone likes to park close in, even if it means that I have to climb out the window because of the skinny space he's wedged us into. It drives me crazy, the big kids and I even have a song we sing when stone is parking. To the tune of the Missing Persons smash hit "Walking in LA" we sing "Walking when you're Stone, Walking when you're Sto-one... No-Body Walks When you're Stone!" We think we are hilarious.

Our Son is returning from his overseas academic adventures in three week's time. I cannot begin to tell you how highly his return is being anticipated. His little sister is over the moon.

My Mom made Brazilian Black beans and rice with Farofa, and hearts of palm salad for dinner on friday. It was Wicked Good. Don't-Cha wish your Mommy could cook like mine? Don't Cha'?

And in news of Technology, I am the proud and happy owner of a brand New HTC Nexus 1 Phone, or Google phone to all you noobs out there. It is so pretty, and so expensive, and so complex, and does all this stuff I can't even dream of understanding, that I am afraid to turn it on. It's sitting in it's box, staring at me right now. Help.

That's it from here, more soon.

Parents, Watch your children

2010-03-12T16:38:00.010+04:00

*Update: The little girl died a week later. Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajioon (we belong to Allah and to Him we return)*

I watched a little girl drown today, in the Pool at Marina Bandar Rowdah. I think she was about 8 years old, with long brown hair, a cute smile, and creamy, light brown skin.

She drowned right in front of me, right beside my swimming, breathing, squealing daughter, there, in the shallow end of the pool, where she could have just stood up, in her little white panties. Eyes wide open, arms drifting restlessly, hair splayed around her head, and a flotilla of bubbles leaking from her nose and mouth.

The last I saw of her she was being carried away, with blue lips, and a blue face, in the blue clad arms of the responding Paramedics. I heard they managed to get her back in the Ambulance, but as she was not breathing for 15+ minutes, I suspect there is a chance of brain damage. Maybe she died, I don't know.

I, for my part, watched her drown, and didn't realise what was happening. Drowning in real life looks absolutely nothing like what you, or I might imagine it to. There was no screaming, no thrashing, no splashing. There was just this gorgeous little girl, swimming gracefully around under water, slowly drowning, there in the shallow end of the pool.

It's my fault as much as it is anyones. The little drowning girl swam over to my daughter, and grabbed her, trying to pull herself up, or as my daughter and I perceived it, pulling my daughter under. My daughter yelped, screamed, and then the kid let go, and rolled over in the water, facing me. She looked right at me, eyes wide as dinner plates, and face placid and calm.

I, dismissing what was going on as standard-issue pool roughhousing, looked at this placid faced, underwater, eyes wide open child, and she looked back at me, locked eyes with me, and I didn't see it. I, asshole that I am, wagged my finger at the drowning, dying kid, and said (in a scolding voice that I'm sure she couldn't hear, being under water, and fucking drowning) "don't do that!" It never even crossed my mind that she might be drowning.

Distracted, by my daughter's yelping about something or other, gathered my kid up, and took her over to our table to strip off her water wings and get her changed to go home. As I gathered her up, I looked into the pool, and there was the girl, floating about a foot beneath the surface, bend over sort of backwards in the water, eyes staring at the sky, and little bubbles rising from her nose and mouth. And I thought to myself, "kids are so universally weird. I used to do that!" and then, wait for it. I WALKED AWAY. I walked away.

About a minute later all hell broke loose, when a friend noticed that the little girl was no longer swimming around under water, but was laying motionless on the bottom of the pool, eyes wide open.

I don't know if her parents were even aware that she was in the pool. They were sitting at the next table over to Stone, facing the Marina, not the pool. I don't know if the kid could swim, or not. I don't know if something else happened to her that precipitated the drowning. I do know that the kid was in the pool splashing around, and then drowning, for 15 minutes or more and that there was not a parent nearby, directly supervising.

There were 5-8 Adults in the pool at the time, and about 20-30 kids of varying sizes swimming around, screaming, laughing, jumping, fighting over toys, and splashing. There were maybe another 12 parents / adults watching the pool and kids, or sitting nearby. Not one of us realized the kid was drowning.

The Marina Staff were beyond useless. Flailing around, continuing to take orders for food, and standing by staring, as this little girl lay on the deck, not breathing, and various customers attempted to take control. A couple of Expat Women started CPR, and rolled the girl over on her side when she vomited. A guest in an Abaya came over and took over CPR, while other guests and staff from the some of the dive boats ran for their medical kit stored on the boats.

The Resuscitation equipment, when it arrived, came not from the marina, but from one of the Diving outfits who have boats at the Marina. The Marina staff, while well meaning, were totally clueless as to what to do about it. I pulled one of the senior guys aside about five minutes after they dragged the girl out of the pool, and asked if anyone had called an ambulance. he said, "No Need, those people over there are doing CPR?" I think I swore at him, then we called the ambulance. they showed up in ten minutes or so, it was a pretty fast response.

The Marina has plenty of signage pointing pointing out that swimming is at your own risk, and that they are not responsible for supervising your actions in the pool. The Marina does not have a lifeguard on duty, and I don't really think it would have changed anything, as there were so many people in the pool and so many kiddies running around. I don't think having a life guard would save many lives as it would only enable parents to pay even less attention to their children.

That said, the Marina did not appear to have any life saving equipment on hand near the pool, nor did they have any staff who are competent and CPR trained nearby. The little girl is only alive (or dead?) thanks to the heroics of the customers and the staff from a local dive company. It is pretty Obvious that the Marina has not drilled their staff on how to respond to a drowning incident or any other medical emergency. While I suspect that they do indeed have staff trained in CPR and first response, they were nowhere near where they were needed during the critical 15-20 minutes of the crisis.

My daughter has marks on her butt and thighs where the little girl grabbed her. It's unsettling. She keeps asking what happened to the girl. I don't have answers that go beyond the strictly scientific explanations of CPR and how drowning happens. How do you explain that to a three year old? As for me, I have the picture of the kid looking right at me, eyes locked onto mine, while I scolded her for trying to save herself.

Parents, watch your children.

Regarding commenting: While I understand that it isn't my fault, I cannot begin to tell you what a total asshole I feel like. I really fucked this one up, I just totally missed it. I already know I am an Asshole, so i don't need to hear it from you, and likewise, don't need to have a bunch of sunshine blown up my ass by well meaning friends. Cool?

Menu Planning for the Aspiring Domestic Goddess

2010-03-07T15:37:00.000+04:00

I didn't want to do this Blog post, but Stone said you guys would be interested. It's his fault if you find this intensely boring. OK?

So, I'm in Week 2 of planning out dinner menus for the upcoming week. I kid you not when I say it is going unbelievably well. We have already saved a fortune in wasted food, and about 14 trips to the store to acquire missing ingredients.

I thought I would share the menus for the first two weeks, and show you where I am getting the ideas from.

Since I know how to cook already, I really just need ideas, and maybe a picture to inspire me. My favorite recipe idea site is www.myrecipes.com which aggregates all the recipes published in Sunset, Southern Living, Cooking Light, Coastal Living, and Real Simple magazines. The pictures are lovely, and I can browse about a million ideas and make my own menu plan for the week. I also like www.allrecipes.com

Here are the first two week's worth of Menu plans.

Week 1:

Broiled salmon with a lemon and parsley sauce, fancy-ass potatoes, and grilled asparagus.
Lemon Chicken stir fry with red peppers, Bok-choi and whole wheat noodles
Chicken Parmesan with Orso, marinara, and broccoli
BBQ flank Steak with garlic roasted green beans, octopus salad, and garlic bread
Rare roasted Lamb and tomato sandwich on grilled chibatta with Blueberry crumble dessert.
Chicken and healthy summer veggie tostadas with salsa, guacamole and sour cream

Week 2:

Flank Steak and balsamic roasted cherry tomato sandwiches on grilled ciabatta with grilled potatoes
Seared Lamb chops with fresh mint and pea risotto
Creamy Beef stroganof with egg yolk pasta and steamed Asparagus
Chicken fried Steak with buttermilk biscuits, gravy, peas and corn
Brazilian Black beans and rice with fresh salsa and baked bananas
Garlic grilled prawns with Sauteed Broccoli and astonishingly expensive potatoes

Once I have decided on the Menu for the week, I make my shopping list based on that menu. I keep A lot of stuff on hand in the pantry and in the deep freeze, so my weekly shop does not always include staples or meat.

Here is my shopping list for last week, it includes everything I will need for the dinners, plus some of the staples we use for other meals and Snacks around here

Omani cherry tomatoes
Ciabatta or other sexy bread
Omani Mushrooms
Egg pasta
sour cream
Rocket
mint
corriander
Baby asparagus
watermelon
bananas
Extra fruit if it looks good
frozen peas and corn (Watties!)
fresh herbs if they are nice
lemons
OJ
Black beans (canned)
1 cuke
red and yellow peppers
lamb chops
chicken broth
parmesan
Sibou Prawns
whole meal sliced bread
laban
eggs
fancy potatoes
broccoli
frozen blueberries
flank steak
Dates
cookies
Juice (Big and Small)
Whole meal flour (stone ground, extra strong)
olive oil for cooking ans XVO for dressings
Jam and Marmalade

I try to do a quick check of the pantry and the freezer to see if I am running low on any staples such as sugar, coffee, vinegar, anchovies, etc.. and add them to my list. I usually sop at Sultan Center, with occasional trips to Al Fair (hideously expensive potatoes, Popsicles) or Carrefour (Duck Confit, pretentious cheeses)

So far I'm really happy with how it's worked out. We are eating healthier, and I only have to face the grocery store once a week if I'm lucky. Stone is delighted, because he really loves a home cooked meal, and having a slightly less surly wife.

Crime at PDO, Part 2

2010-03-05T15:32:00.002+04:00

So, having read my last Post, you might well be saying, seriously? You might be asking how on earth can there have been ten home robberies and three cars stolen in four months from what is supposedly the most secure areas of Muscat? Because PDO Camp has Security, right?

If you are like anyone else who I have discussed this with you will say "I know the camp has gates at all the road entrances, why don't they just close the freaking gates at night, and control or monitor access to the camp? Because that's almost as obvious as reminding people to lock their flimsy-ass doors." Right?

Wrong. PDO camp has some very important neighbors. Royal family, Powerful business men, and Government Ministers who like to use the camp as a short-cut. In particular, Her Excellency, the Minister of Tourism lives next door to one of the gates, and has, according to my sources, made it abundantly clear that her convenience should not be impeded by concerns related to the security of lesser life forms. How neighborly.

I hasten to point out, that PDO roads are public roads, and everyone, rich, poor, Omani or Expat is welcome to come and enjoy the quiet ambiance afforded on the camp, and have a swim, a family picnic or a BBQ at the lovely public beach. The access gates, in good times, serve as a handy short cut for anybody who wants to come to PDO and hang out, as well as for camp residents and various services and contractors. They have over the last ten years, been opened and closed due to various security issues, some of them theft related, some of them more sinister.

Moving on, the minister has lived just outside of the PDO camp for many, many years. Indeed, I believe the very gate she lives next to was installed at her request back when she was serving on the Board of Directors to PDO, as it would make her commute that much easier.

Anyway, here's the most interesting part* While serving on the PDO board of directors, she also managed to convince PDO to give her a slice of camp property adjacent to her current house. The present value of the land would I think be in the vicinity of about half a million rials, though I could be overestimating. The land was not offered in some sort of lottery, giving anyone a fair opportunity to acquire it, it was just, "gifted" by the government and PDO. Not Illegal, but extraordinarily unethical, to say the least.

To be fair, it wasn't a huge slice, something in the vicinity of 1,200 Square Meters. It was already adjacent to her house, and it wasn't like anyone was doing anything with the property at the time anyway. at that time it was just some extraordinarily valuable and unused vacant land.

More than ten years since the land was gifted, construction has finally commenced, adjacent to her original home, on a massive house. It looks a lot like what would happen if Frank Lloyd Wright were commissioned to design a small minimum security prison. It is astonishingly ugly, but perhaps when it is complete we will see the underlying genius.

You might ask, why does the camp even matter? Robberies will help convince the current residents to move, which is a good thing! Because as you are no doubt already aware, PDO camp is going to be plowed under soon to make way for affordable housing, world-class charter schools for talented Omani youngsters, public beaches and recreation centers for underprivileged Omanis and that's the sort of thing we can all stand behind!

Just Kidding!!! the Camp, under demands from the Ministry of Tourisim, is going to be plowed under to create a Mega tourism development consisting of six hotels, a marina, a golf course, thousands of Luxury freehold villas, and various upscale businesses.

So there's another victory for the common man.

* credit to Mr. Dragon at Muscat Confedential for blogging about the land grab issue in the first place. You can read his take on it here

Crime, Again, specifically PDO crime

2010-03-03T17:36:00.002+04:00

If you live here in Muscat, you are likely aware of the existence of the Petroleum Development Oman (PDO) camp. The PDO camp is a housing compound for senior PDO staff, both Omani and Expatriate. It's a 6 square kilometer slice of 1975, alive and kicking in the heart of Al Qurm. It's an absolutely gorgeous little community, with sidewalks, tree lined streets, and teeny tiny houses sitting on well manicured lots. It's a bit like Aramco in Saudi, and really really similar to Awali in Bahrain.

The Camp was built in the early 70's and consists of four or five types of small bungalow or town home type houses, interspersed with apartments and serviced bachelor accommodation. Unlike Aramco, PDO camp is open to the public, and they maintain a public beach which is open to anyone, next door to where the SAF club used to be. It's a really popular place for people from all over muscat to drive, exercise, picnic or hang out and watch the world go by.

One of the things that makes the camp so charming, and makes it such a desirable place to live, is the fact that unlike the rest of muscat, the houses are not secured behind giant, individual spiked walls. The whole place feels welcoming, friendly and safe. If you have not been to PDO, I encourage you to go and enjoy a walk through the neighborhoods, and a chat with the local residents. I wish all of Muscat were planned as well as PDO was.

Unfortunately, just like in all of Muscat, things are changing. The PDO camp has been the scene of 10 house robberies and 3 car thefts in the last four months. Most of these have occured while the victims were at home, asleep, in the house.

I can understand if you, the reader who lives in a shithole like North Al Ghubra, feel unsympathetic. Who the fuck are these guys to be living in the best real estate in the entire country, simply by virtue of where they work? but I don't think anybody should have to feel so totally unsafe in their own homes.

The response from PDO management has thus far been appalling. In an email forwarded to me, Mohammed, the head of Security for PDO pretty much said that what's happening on camp is normal for muscat, it's probably the housemaids, and that the staff who live off camp don't get security enhancements, so why should the staff who live on camp? I have to say, If i was in his Job, and this stuff was happening on my watch, I would resign, providing the guys in charge hadn't fired me by now.

Anyway, all of this Prompted me to ask, what exactly is normal for Muscat. Thanks to an alert commenter on another Blog, I was able to access the fantastic annual yearbook produced by the Ministry of National Economy, which includes, Joy! crime statistics.

Feel free to look at the report yourself, it's here: http://www.moneoman.gov.om/book/syb2009cd/fscommand/english/social.htm

I had a look, and here's what I found. This crime rate is NOT NORMAL.

In summary:
The incidence of recent burglaries in PDO are ~400% higher than in the Muscat region for 2008.

The incidence of car thefts in PDO are ~1500% higher than in the Muscat region for 2008

Data on ROP convictions indicate it is 2-3 times more likely that these crimes are being committed by Omanis than by Expats.

PDO Houses are by design far less secure than equivalent houses outside camp.

Many recent house intrusions have been while residents are asleep in the house. This is rare elsewhere and indicates a significant risk to people, not just property.

Want to know the details? Read below.

From information provided by camp residents, there have been at least 10 house robberies and 3 cars stolen from PDO camp in the 4 month period between 1st November and 1st March.

For the entirety of the Muscat Governate, the total number of robberies reported to the police in 2008 was 4,085 (this includes car break ins, wallet thefts, and other types of petty theft). The number of Car thefts reported in 2008 was 340.

The total number of housing Units on PDO camp, including apartments, is 447 units. Being generous and assuming 4 occupants per unit of housing, the population of Ras al Hamra is assumed to be just under 1,800 people.

The total population of the Governate of Muscat in 2008 was 834,760, with a population density of 214 people per square km, PDO camp has a somewhat comparable population density of 294 per square km. The Muscat Governate stretches from past Al Hail, all the way down the coast beyond Quriat.

For the sake of comparison, we took the total numbers for crime from 2008 in Muscat Governate, and divided by 3 to get a representative sample covering an equivalent 4 month period of time.

Based on total area, population density, the number of people, and the reported crimes in Muscat and RAH, residents of PDOCamp are 4.8 times more likely than the average person in Muscat to be the victim of a robbery, and 17 times more likely to have a car stolen than elsewhere in Muscat. Going by population alone, residents of PDO camp are 3.4 times more likely to suffer a robbery, and 12 times more likely to have their car stolen.

Even if the crime over the last four months is the only crime all year, PDO camp is still significantly above the ANNUAL average for all of Muscat. Regarding the use of 2008 statistics; I find it hard to believe that there has been a massive wave of burglary and car theft causing the statistics for the entirety of Muscat to expand by 5X and 17 X respectively.

It's worth noting that during 2008, Expatriates were convicted of robbery 390 times, and Omanis were convicted of robbery 674 times. Expatriates were convicted of car theft 11 times, whereas Omanis were convicted of car theft 36 times. One can conclude from these conviction statistics for 2008 that statistically it is 2-3 times more likely that the crimes are being committed by Omanis. Given these numbers, the idea that the housemaids and gardeners are behind all the thefts is possible, but unlikely.

More on this subject tomorrow, where we will discuss why the obvious solutions to this situation are not being employed, and revisit the issue of the Minister of Tourism and how she got the prime real estate on which she is building her new house.

It's related, I promise.

Poll: Theft in Muscat

2010-03-01T16:12:00.004+04:00

Ladies, Gentlemen, and Others,

I have a really important favor to ask of you. Could Every single Muscat based person who reads this blog please make a comment on this post?

Local Bloggers, would you mind linking to this post so I can get as much anecdotal information as possible?

It's important, if not slightly unscientific.

Could you all please proceed to the comments section and tell me how many of your friends, neighbors, coworkers or family have had their cars stolen or houses broken into since December 1st, and if so, in which neighborhood the break in Occurred? If you don't know anyone who has been robbed, please comment that.

Here are some examples:

"We don't know anyone who has been robbed recently (Al Hail)"

"My cousin had his car stolen in late January from Ghubra"

"Three Co-Workers who live in Al Ansab were broken into over the last three months"

"We had an Attempted break in, but my brother caught them. Al Ghubra"

"I live in Qurm, and I know 25 of neighbours, loosing 3 cars since Dec 1st"

I have turned off word verification, and as always, you may post completley anonymously. Thanks in Advance for your help!

Toddler Photography

2010-02-28T15:01:00.006+04:00

When Stone and I went to Detroit in November, we purchased a Fisher-Price Digital Camera for the kid. It cost something horrendous, like $45 USD but that's a lot cheaper than replacing her grandfather's Nikon D80. Designed so any 2 year old can understand and use it, It's made of Sturdy, water resistant and shock-proof rubber and plastic, and has survived a few trips down the stairs.

Best of all, It did not come with some sort of totally fucking stupid disney-tastic crap software for downloading the photos. I use a USB cable, and treat it like a memory card. It's perfect.

The quality of the photos leaves a lot to be desired, but it's been fascinating seeing what the kid has been taking photos of, and seeing how she sees the world. She takes about 200 photos a week, the self portraits are the most interesting. Below are a few example's from this week's pictures.

Things That are Important to a 3 Year Old: A Triptych

Fish

The Television

The Rocking Horse "Flicka"

Our Second Series Highlights things you see a lot of when you are Two Feet tall.

Legs and Feet: a Visual Journey into the World of Toddlers

And to conclude our Exhibition:

The Most Important Things in the Entire World;

A photographic essay on Unwanted Wadi Cats.

If you have a Toddler, I cannot recommend highly enough the purchase of a Kid-Safe digital camera. We have had an Absolute Blast with it.

On Identity, Mistaken and Otherwise

2010-02-26T10:15:00.006+04:00

It's Been an Interesting week on the Identity front.

Recent Cases of Mistaken Identity:

Those of you who don't know me will find the following amusing, those of you who do know me will find it hilarious. I was sitting next to the pool the other day, watching the kid swimming. I was wearing a pirate bandanna, a light long sleeved top, blue jeans, and cowboy boots. I am sipping a Icy Cold Pint of Heinekin. A woman comes over and says, "Wouldn't you rather be in the pool? aren't you hot?" and I'm all, " I'm not really much of a swimmer, and anyway, I don't want to get cold" We chatted about this and that, the kids, etc... and as she walked away, she said "I don't know you Muslim women do it. Being all covered up like that" I think she had me confused for someone else... someone far more pious than I am.
Three times in the last week, someone has called me by the name of my former boss, or assigned her last name to me. Like "Suburban Al Zubair" for Example. We look a lot alike, and when we were working together, we were really inseparable.... But, I don't think she wants to be affiliated with me, and I'm perfectly happy being a Non-Wastafarian, and using my Non-Wastafarian Husband's Last name. Any advice on how to extricate myself from this particular association is welcomed. Likewise, and advice on how to have a lot of fun with this increasingly common mistake is welcomed as well.

On the Subject of My former boss... Despite all the insane shit in the company, and the total Friendship shut-down when I resigned, I miss her, and miss whatever questionable friendship we shared. How pathetic am I, Seriously?

On the subject of Social Media, I attended another Tweet-Up over the Weekend, and had a great time talking to (Talking At?) everyone there. You can Add road Safety and the 1979 Siege of the Grand Mosque in Makkah to the already comprehensive list of issues which I seem to be able to discuss at length with virtual strangers. Everyone was really polite, despite the no doubt crazed look in my eyes. It was a great event, overall, but I came away having learned a really important lesson in the reality of maintaining Semi Anonymity and a separation between my online or public persona, and my private, or real persona.

I Blog Semi-Anonymously not because I'm unwilling to stand behind the things I write. I blog Semi-anonymously because I need to protect my family from the sort of Wackos who send hate-mail and death threats, and the sort of Religious Nut-Jobs at Stone's work who would like to get him in trouble for the things I choose to write.

Having received One death threat, and the occasional threatening Nasty-Gram, I am selective about to whom I reveal my name, contact details, and identity, even more so where my family is concerned. I, (and now Stone) have unfortunately been outed, through my own carelessness, or via misunderstood implied consent, three times in the last few months. Stone is Absolutely Fucking Livid, and rightly so. Even the neighbors could hear him shouting this morning. He's pissed, because my dorky blogging and twitter habit shouldn't effect him.

You guys don't know the Kid's real names, and you don't know Stone's Real name. This is important to me because it's their privacy, and their safety. If I wanted them referred to by their real names online or in public, I would call them by their real names. So, Internet and social media Whiz-Kids out there, If I don't refer to myself or my family by their real names online, NEITHER SHOULD YOU. That is totally basic, elementary level Internet blogging and Twitter Etiquette.

It's fair to point out that I should be more careful about whom I share any identifying details with, and that I should, obviously, spell out my expectations regarding how my information is shared when the online and offline worlds collide. As a result, I'm tidying up my twitter stream, and editing down some blog posts which give away more information than I feel comfortable having in the public sphere at this time. Something I should have done a long time ago.

Guys, How do you balance the amount of personal information available about you online. Were is your risk/ reward bar set for being personally identifiable online?

Open Letter to Young Men in Inexpensive Cars

2010-02-23T15:53:00.001+04:00

Subject: Speed Bumps

Dear Young Man in a Clapped Out Toyota Corolla,

Driving over every speed bump in a painstakingly slow manner, while crossing into opposing traffic to complete your undercarriage saving Zig Zag Maneuver, is totally unnecessary given that your car has at least a foot of ground clearance from the wheels.

Driving a POS Sedan like that does not say "My other car is a Lamborghini." It says "I am a tosser with even less money than I have brains." Please modify your driving habits accordingly.

Kindest Regards,

Your friends at Other Oman.

News From Abu Dhabi

2010-02-22T16:15:00.004+04:00

Hi Guys. How was your weekend? Mine was great, thanks for asking!

I Spent the weekend in Abu Dhabi, working for the organizers of the Aussie V8 Supercar race Meeting. It was extraordinarily fun. The V8 supercars are an Australian Championship that travels outside Australia for two rounds in the Middle East, Abu Dhabi and Bahrain. They race either Ford or Holden (Chevy) 5 litre V8's and they run on Ethanol, not Unleaded or Racefuel.

Best of all all the teams are Australian. You heard me right, 32 teams made up of beefy, handsome, Australian Mechanics. It's like being invited to manage the convention of sexy underwear models, if you are a man, except underwear models can't fix your car.

You might be pleased to know that I resisted the temptation to slick them all up in motor oil, throw them in an empty swimming pool, and then dive in and start rolling around. Stone certainly was.

Going to AUH is always interesting, for a lot of reasons. In convenient Bullet point form, some highlights and lowlights from last weekend.

The Abu Dhabi "Travelers Welcome" Campaign is too fantastic for words. The Imagery is really moving.
The new airport can't be ready soon enough. The place was heaving with people.
AUH is spending money faster than they can print it, and the resulting bonanza of jobs, combined with the perception that a White person is better for a job than a Brown person, has lead to a real Glut of absolutely useless chancers finding themselves in positions for which they would never in a million years be qualified for in their home countries.
The resulting Ego boost to them has made many into completely insufferable twats.
I was astonished at the level of racisim and condescension displayed by some of my co workers. It's not OK to abuse the coffee boy just to make yourself feel more important.
The Emirati's I dealt with were generally really great. THe track has a Volunteer scheme where Emiratis can volunteer as tour guides, VIP escorts, etc... All the Local I saw in those roles were really working hard, and the ladies looked stunning in their mis america style sashes that said "volunteer" Draped over the Abaya.

Speaking of Style, some of the Emirati girls who are employed by the circuit have had personalised abayas made with the circuit logo on them in glittery crystals and perfect embroidery. They looked so fantastic that I, and a few of the other girls have ordered some for ourselves.
Things were extremely social. Despite 14 hour working days, everyone partied until the wee hours most Nights. Many, Many pints of beer were consumed catching up on what everyone has been doing, and the latest scandals and gossip.
I've been working with and for most of these guys for the last six years, and there is a certain comfort and intimacy that comes with that. I hardly have a real friend in Muscat, but I have 10-15 people who are true blue friends in the UAE, through work. I feel privileged to be a part of such a cohesive, fun loving and unpretentious core team.

That's all I can think of for now. I'[m attempting to plan my weekly meals, (with the help of the internet) and shop just once a week. I'll be updating on how that works out next week. Maybe.

Hope you enjoy the upcoming holiday.

My Q&A with the Times Of Oman

2010-02-17T02:20:00.001+04:00

I thought I would publish the content of my interview with the TOO here as well, if only because I really enjoyed answering the questions, and thinking about the answers. Although I didn't feature much in the actual article,it was a neat project, and I'm really proud of the Journalist who wrote it. I would imagine it took some balls to convince the guys in charge to even touch the subject of blogging. The second and final installment in the series was published in today's TOO. Please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors, they are entirely mine.

1) As someone who has lived in places that afford more freedom than Oman, how do you reconcile to the lack of freedom of expression here? I was born in Saudi, and spent most of my childhood listening to my mom describe the kind of restrictions on expression that existed in Saudi in the 70's. Moving here, it was a pleasant surprise to see that the personal freedom of expression, while severely constrained, is nowhere near as bad as Saudi. That said there is a lot of room for improvement, and I think the government is failing massively in helping to grow a truly free press, or a truly free society where people can think and say what they want. I find the recent arrests trials and questionings of journalists and forum moderators here to be extremely worrying, as well as the blatantly cowardly self censorship that the press applies to itself in Oman. I worry that as dissenting voices continue to be silenced, and as people grow more and more accustomed to never hearing anything Bad about the country that we will end up living in a real world parable where the emperor really does have no clothes, and nobody is willing to get up there and say it.

2) You're extremely balanced and mostly objective in your view of things that you decide to discuss and critique. Thanks. I really try hard, but often my own bias shines through. It's important to be somewhat objective, or the message one is trying to communicate will fall on deaf, hostile ears.

3) How long have you lived in Oman? Almost my entire adult life.

4) Are you completely unrestrained in your blog? Or do you exercise caution so as to not offend anyone? I am completely unconstrained in my Blog. I can write whatever I feel like. I do exercise some self censorship, in that there are some stories that would only cause trouble if given publicity. I recently chose not to post on an issue being stirred up in Muscat that was very similar to the Sudanese Teddy Bear Named Mohammed Saga. There were a bunch of attention seeking religious nut-jobs with their Wizzars in a knot over something completely innocuous. As much as I wanted to name and shame them and tell the wider community what a bunch of overzealous fanatics they were, it would only achieve giving them the attention they desperately craved, while potentially blowing up a story that was better off remaining buried, for the sake of the country, and the people involved.

5) Have you ever gotten into trouble because of any entry? No, although sometimes my mom or dad are surprised by some of the stuff I write. Mom will call me and say "Sweetheart, I love you, but don't think you should be putting things like that on your blog..."

6) How do Omanis respond to your posts? Generally very positively. I have had one veiled death threat, and the occasional Nasty-Gram but that's about it. What is interesting is that the posts which have generated the most Hate Mail were the ones where I used the relative death toll in Palestine and compared it to the death toll on the roads here, and another series where I talked about Human Trafficking and Prostitution in Oman. I got massively flamed via email for it. Like, are we all so coddled that we cannot even talk about the blatantly obvious, and the blatantly true, in honest terms, using numbers and figures? It's worth pointing out that the vast majority of my Hate Mail comes from Western Expatriates living here. Some of those women really hate me.

7) Is your blog a place for venting or do you use it to bring about some change, however minimal. Mostly it's for venting. I sincerely wish my Blog had the power to change big things here, and maybe someday it will. I think Blogging in Oman is important because it has the opportunity to shine light on subjects that the Print and broadcast media cannot. Some good examples were the leaking of the documents from the ministry of education showing the various kids of Wastafarians were getting Scholarships to study overseas, although they did not earn them. Another good Example was the publicizing of how the Mimister of Tourisim (Ex PDO board of directors) obtained the land on which she is building her new house, and the attempted Land Grab going on right now between the MOT and the Capital Area Yacht club. I think the government needs to know they are being watched, and that a lot of people are tired of the corruption and opaque way that business is done here. Every minister and undersecretary in the country should have the following tattooed across their heads after they are appointed. "Just because you are important, does not mean that your failures cannot be criticized, and your decisions questioned"

8) How has your experience been within the blogosphere here in Oman? It's a generally supportive group, we try to fact-check for one another, and publicize important issues when they are blogged about elsewhere. It's still the domain of the Upper Middle class, Young, Western-Educated Omani, with a significant number of blogs written by overseas Expatriates. I'm excited to see a lot of recent growth in local blogging, both in English and Arabic.

9) Are you firmly anonymous or do people mostly know who you are? I'm Semi-anonymous. I change locations and other facts to obscure my identity from complete strangers, but if you were a personal acquaintance and you read my blog, you would know almost immediately it was me.

10) Have you seen any tangible fallouts of what you've posted any time? Good Question. Not much, The story about the flooded and wrecked US spec cars being imported over here and resold as New was a good one, that I think helped protect some local buyers. The ting I posted about the tecent Nawras Twitter Fail may have significant fall out for the guy who was managing the account. I hope that some of the people in higher positions read these blogs and are more careful where opaque decisions are concerned. I would like to think I have helped the Omani Blogging community to be a little bolder in what they choose to publish, but maybe that's just arrogance on my part.

11) Do you speak/read arabic? Really Badly. The guy who created Google Translate should win a Nobel Prize.

12) When you began, did you have any ambitions for the blog? I wanted to try and keep my Sanity intact after giving birth to my youngest daughter.

13) Have you met them? One episode of Psychiatric counselling aside, yes.

14) How important, or not, is The Other Oman to you? It's not that important. It's just a way to pass the time

Local Media Highlights

2010-02-16T08:41:00.004+04:00

Boring Post today, as I'm packing for a weekend in Abu Dhabi, Working the Aussie V8 meeting. I really need a dose of Vroom. I'll try to take pictures and write down some notes so I can blog about it when I get back.

Just a couple of Local Print media and Blogging highlights for you to chew on over the weekend.

First Up, local weekly rag Y ran an article about a child being the victim of a hit and run by a Quad Biker on Athaiba beach last week. They are appealing for anyone with information about it to come forward. I am really getting fed up with the menace that Quad biking kids and young adults are posing on the roads and on the beaches. It's really sad and cowardly that the ROP and other authorities are doing nothing about it. It's not particularly surprising, given what happened the last time the ROP tried to stop a couple of kids on Quad Bikes.

For those of you who are not familiar with the story, A few years ago two teenage kids were racing on Quad bikes, and the ROP tried to stop them. The kids ran, and the ROP gave chase. In thier haste to escape, the kids on the Quads blew through a red light, and were killed instantly by a big car driven by (oh, The Irony) another unlicensed Teenager joyriding. It was tragic for the parents and families of everyone concerned. Bur guess what, The ROP guys were the ones blamed for the accident, not the adults who allowed the kids unsupervised access to the Quads.

It's time to require Manditory registration and Liscencing for Quad Bikes, and time for the ROP to pull their collective fingers out of their asses and start enforcing the law.

A silver star to Muscat Daily for being the only Media outlet in Oman to attempt to publish something factual regarding the Toyota Recall, and if it affects cars here in Oman. I believe they even got a Waffley quote from some guy from Bahwan. Now, to get your gold star, publist the obvious article expressing some outrage at the lack of communication coming from Bahwan regarding the recalls. Bahwan Deserves a hard slap.

Next up, an unhappy journalist or editor from Muscat Daily Lashes out at Muscat Confidential after being criticized for running PR drivel under her own Byline on the FRONT PAGE. I am deeply amused... Hand Bags at 20 paces ladies.

Lastly, the Times Of Oman, a newspaper known mostly for it's mediocrity, nut-ball letters to the editor, and anti Zionist rants from the Editor in Chief has gone and done something really fantastic. They have interviewed a bunch of local bloggers including many who have been critical of TOO in the past, and discusses (Very Gently) the concept of personal freedom of expression, and Blogging as a source of information. I'm genuinely proud of the reporter, who I think took a big risk in writing the two part article. I think the second part will be published tomorrow.

And from the I am an Asshole Department: Despite my frequent rants regarding the quality of press releases and corporate drivel published verbatim in the papers here, some of you might be interested to know that the Drivel-tastic press release I sent out last week was picked up by a Whopping NO ONE. Yes, I am enjoying my humble pie, thanks for asking.

Have a great weekend Muscat. Look after the place while I'm gone.

The Security Guys are watching too much TV

2010-02-10T14:31:00.003+04:00

The security guys have been rather subdued of late, for reasons I don't understand. I almost never get break dancing demonstrations on my way to work anymore, and nobody has collectively referred to me, my children and mother as "Stone's Bitches" in ages. I was beginning to wonder if they didn't like me anymore.

I needn't have feared, because today they really outdid themselves.

Driving toward the checkpoint this morning, the guys recognized my car and raised the barrier while I was still 100 meters away. Awesome. as I approach the guard house, all of a sudden the door to the guard house flies open and the security guys perform the most amazing series of rolling, jumping, special ops type moves I have ever seen outside of action movies. They looked like the penguins from Madagascar, where they are about to hijack the ship.

I Lock my brakes up, and squeal to a halt, as they reach for their holsters, pull out their weapons, and open fire on me. Thankfully, their weapons were 4 staplers, shooting out little bitty staples which tinkled off the hood of my car as the guards collapsed in a heap of laughing snorting, brown uniform wearing hilarity.

"Suburban! We are ambush you!"

"Suburban! I am James Bond!"

"Hey Suburban! mamma Said Knock you ouuuut!!!"

"Nice one guys, you'll be promoted ISS in no time with skills like that."

I love those guys, they made my day.

Corporate marketing via social media. It's not as easy as it looks.

2010-02-08T14:11:00.014+04:00

How many of you have heard of Twitter?

In brief, it's a Micro-blogging site where you share what's going on RIGHT NOW in 14o letters and spaces or less. It's a little bit like what would happen if Blogger shagged a chat room. If you are lucky, your Tweets will be replied to, or if they are interesting enough, Retweeted by your followers to their followers. This is useful if, for example, you are looking for a stolen car, or if you want to know how the traffic is in Ruwi, or if you are a business who has something interesting to sell.

From a corporate perspective, twitter is a tool to supplement Broadcast or print Media. Instead of just Yelling At people about what you are selling, you are Communicating with customers. Twitter provides a Low-cost opportunity to relate to customers and receive 360* feedback, while hopefully building a loyal customer base who will follow you, and your tweets.

But social media can bite back. By providing a public forum to interact with customers, you are also providing a public forum for customers to air grievances, so you had better be prepared to solve problems, listen to your customers, and take criticism like a Big Boy. Let me give you some examples of how it's working here in Oman.

Here is a great example of an Omani company using social media to connect with their customers. Go have a look: http://twitter.com/OmanAir Yes, that's right, Oman Air, our stogy, unfriendly national airline is using Twitter to fantastic effect. Whomever is managing their twitter account is so good, that I am actually considering flying with them again.

But sometimes, you can Fail, and Fail big. The conversation pasted below reads from top to bottom. The characters are

Nawras: The newly launched corporate twitter identity for Nawras Oman. Have a look, they are not following anyone, or replying to tweets directed at them.

Beyrouti: One of the senior guys who works in Marketing and Branding at Nawras. The fingers behind the Nawras tweets.

Developar : A young Omani Blogger, Twitterer, and a web, desktop &mobile games developer

Muscati Sangeetha BaderHinai and Otheroman : Omani Twitter Users, and Bloggers. Smarter than we look.

The scene below is what happens when your followers provide helpfull suggestions on how to be better on twitter, and the Branding manager looses his temper. It's a Fail. Remember, read top to bottom.

That tweet from Nawras was their last tweet to date, but there has been an awful lot of discussion about the meltdown on twitter, and now, Youtube! Clip credits to @Developar Hilarious!

For those of you who are looking forward to what I can only assume will be another massive Social Media Fail, Omantel has entered the fray with a twitter account for what is without a doubt the most hated company in the entire country. And they are already making the same mistakes Nawras did.

http://twitter.com/Omantel_om

And if you want a laugh, have a look at the (totally fake) Original Omantel Twitter page http://twitter.com/omantel which is, in my mind, a far better representation of Omantel's customer service abilities. Really, go. It's hilarious.

Even more hilarious, is that a lot of people read that and think it's actually Omantel. That's how bad Omantel is.

On the precipice

2010-02-06T16:24:00.002+04:00

After spending almost my entire adult life here, the time has come to pack up and leave for different pastures. We have had a good run here in Oman. This is where I met Stone, where I had the most amazing career ever, where I became a wife and a mother.

As you have no doubt guessed already, Stone's career takes the lead in our relationship. This is a good thing, because if it was up to me to provide for our family, we would most likely starve. Stone being an Expat White Guy, he works for an international organization that likes to move their assets around the world periodically. This is also a good thing, because just by marrying him, I also get to live all over the world, on the company dime. Not a bad gig, really; the corporation is my motor-home.

So this week, we are beginning the process of relocating elsewhere. Tonight, Stone is going to come home from the office with a list of possible jobs and possible locations and we're going to decide which ones to apply for. Half of me feels like it's the right thing to do, that the time has come, that we need to get out before we become as fantastically jaded and racist as some other long-term Expats. The other half feels like, maybe we are just making headway, like we've finally settled, and like maybe we should stay, because this is home. My family and friends are here.

I have plenty of time to get my head around this, the earliest possible move date would be all the way in May, and more likely, August. I wonder if my perspective on the everyday annoyances will change somewhat knowing that they will soon be replaced by new and different annoyances. Time will tell.

I fear this is about to become a blog about the satanic people in Human resources, and the fun of packing. Stay tuned.

An Open Letter to the White People of Muscat

2010-02-05T16:07:00.002+04:00

Dear White People,

There are so many more of you around these days than in the past, and I feel it's timely for us to have a discussion regarding your behavior, if only to ensure that we are all on the same page. Because, Why have you guys been so weird lately?

Seriously, I have had like a month of non-stop WWW encounters (Weird White Wanker) and I'm kind of beginning to wonder if, like, we have collectively forgotten that we are effectively guests here. I know, I know, you are here helping the country with your important White People Skills, Saving the native savages from themselves, etc... but really, we need to talk.

First off, many of you White People have taken to driving like locals. Just because you will likely never receive a ticket for driving like a total twat does not mean that it's OK to whip through my quiet neighborhood at warp speed. Furthermore, when you drive like total Assclowns, your license to stand around at cocktail parties and bitch about the appalling driving standards of the locals is terminated. Seriously, your bad driving is negating my ability to feel superior, and yours as well.
Ladies: While a miniskirt and tank top are possibly appropriate for Rock Bottom, or lunch at the marina pool, they are not appropriate for the grocery store, the souq, or the mall. It's not because it might offend people, but because it reflects badly on you and other people like you. If you cannot even grasp this most basic courtesy that comes hand in hand with living in the GCC, I shudder to think what other basic issues regarding life here you have failed to grasp.
I'm not even going to mention the topless sunbathing, but girls, you really should know better.
White Men: bringing prostitutes to a business dinner is not classy, it's weird. We all know they are prostitutes. I wholeheartedly encourage you have sex any way you can, but a business dinner? Get some class.
White people: Be nice to the waiters, seriously. It is not the end of the world if your special order was not fully understood by the waiter, and as a result, your food is not exactly perfect. I know it's frustration, but for the fucking love of god, show some compassion, and demonstrate your "civilized" heritage by acting like a civilized adult. And work on your communication skills while you are at it.
Stop acting like you are doing the country a huge favor just by gracing it with your presence. You are not. You are here doing a job, which I hope you are doing well, and for which you are being paid. You are not doing the country some enormous favor.
Which is not to say, don't complain. Please do complain about the stuff that is screwed up here. The list is long, and everybody, locals and expats alike is entitled to an opinion.
White people: You are not entitled to expect that every single person serving you speaks English. International hotels and major businesses excepted, this is an Arabic country, so learn some fucking Arabic or get really good at charades. And suck it up.

Enough ranting. For the record, I know that everything I wrote here applies to me as well.

ROP, Your Road Safety Experts

2010-02-02T18:20:00.003+04:00

I post the following with great thanks to the sharp eyes and brilliant wit of Muscati. Have a look at the road safety advertisement below, and tell me if you notice anything wrong with it.

Did you spot it yet?

No? Take a look at the kid's seat belt.

See it?

Yeah, it's been photo-shopped on. The wrong way. Nice... Oman's Road Safety education has a long way to go.

Bahwan Toyota are Muppets

2010-02-02T08:29:00.003+04:00

Not that this is news to anyone who has had the extreme displeasure of dealing with their service department.

Nor is it news to anyone who has tried to get a reasonable price on a hard to find spare part for a car that is a whopping 8 years old, the difficulty of which leading me to believe that perhaps I asked for the Holy Grail and not a mass produced, available anywhere else on earth, steering box.

But that's not what I'm talking about today. What I'm talking about today is the ongoing and expanding recall of various Toyota Cars in the US, Europe and Now it seems, The Middle East. According to Arabian Business

A massive recall of Toyota Motor Corp vehicles could extend to the Middle East after the carmaker admitted a number of the affected models, 2005-2010 year Avalons and 2009-2010 year Sequoias, had been shipped from the US for sale in the region.The rapidly widening recall, currently thought to affect more than 4.4 million cars, follows news of a possible fault in which the accelerator can get stuck in a depressed position preventing the driver from slowing down.In a statement Toyota said the fault – which is thought to be caused by worn accelerator pedal mechanisms – affecting cars in North America, Europe and China was unlikely to occur in the Middle East because of the difference in climate. No further details were given.

Bahwan Toyota has been on the record in all the papers for a week now saying that there are no cars in the sultanate subject to a recall. Everything is fine and rosy here thank you very much. Really, guys? How sure are you? Sure enough that you are willing to risk the lives of your present and future customers? I don't know who manages their PR, but they should find someone better.

Difference in climate? I'm not an expert on cars, and it's plausable, but what if you live in Salalah, Rust Capital of the GCC? Or Jabal Akhdar, where things are generally a bit nippier, and the roads will shake the shit out of your car?

What if you are drive one of the thousands of Grey-Market US export Toyotas on our roads? There are thousands EX-US cars cars on our roads, many of them already of questionable integrity. Don't believe me? Got a lot of spare time? Read This:

Most importantly, what if you are just concerned for the welfare of your family, and would like someone with some expert knowledge to check out your accelerator, free of charge, just to be sure?

Too bad, Bahwan knows best. Pitiful.

The Other Oman Alternative Restaurant Awards

2010-01-28T15:59:00.003+04:00

Ladies and gentlemen, The Other Oman Alternative Restaurant Awards! Suck this Apex!

Most Authentic Cuisine in an Astonishingly Unlikely Location

Tokyo Taro Japanese Restaurant, Al Falaj Hotel, Ruwi

Best Shwarma

Death Valley Shwarma, next to the Al Maha Station / southern expressway

Best (and so addictive it will change your life) Korean Kimchi

Narjeel Thai restaurant, inside ASAS hotel, Qurm

restaurant where you are most likely to die of old age before being served

Japengo, Love Road, Al Qurm

Best Dumpster Cats under the tables

Pizza Express patio, Shatti Al Qurm

Best Waitress

Rumhi, at the secret upstairs bar above O Sole'Mio, Jawharat al Shatti

Bossiest Waitress

Rumhi, at the secret upstairs bar above O Sole'Mio, Jawharat al Shatti

"no, you don't want that. you want this. it's much better. Trust me"

She's never been wrong

Best Waiter

VJ, Trader Vic's Intercontinental Hotel, Al Qurm

Best Spicy Potato Ball Breakfast Thingies

Zanzibar Island Restaurant, North AL Ghubra, below the Shell station

Most Improved Restaurant

The Restaurant, Chedi Hotel, Al Ghubra

Best Fish and Chips

Left Bank, Al Qurm

Snootiest crowd of not very attractive people who think they are beautiful and important

Left Bank, Al Qurm

Best Place to have a Fist Fight and a not very good steak

Rock Bottom Bar and Restaurant, Ramee guestline Hotel, Qurm

Out of a box franchise most like to fail, and deservingly so

5th avenue "deli" Madinat Sultan Qaboos

Best Indian

Passage to India, Bait Hattat, Wadi adai R/A

Best Caesar Salad

Trader Vic's Intercontinental Hotel, Al Qurm

Best Dive Bar to take your wife to

Sun-Set bar, Bausher hotel, Al Ghubra R/A

Best Dive bar not to take your wife to

The bar in the holiday inn, Ghala, labor camp district

Best Restaurant for Kids

The blue marlin, Marina Bandar Al Rawdah, Sidab

Best imported Franchise from Dubai

Noodle House, Muscat City Center

Best Chinese

The Chinese restaurant in the hotel next to the Ramee Guestline, Al Qurm

Best Fish Soup

Fisherman's Lodge, Al Qurm, near Al Qurm Private school

Best Mixed Mezze and Fresh Bread

Turkish house, Al Khuwair

Best Matre'd / Assistant Manager

Maqbool, Musandaam cafe, Intercontinental hotel.

Best Meshaltat

Al Omdah Pastry, Al Ghubra

Worst Italian food with the best staff

La Bella, MCC and QCC

Restaurant most likely not to be able to cook or understand a request for poached eggs despite their explicit presence on the menu. TIE!

Flavours, Airport road, Azaiba

and PDO coffee shop, Ras Al Hamra, Qurm

Most inexplicable lack of brewed coffee in an international coffee shop chain

Costa coffee, various locations

Stolen Xterra Recovered!

2010-01-26T16:45:00.007+04:00

It was recovered in less than 12 hours, using, of all things, Blogs and Twitter.

Special thanks to @yasserameer for finding the stolen car, and @Shweman retweeting my initial request. I can't tell you how grateful the people who own the car are to both of you. Great Job Guys!

Now please go out there and Find my missing 50" Panasonic flat screen TV!!!!!

Stolen Nissan Exterra

2010-01-26T10:27:00.006+04:00

Update: The car has been recovered thanks to an alert Twitterer and Blogger! Great Job!

The Crime here is getting ridiculous.

We have had at least seven break-ins in our neighborhood alone, in the last three weeks. In the Last two months, 2 families with whom we are personally acquainted have had their cars stolen.

See Below for the forwarded email from some friends who have just had their new Exterra Nicked. Please keep your eyes peeled?

last night our house was broken into and the thief found a set of keys, and stole our 2009 Xterra Off Road. The truck has been modified by Tadmur Auto in Sharjah, with a custom skid plate, bigger tires, a lift and new suspension, so it is easy to spot.

Thank God the ROP are doing everything they can to reduce crime by hassling my housemaids and threatening arrest if they don't produce labor cards, and accusing any random Indian who has ever been in our house of robbery, simply on the Basis that they are Indian. The words that come to mind are unpublishable, even here.

Lock your doors guys, and keep your car keys somewhere safe.

More stuff to do with your Toddler in Muscat

2010-01-24T15:40:00.003+04:00

Toddlers are cute, but they are also a huge pain in the ass to keep entertained, while not clawing your own eyes out from boredom. Weekends can be especially bad, particularly if one's spouse is both hungry and hungover from the previous nights adventures. What's a parent to do?

Fear not, Stone and I have discovered the best thing in the world to do on a weekend with toddlers and Small Children in Muscat. It's called Marina Bander Rowdah and it's located on the road between Muttrah and the Al Bustan. There is no membership fee, and you can use the pool and facilities for the price of a meal. It's a friendly place, and really family oriented. The waiters are great with the kid, and we have spent hours watching boats coming and going, or looking at the fish that flit around in the waters of the marina.

On an average weekend we can show up at around Noon, sit in the restaurant area around the pool, slap some water wings on the kid and watch her play happily for hours in the pool and with other kids. The menu offers something for everyone, and the waiters bring it to you poolside. It would appear that the English Breakfast is really popular, I believe it's the only place in muscat that serves Black pudding on the menu. The Marina also has a full liquor license, so you can enjoy a cold beer or a gin and tonic as you while away the afternoon.

The whole vibe is relaxed and family friendly, it's a great place to meet people if you are new to town. The clientèle is predominantly Western Expat, with roughly 25-35 % being Omani families and the occasional group of young adults or weekend fishermen sipping a beer in the corner.

On a weekday, it's worth grabbing a few friends who have kids the same age, and taking the kids for a visit to the lovely Aquariums (with real turtles!) at the ministry next door, and then moseying over to the Marina for lunch and playtime.

See you there.

Impressing Your Boss, Suburban Style

2010-01-18T15:31:00.002+04:00

My New Boss (who I will call Hussein from here on out) and I had a big meeting this morning. Hussein and I decided to ride together so we could discuss just what the hell I had created in the last 24 hours, and weather he was going to be hideously embarrassed by my crazy-ass ideas. I wanted to dress to impress so I wore a black sweater dress and my favorite Steve Madden heels. I thought I really looked the part of a creative professional.

Hussein stops for gas on the way, and I jump out to run into the shell station for cigarettes. As I begin to sprint across the forecourt, I remember that I am wearing stiletto heels. Because I am a prideful ass, instead of reducing my speed and walking, I keep trying to run. Predictably after a few increasingly unsteady steps, my ankle goes out completely and I fall over, landing my knees before dropping onto my face and skidding to a stop.

The entire forecourt goes silent, and then breaks out in hysterical laughter. Head down, I stand up, ignore the screaming pain from my ankle and knees, purchase my cigarettes, and carefully walk back to Hussein, who is still sitting behind the wheel laughing.

Hussein: Are you (laughter, gasping for air) Are You (Wiping tears away) all right?

Me: I'm fine but I feel like a total knob.

Hussein: Yeah, you are not very good at being a girl. Like not good at all. (peals of laughter)

On the bright side, the presentation went ok.

General News update

2010-01-15T16:15:00.001+04:00

The months of December, January and February are gorgeous in Oman. It makes the summer heat, incompetent government entities and the insane driving seem like a distant bad dream. These are the days when living here seems like paradise on earth with each salty, sandy, sun kissed day melting into the next. Even the traffic has been better lately, excepting on the days when it rains.

Things have been busy over the last couple of months. Something about the weather getting cooler, Second Eid, and the Christmas school breaks makes everyone want to go out more, and socialize more. So, what have we been up to lately? A Lot.

Most interestingly; We were burglarized two weeks ago. The robbers popped a lock on the back door, and took my laptop, the DVD player, and Stone's 50" flat screen television. We were in the house, asleep at the time. According to the ROP, robberies have been going on like Wildfire all over Muscat. There were six in our neighborhood alone last week.

If you happen to see a used 50" Panasonic Plasma for sale in Muscat. do let me or the ROP know, as it's probably mine.

Yes, we have gone through all the formalities, and had the house dusted for prints. The ROP kept asking us stuff like "do you know any indians?" "Is your gardener Indian?" "have you had any indians inside the house lately?" "Indians definately did this"... How fucking racist is that? Seriously?

Stone is gutted about the loss of his pride and joy. Condolences can be addressed to Otheroman@gmail.com and I'll pass them along to him.

My Friend Moadth called up as soon as he heard and when I answered he said "So let me get this straight, you buy a house in Detroit, and you get robbed in Oman? That is Hilarious!!!" I told him he'd better be careful or I'd see to it that his mom marries him off to his ugliest cousin. Touche'

Moving on... From the Suburban is totally incapable of interacting with other adults like a normal person file:

I went to a big Tweet-Up on national day. During the planning stage there was a lot of discussion regarding wearing Omani national dress to the tweet up. I agonized about which region and which era to style my costume around. At the end I chose to go as a modern young Omani Woman, complete with my favorite shirt dress, killer heels, antique Bedouin jewelry, makeup, ridiculous camel-hump hair and multiple layers of Stylee Shayla. I was, of course, the only person who dressed up in costume. I looked like an absolute tool. However I must point out that everyone was super nice to me anyway, despite thinking inside their heads that I was, without a doubt, TOTALLY BATSHIT CRAZY.
At my new Job last week, my boss leaned over to me and said "so, is Stone taking care of Business..??" And I was all, "Hell yeah! Stone takes care of business every morning. Why do you think I was late today?" and my new boss was like "Um...That is good to know, but what I meant was, is Stone in the office today. Like is he still on vacation?" ...TOTALLY AWKWARD.

In general news:

Just like every year, we hosted a big Christmas day lunch for friends, family and neighbors. This year's event was smaller than year's past when we have has 25-35 people over. Smaller was better, and a lot less work for me. Christmas isn't a religious holiday for us, but we do love playing Santa and spending time with the people we care the most about. Santa brought stockings and presents for everybody, and we had a great mix of nationalities, ages, and backgrounds. It was really cool.

Does anybody want a really cute pet kitten? We have three that need good homes. They are litter box trained and really great with small children. Also, they are extraordinarily cute. We will pay to have them spayed and vaccinated.

Muscat has been attacked by a Plague of Flies. They are everywhere. They are disgusting.

And that's all the news that's fit to print. More from here soon.

The Most Ironic title for a letter to the Times of Oman ever

2010-01-14T16:20:00.006+04:00

A Letter to the Editor found in today's Times of Oman. A Newspaper where Mediocrity isn't just a word, it's a corporate philosophy.

Where Mediocrity Thrives

This has reference to your editorial, Aussie stand exposed, (January 11). The editorial is timely. There is no doubt that the standard of higher education in Australia is in no way even at par with that in England or America. I wonder what really attracts Indian students to Australia. As a nation, Australia has traditionally thrived on mediocrity. The Aussies are indeed feeling threatened by the superior intellects of the Indians and Chinese. The attacks on Indians are definitely results of a threatened society who fear being overshadowed by these superior intellects if not intimidated and shooed out now.

-Prasad K. Babu, Wadi Kabir

Nice. Let's swap some of the words around now.

Where Mediocrity Thrives

This has reference to your editorial, Omani stand exposed, (January 11). The editorial is timely. There is no doubt that the standard of work and business in Oman is in no way even at par with that in England or India. I wonder what really attracts outside workers to Oman. As a nation, Oman has traditionally thrived on mediocrity. The Omani's are indeed feeling threatened by the superior intellects of the British and Indians and Chinese. The harassment and governmental bias against foreigners are definitely results of a threatened society who fear being overshadowed by these superior intellects if not intimidated and shooed out now.

-James Waddle- Al Qurm

Or, How about this?

Where Mediocrity Thrives

This has reference to your editorial, Muslim stand exposed, (January 11). The editorial is timely. There is no doubt that the standard of higher education in the Muslim World is in no way even at par with that in the west. I wonder what really attracts Muslim students to outside universities. As a nation of people, Muslims have traditionally thrived on mediocrity. The Muslims are indeed feeling threatened by the superior intellects of the Christians and Jews. The attacks on westerners are definitely results of a threatened society who fear being overshadowed by these superior intellects if not intimidated and shooed out now.

-Susie Soakes - Via Email

I do have to say that the letter provided a nice change from the usual Cricket and Indian politics discussions, as well as a welcome break from the usual Zionist conspiracy bullshit.

Sheikh Issa

2010-01-10T17:46:00.003+04:00

Sheik Issa bin Zayed Al Nahyan has been acquitted of Torture, rape, and many other unpleasant things by a court in Abu Dhabi. How disappointing, and acutely embarrassing for the UAE, and Arabs everywhere.

From the Washington Post: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/01/10/AR2010011000830.html

I'm speechless.

Stone, professional airline pilot extroidinare

2010-01-08T15:12:00.002+04:00

I adore my husband Stone. He is talented, witty, sexy, brilliant, an excellent father and an indulgent, considerate husband. It's not just hollow words when I say that he's my whole world, and the perfect partner in every way. We should all be so lucky as to find someone like Stone to spend forever with.

Stone is an indulgent father, and the kids want for nothing. Our littlest asked last month for an airplane, and Stone got straight onto Amazon and ordered ~~her~~ Himself an insanely expensive model airplane with a 5 channel radio controller and a wingspan larger than she is. Because what ~~3 year old~~ father of a 3 year old doesn't need a giant R/C model airplane?

The airplane arrived last week, and Stone slaved away every evening to assemble the thing. Clever guy that he is, he was not deterred in the slightest by the weirdly translated directions, which when read all together sound like strange coffee-house open mike poetry sessions.

The Paster follow the complete picture, it has some technical requirement.... Lerner must flight with the experiential man. Commingle the control switch, It can realise the mode transform of "V" model triangle wing...... Telluric flying off, let the plane in the ground with windward. Increase gun to the most, push pole gently. Fly in spacious ground without obstacle and boscage...

Assembly complete, plans were made for the maiden flight. Stone reluctantly enlisted the help of my father, a long ago type-rated pilot himself and an experienced model airplane builder. Much advice was proffered regarding practice on the ground, restraint in using the elevators, flight theory in general, and the importance of steering with the rudder in the beginning. All of which was, in hindsight, ignored. It is at this stage worth noting that in his various performance reviews Stone is always labeled Confident, cocky, arrogant, and a risk taker. All of which are frighteningly accurate descriptions of my husband.

After scouting possible locations, a local Cricket field was selected. Dad and Stone headed out towards the pitch, and I heard the engine whine as they did some practice taxiing. I think that inside Stone's head, he visualised himself standing tall at the controls, directing the plane in a series of loops and high speed bombing runs over the heads of his rapt audience. Indeed, he would slowly be encircled by an adoring public, awed by his skill and prowess, and seeking out his expertise in all matters model plane related.

A moment later, we heard the engine whine again, and Mom, the kid and I looked over to see the thing take flight! The kid, is who is smarter than you might imagine, immediately placed one hand over her mouth, and one hand over her eyes. My Mom Said, "my god, Stone's Flying it!"! The plane arced upward for about three seconds, and then Stone turned it hard left. As it tilted left, what had been his headwind became a crosswind, grabbing the plane flipping it to vertical, nose down, engine screaming. We all watched in silence as it plummeted to the ground, nose first, with an unsettling crunch.

There was much amusement. We intend to remind him of his excellent flying demonstration on a regular basis for some time to come.

Holidays

2009-12-28T15:57:00.004+04:00

This is a picture of my family, which was made into a christmas tree ornament by a neighbour we knew when I was growing up. My gorgeous baby sister is missing, as she wasn't born until like ten years later, but I love this photo anyway. Mom looks so happy, Dad looks confident and handsome* and My brother is innocent, smiling and cute, a far cry from the driven, competitive, hard-core Badass he has become today. I'm the girl climbing the tree in the background.

I can still remember the day the photo was taken, and I can still remember the way the bark of the birch tree in the front yard smelled and would leave my skin and clothes dusted in flaky white Birch dust. The woman who took the picture shares my name (was I named after her? I don't remember) and she stiched and embroidered my mother a shirt a million years ago. I stole the shirt from mom, and wear it all the time, because it makes me think of mom, and the woman she was before we, as kids with incessant demands and unrelenting selfishness made her a Mom-Person. Your Identity; the ultimate sacrifice of motherhood.

Now that my sister is safely off in Grad School, and flashing through her exams like a freight train (Straight A's!!!) Mom and Dad are tentatively finding their feet and rediscovering whatever it is that the people they were before we arrived might look like now. We give them grief, make cruel jokes about mid-life crisis etc.. but secretly, we are thrilled for them.

A blog post about other stuff, and how (some but not all) Omani's celebrate Christmas, soon.

* and that beard fantastic, no?

An Open Letter to the Times Of Oman

2009-12-21T16:50:00.004+04:00

Dear Sir,

I must vehemently disagree with the viewpoints presented in Fahad Al Ghadani's article (Need for Dress Code at Beaches, Times Of Oman 19/12/09). I, for one, would like to see more foreign women in inappropriate clothing and revealing swim suits on our beaches and in our shops. The scantily clad western tourists provide me and thousands of other young men with hours of entertainment weekly, as well as what is, likely, our only current opportunity to interact with a real semi-naked woman.

Given the lack of any suitable entertainment options for young Omani men in the capital and villages, Girl-watching keeps many of us busy and out of trouble, when otherwise idle hands could turn to crime. It is also worth noting that the revealingly dressed tourists are assisting in confirming the useful stereotype that western women are skanky and easy. On Behalf of young Omani Men everywhere, I beg of you, please do not encourage such dress codes on the beaches.

-Said Al Sardi

AKA Subruban Muscat

Detroit, city of choice for discerning people like Me and Stone

2009-12-14T13:54:00.004+04:00

Over Eid, Stone and I went to Detroit, leaving the baby in the care of mom, dad, and the housemaids. We had an absolutely fantastic time. Detroit is one of the coolest cities in America, full of the nicest people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. We went there for the first time last summer, and liked it so much we bought an apartment downtown.

I think Detroit gets an unfair rap in the media and the minds of Americans, at least in part due to racism and classicism. The city of Detroit is like 82 percent black, and according to studies, boasts an illiteracy rate of 45 to 50% among ADULTS. The city has been repeatedly victimized by decades corruption and incompetency in local government, and though the new Mayor seems honest and competent, he has a difficult road ahead of him.

Stone and I think there is a great deal of hope for Detroit. Even overrun with abandoned skyscrapers, burned out suburbs, and urban prairie taking over old neighborhoods, we feel that Detroit is full of hope, and opportunity. Detroit is awash in interesting architecture, funky pocket neighborhoods, activities for kids, kind people, ample semi-skilled labor, a thriving arts and music scene, great restaurants, low costs of living, and wonderful downtown parks. I could go on, but you get the idea. I do not believe Detroit is too broken to fix.

Moving on, I thought I would post a few thoughts on our trip to Detroit, and a few vignettes of our time there.

What is it with the total assholes that work the immigration desk in the US? Just Once I would like to arrive in the US, hand them my passport, and hear "Welcome Home Suburban!" . Instead, every single time, I get some asshole who feels like interrogating me for fifteen minutes because I'm not a "Genuine" American. I mean, would you guys just fuck off and let me come home? Is there a factory somewhere in Washington that cranks out these dour, soulless Ass-wipes who are everyone's first point of contact with the United states?
Interestingly, the only Assholes we met during our entire week in the US were the US immigration authorities. Everyone else, even the crackheads and homeless people were the very personification of charm.
We had the pleasure of eating twice at the Best BBQ place in the city, SLOWS It's three minutes out of downtown, in the corktown neighbourhood, directly across from the beautiful and decrepit abandoned train station. They have absolutely fantastic food, the fried catfish was so good I could eat if every day for the rest of my life. They also have an amazing selection of Micro-brews all sorts of outrageous porters, wheats, lagers, cask conditioned ales, and more.
Our (straight) Realtor and some (non straight) friends took us to an awesome gay bar one night. (How Awesome is our Realtor?) For a 2 dollar cover charge you get a giant mason jar of Pabst Blue Ribbon, some really really really famous DJ's spinning, graphic homosexual art on the walls, guys danging around in leather, and a genuinely friendly crowd, even to boring straight people like me and Stone. I wish I could remember the names of the DJ's because the music was so fantastic.
We went out to dinner at this place Called the Harbor House, which serves Alaskan Snow Crab. It is insanely delicious stuff. for 18 RO (Including tip) Stone and I could eat Two pounds of Snow crab with drawn butter, a really gourmet salad, fries, baguette and cinnamon butter, and have two Micro-brew beers each. That is Value Bitches.
Yes, that is a real crab. Yes, they are really delicious.
The guy from the rental car company picked us up in an Brand New Dodge Ram Pickup. I was all, Dude, this is a Sweet Ride! and he was all "Hi Five!" His name was Anton, and he was hilarious. Instead of the crappy tiny pickup we were planning on renting, he upgraded us to the giant, Red Ram for free. Look for a review here soon.

OK, this post is too long already. Needless to say we had fun. I'll post some of the funny stuff we did and saw in a future post. and some more on the British invasion of F1 later in the week. I"m not sure how to write it all up without alienating every one of my British friends. Stay tuned.

Formula 1, Day 2, part 1

2009-12-09T17:01:00.007+04:00

I never sleep well on the first night of an event, and this one is no exception. After a night of tossing and turning, I roll out of bed at 05:00 and walk through the endless rows of porta cabins towards the office. The office is locked, but there are seven rough looking guys nursing lukewarm Heineken around a table in the carport-turned evening mess. From the looks of it, these are my sort of people.I sit down at the table, introduce myself, and one of the guys hands me a beer, confirming my suspicions that yes, these guys are definitely my kind of people.

Over breakfast beers we chat and watch the sun rise, and it emerges that these guys are firefighters from the UK. They arrived late last night and are some of the 350+ British volunteers from Silverstone to assist with the Marshalling and trackside safety. Etihad airways has provided the flights for these volunteers, as they are more experienced in the running of F1 than the local crew. More on that, and them, later.

Following a couple of beers, my new friends and I head to the mess for breakfast. Breakfast is a congealed mass of grey eggs, questionable fruit, Hot dogs and unidentifiable animal parts. It will be my only breakfast in the Camp mess. At a quarter to seven, most of the team I'll be working with arrives, and the first problem of the day presents itself.

Access to any area of a F1 race is strictly controlled, and Abu Dhabi is no exception. Sadly, the Abu Dhabi police force don't seem to be up to the task, and have created endless obstacles for the race organizers. For me to get the first of four (yes! four!) passes allowing me access to to various localities I needed to submit the following:

A Three page questionnaire covering everything from where I was born, to who my immediate family members are.
A copy of my Passport, and any relevant residency visas.
My Omani Driving license, International driving licence and american driving licence.
My Omani Iqamma.
Ten million passport photos on a white background.

Late last night(58 hours before the racing starts), the Abu Dhabi Police rang up everyone and said that EVERY SINGLE PASS needs to be taken back from the marshalls and event staff, and delivered to the police station to be cross checked with records and have a shiny round sticker stuck to it. 58 hours before the racing starts. The Colonel in charge of F1 security has made it clear that anyone found to be lacking a shiny little sticker on their badge will find themselves in a not too shiny jail so fast it will make thier head spin.

Most of the 800+ passes under our control have been distributed already, so for the morning, our unhappy task is to try and get as many passes back from people as we can. By noon, we have 400 passes in hand, and some poor bastard has been sent off to get started on the stickers at the police station.

Off to the track, where I get to meet the guys I'll be working for for the next 5 days. The guys seem nice, and refreshingly unpretentious, but we can't do a system and regulations walk through as planned. This is because our office has been taken over by 17 Pakistani guys who are frosting the glass.

Which brings me to something that impressed me throughout the entire event: In Abu Dhabi, it is so easy to get someone with a brain and skills to show up and do their job. In my day to day life in Muscat, that Never, ever, ever, ever happens. It seems almost everything is a epic struggle that leaves me nearly suicidal, and usually drunk, angry or in a police station.

In Abu Dhabi however, getting a company to do the thing you need them to do takes one step: pick up a phone and ask. Yesterday, my office was a gigantic, clear, fishbowl. In two hours, my office will be a gigantic, opaque fishbowl, with window frosting seamlessly applied by the expert hands of guys how know how to FROST FUCKING WINDOWS. Every request or emergency thing I needed throughout the race was dealt with by a honest, knowledgeable, polite person, who arrived at the appointed time with the things he or she needed to fix the problem at hand. How Novel.

I spend the rest of the day wandering around jaw agape, checking out the facilities, sorting out administrative odds and ends, and meeting some of the other people who have come out to run the event. Most are lovely, your standard motorsport weirdos, witty, strange, all with great stories to tell and easy to talk to about everything from the mundane to the transcendental. Really great people.

But there are like 15 or 20 other people, all British, who are really weird. Bossy, arrogant, condescending, dinosaurs, who to top it off, are really funny looking. All of them! There are three guys, who I think were born some time in the mid Jurassic, who look and act almost exactly like the old guys in the balcony from the Muppet Show. Despite showering them with talent, charm and kindness, I have yet to receive a kind word or so much as a smile from any of them. They are part of an experienced contingent from the UK who are here to "help" us run the race. They are also annoying as hell.

Now that I"m typing this, the British people need a post all their own, which I'll write up as the next post.

We finish up in the office around 9 pm, and head back to the labor camp, where the staff welfare comittee has hooked up a sound system and has an excellent selection of music playing. The carport has been strung with fairy lights and disco balls, and the catering company has laid on a fantastic feast of Fresh Shwarma, falafel, salads and gooey desserts. I load up a plate, head over to a table packed with old friends, someone hands me a gin and tonic, and all is right with the world.

An hour and three gins later, the first of the buses with the remaining 300 or so British marshals and the balance of the Medics shows up. And things get interesting.

Formula 1, Day 2 part 2 coming later in the week.

A belated love note

2009-12-04T22:54:00.005+04:00

Chef Doug taught me everything I know about cooking. He taught me to treat a tomato right, how to love pork, how to eat salmon raw. He taught me to compulsively prioritize each and every item on my to-do list, never let anyone catch me fucking up, and to never accept anything that was less than perfect.

Chef Doug also taught me a lot of what I know about drug addiction, he taught me how to snort a line of cocaine, how to use a bullet to deliver the perfect kick of Ketamine when I was coming down, and how to push a refrigerator over in a fit of detox rage. He also taught me a little of what I know about making love.

Every time I cook I think of Doug, every single time I see a endive or a heirloom tomato, or a lamb lion or a wheel of gorgonzola or even when I serve my family a dinner that could be better, I think of him. I worked for him for four years, off and on. I met Doug because I used to borrow ingredients for the small cafe I worked at. I went in to his super fancy restaurant one day and asked for a case of portabello mushrooms, ten pounds of parmesan, and a job.

Doug had always smoked pot, but I don't know when he got mixed up with the really serious drugs. He started to get weird at work, throwing pates and hot pans at the girls, missing for hours during a busy shift, storing kilos of the drugs he was selling in the walk-in cooler. I must have brought him to the hospital overdosed on a combo-platter of coke, ketamene, vodka, and meth fifteen times. Even from a hospital bed, still puking charcoal, he always swore he had it under control.

During a busy dinner rush, Doug once looked over at me and said, " I shine brighter because I burn the candle at both ends. Baby, you'll never understand what it is to live like I do." I told him that I would say that at his funeral one day. I feel like a total ass now for saying that. The drugs eventually cost him his job (another story, interesting) , and after that he disappeared from my world for almost a year.

A freezing januray morning in 2001, my phone rang. Doug was on the other end of the line and said he was too drunk to drive and could he crash at my house for the night. I let him in, and asked how he had been. He said he had stopped using coke, how he was totally clean, totally over that bullshit scene. He asked if I minded if he smoked, and I said no problem. He pulled out a glass pipe, and mixed a crack-meth cocktail and smoked it right there on the end of my bed. I rolled over and went to sleep, when I woke up the next morning, Doug was gone. I never saw him again.

Doug died in a single vehicle motorcycle accident, in late 2005. He's dead and buried, but I can hear him inside my head every time I pick up a knife.

Formula 1, Day 1

2009-11-10T15:00:00.000+04:00

I got to work the Abu Dhabi Formula 1 last week. It is not nearly as glamorous as you might imagine, but despite that, fun was had. I'm going to bore you to death over the next few days with a behind the scenes overview of my week at the Abu Dhabi Formula One.

Day One:

My Flight for AUH leaves at 11:00, so I need to aim for a 09:30 arrival at Seeb airport. A leisurely morning becomes an outright panic when I realize my phone died overnight, and I need to get one sorted before I get on the plane, as my Joining instructions for this event are "Call us when you get there and we'll tell you where to go because it's extremely complicated and you will never find us unless you are actually on the phone while in the taxi."

After consulting with Twitter, a plan is hatched, which went to absolute shambles in short order because nobody here ever opens a shop on time. Much Panic, gnashing of teeth, 1 Failed Attempt to purchase a Blackberry at the Nawras head office, and just in time to make my flight, I purchased a 20 Rial Nokia from Airport Duty free. Thanks a million to whomever it was who suggested that!

On arrival in Abu Dhabi, I got the only taxi driver in the entire UAE who does not know how to speak English or Arabic or Farsi or Hindi or Urdu. The communication issue was further compounded by his lack of any knowledge whatsoever of Abu Dhabi, or Yas Island.

What I Said: "Yas Island, East Exit, Aldar Offices, I'll direct you from there."

What he heard: "I would very much like to circumnavigate the entirety of Abu Dhabi Airport, checking in at each an every gate surrounding the periphery, and eventually getting menaced by some rather intimidating chaps with automatic weapons"

Eventually, I took over driving the taxi, and trusty phone to ear, found my way to the Operations Village.

The Operations Village, which was to be my home for the next week, was a sort of gourmet Labor camp, comprised of 200+ portable trailers, with 4 beds in each, a recreation area which had been pressed into service as event offices. Surrounded by Razorwire, with security controlling access to the facility, it was a little like being in a minimum security prison.

In the office, the Staff Welfare team are counting room keys, radios, marshals tabbards, overalls, t shirts, access passes, and a million other things. It looks hellish, tedious, and thankless. I'm suddenly thrilled that I'll be strictly administrative on this one.

Due to the hasty eviction of the laborers who used to live there, and the subsequent short notice handover to the F1 Organizers, the carefully planned room allocation system went out the window, and when I arrived my room had been taken over by some other women. Thankfully, I packed a sleeping bag, so I can always crash out on a floor somewhere.

The Chief Medical Officer pops in and offers me a lift to the Circuit, where my office awaits. Nearly hyperventilating from the excitement, I pile in, and we're off. On arrival at Race Control, I am freaking speechless.

The track, the hotel, the paddock, Media canter, and marina must have set AD back Billions and Billions of dollars. Whereas Bahrain built a (wonderful) plain, simple trick on an empty area of sand, AD built a city, a mega mall, a Marina, hotels, grandstands for 50,000, and a gigantic amusement park. In two years. Unfuckinbeliveable.

I set up my office, meet a few of the early arrived key figures, and spend the rest of the afternoon and evening cutting little laminated phone lists into pocket sized squares. Professional motorsport is usually doing hideously boring stuff in an interesting environment.

Discussing sleeping arrangements over beers later that night, it emerges that Chris, Christopher, and Richard have one bed spare in thier cabin, so I'll bunk in with them for the week. This is Excellent news, because they are men. Male roommates means I will get all the wardrobe space to myself, I will not have to put up with lengthy beauty routines, and because men take fast showers, there will be plenty of hot water left for me. Win!

I toddle off to bed at about 1:00 am, for a 7:00 am start the next day.

Later in the week: Day 2.

The Air Traffic Control Issues

2009-11-08T14:41:00.002+04:00

Just a Quick one,

Last Week, while drinking beer with a number of (off duty) Pilots in Abu Dhabi, I was asked about the systems failure in MCT air traffic control. And I was all like Wha?? Huh??? And then they said yeah, everybody up here is talking about it, because it was like, really bad. And I was all, No way! Because we have a great ATC training college here and I think we take our air safety rather more seriously than that, so why don't you stuck up pilots just suck it? And they were like, go home and ask your ATC buddies.

Jump to a couple of days ago when I arrive home and get caught up on the blogs. Lo and behold, two blogs are talking about the system going down, chaos, and Airprox events. Whaaa??? Before we continue, Have any of you read Muscat Confidential's posts on the issue? If not go read them now.

Post 1: http://muscatconfidential.blogspot.com/2009/11/flying-blind-omans-air-traffic-control.html

Post 2: http://muscatconfidential.blogspot.com/2009/11/more-on-air-traffic-control-meltdown.html

There are not a lot of comments, but one worth highlighting is in the first post, written buy someone who claims to be a Controller in Muscat. I have thoughtfully put the interesting part in bold. See Below.

Muscat ATC SSK said...
1)if you are talking about human error i am with you but Omani technicians aren't exempted (most important thing they've to learn through) Similar problem happen in Melbourne and Ireland according to our radar sys manufacture company.

2)if you talking about covering up ,every country has own policies( I've never came across of air miss happen in States or N. Zealand ! and as a passenger you have no right to question the country of what happen that day ,you can only ask the airline you have traveled with . Sure they'll have an answer if they have filled a report.

Ummm... the above strikes me as the writings of an extremely defensive individual who feels that multiple Airprox events and a system crash are not a big deal. Because, who are you to question us or expect reasonable answers and transparency? Ladies and Gentlemen, your lives may be in that guy's hands.

ATC systems do go down occasionally, the US had a huge issue with the digital flight plans system abut ten years ago, which caused massive delays but not much in the way of safety issues. More interestingly, about this time last year, Sanwick which controls (I think) Area, Approach, and Departure traffic for all of London, as well as Area traffic for most of Northern Europe, had a major failure.

They, like our local contemporaries, were working with little basic radar blips, charts, landlines, and radios. Unlike our local associates, as far as I'm aware, there were no Airprox events on this one, despite it occuring in some of the most congested airspace in the world. The failure was reported in the papers, and a transparent answer for the problem was eventually provided by the concerned authorities. If you are a dork, like me, here is an excellent explanation of how it worked when Sanwick went down Here: http://www.airliners.net/aviation-forums/general_aviation/read.main/4157056/1/#45

(Jet Driver if you are reading, could you Fact Check for the last paragraphs regarding Sanwick please? )

However, the thing I find most surprising is the generalized silence that greeted the revelations. like, few comments on the blogs, nothing that I am aware of in the papers, and an apparent embargo on any one affiliated with DGCAM or Oman Air speaking about it. I rang a few friends who would know what happened, and they wouldn't tell me Anything that has not already been published because they are afraid for their jobs. The words Witchhunt, Scapegoat, and Cover-up featured heavily in our conversations.

I think this is the biggest story broken by a blogger in Oman, but nobody in the print media seems to want to touch it. WTF? We're talking about the ENTIRE ATC (and for a short time RADAR) system being brought down, Airprox events that followed, a near miss on a plane carrying ministers, all due due to what appears to be staggering incompetency by a senior systems guy. Add that to the widespread allegations of nepotism, nationalism and bad management in the tower and DGCAM and you have, I think, a story and a problem that people would like to know about.

That's all for today. I promise to write about the Abu Dhabi Formula 1 starting tomorrow.

The Play Dough Nazis

2009-11-03T14:27:00.004+04:00

Quick one today, as I am operating on a eight-day build up of Hangovers and Sleep Deprivation. Abu Dhabi Was waaaay more wonderful than I had imagined, and I have about seventeen posts worth of material to share. It was an outrageous time.

When I picked the kid up from school today, I was testily greeted by the head teacher for her year, informing me that the week I was gone was my week for the Play Dough Rota. My Failure to deliver two giant batches of Homemade Play dough while Simultaneously being in another country running the biggest Motorsport event the region has ever seen, clearly reflects that I am not interested in my child's education, and am a disorganised fuckwit to boot.

Our Conversation this morning went something like this:

Bossy Teacher: I sent a note home with Pebbles this week. It was your week to make the Play dough.

Me: Sorry, I've been up in Abu Dhabi all week.

Bossy Teacher: Well, you didn't tell me.

Me: Yeah, I didn't think I had to clear my work travel with you.

Bossy Teacher: Well, we had to get someone else to make the playdough, and it's really important that the kids have playdough.

Me: I'm sorry but Stone was too busy to make it, I was out of town, and frankly, I have better things to do with my time than make play Dough. I'll buy some from the shop and bring it in tomorrow.

Bossy Teacher: No. The stuff from the shop isn't as good.

Me: Riiiight.

The play Dough Rota, for those of you who have yet to discover the joys of sending your kid to an overpriced nursery, is rota decreed by the gods of education, and designed specifically to annoy the hell out of working mothers who have better shit to do with their time than trying to impress Bossy Nursery teachers.

I do Did not have the time to shop for, make, and clean up the mess from Play Dough. Given that we're paying a goddamn king's ransom for a 3 year old kid to attend what is, effectively, a playgroup, I would not think that it would kill them to possibly outsource the Play dough making to a local catering company or maybe just march their shit down to Sultan center and Buy some freaking playdough.

Additionally, I suppose I am extra prickly because at this time 48 hours ago I was staring at famous people and helping to manage the racing worlds most important series, and today, I am being harangued by a nursery teacher about Play Dough. It would seem I am suffering from a case of work whiplash.

More tomorrow.

My First Tweet Up!

2009-10-26T19:18:00.002+04:00

This is a quick one, because in like 13 hours I am supposed to be at the airport to go to Abudhabi to work my other Job for a week.

Yes, Funemployment was brief, but enjoyable.

So I hosted a minor tweet up at my place. 4 of the smartest, classiest, sanest people I have ever met came by my house and graciously listened to me rant and rave for like, 3 hours. They even brought Pizza, and Cake. I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed a chance to talk to a group of people who sort of live on the same planet as me, and to have like, the first REAL conversation I've had in six months.

I discovered a few things:

Strange internet people are really nice.
I like Pizza from Pizza Inn
That apparently, many people think I am Omani. What a complement!
I did not need to down two giant galsses of Wine in order to calm my nerves
I did not to drink a further two glasses of wine to facilitate my ability to talk to strangers.
That I really have some opinions on Omanisation, and that maybe I had better put into a blog post, if only to spare everyone from another hour long rant on the fobiles of the government.
That I can fearlessly host a larger Bloggger / twitter gathering, and not have a nervous breakdown at the prospect of facing so many scary unknown people.

In Summary: it was all good! Hi5!

OK. Many many Many thanks to @Alucard187 @blue_chi @sbtm77 @kifa7 You guys are fantastic.

Putting the Fun in Unemployment

2009-10-24T16:24:00.002+04:00

That's right Bitches, I'm Funemployed.

I am so Funemployed that I am typing this wearing nothing but boxer shorts and a tiara*. I drank champaigne for breakfast this morning* and tonight I'm going to buy a high powered sports car*, and then go skydiving* and make love to George Clooney*. Because that's what Funemployment is all about.

I chucked in my job on Thursday, which was a genuinely a heartbreaking decision as I really loved the work itself, my boss was among my best friends, and I really do like working.

Why would I choose to throw away my best mate and a fantastic job? Do you guys remember six months ago when I wrote about the crazy guy I work with? No? You can read it here: http://otheroman.blogspot.com/2009/03/briefly.html

This isn't the place to go into details, but things with Crazy Guy just kept getting crazier and crazier. I Should have taken Muscato's advice Waaay back in March, because he was totally correct. Live and learn.

I am now accepting suggestions with what I should do with my newfound 40+ hours a week of spare time. Maybe I should take a class? Buy another used car? Work on my tan? Stone suggests that I think about cooking my goddamn husband dinner once in a while.

So that's what's new with me. What's new with you guys?

*none of that is true, but it could be, because when you are Funemployed you can do whatever you want.

Local Humour

2009-10-19T15:46:00.002+04:00

Just a quick one today, I want to encourage you to read a really witty local blog.

It's written by what I assume to be a long-term western expat couple, one of whom is a really talented cartoonist. The wit is Dry, dry, dry, occasionally self depracating, and the entries are generally bite-sized. Also, they would appear to know how to spell, which will make delightful reading to those who usually cringe at my hideous spelling.

Start with this post: essential reading for every muscat resident. I have printed off the diagram and stuck it to my office wall.

http://www.livinginoman.com/2009/10/transport-in-oman.html

Then go to the blog and read the rest.

www.livinginoman.com

In other news, my big kids are in town for the week, so look for an upcoming post "from the mouths of Babes"

Getting stuff printed in Muscat.

2009-10-17T14:37:00.003+04:00

I would like to highlight an extraordinary bit of beurocracy that we have here in Oman. Play along boys and girls!

Here is the scene:

You are a legitimate Omani company, Omani owned, have a commercial registration number, registered with every business regulating entity in the country and engaged in totally legitimate business endeavours. You are, for lack of a better term, an awsome company, making headways into an international business market.

Let's say you want to attend an overseas trade show, and you want to take with you 3 different sets of 1,000 printed brochures detailing the services that your company offers. Simple right? you ring up your printers, take a disk with the artwork in, and they print it. Presto! a week later you have 3,000 gorgeous glossy brochures to take with you to your overseas trade show. Right? Right?

Wrong.

Here is how it works if you are my company, or any other small company in Muscat.

Call your freelance graphic designer, and get the stuff designed
Burn it to a bunch of disks, and take it to the printers
Finalise the layout, and approve the proofs
Ask how long it will take
Be told that it depends on Ministry of Information approval, and Muscat Municipality Approval.
And it costs 10 bucks per design
Tell them it's for overseas distribution, you shouldn't need approvals
Be told that it does not matter, everything printed in the whole goddamn country needs approval.
Tell them to go ahead and get the approvals then.
Be told they need a letter on company letterhead, with the company stamp, and a copy of the company's commercial registration document to procede.
Spend a day in the office sorting out everything, finding the C.R. paper, and extracting the stamp from the grimy claws of the accountant.
drive from Ruwi to Qurm and back to get an authourised signature for the letter.
Return to the printers with all the stuff.
Be told the letter must be in arabic.
try not to scream, or rip your eyeballs from thier sockets.
fail on the first count.
Re type the letter in arabic, stamp it when nobody is looking, sign it yourself.
Hand it all in to be taken for approval.
Go home and pour yourself a triple gin and tonic.
Next afternoon receive a call from the printers. Your proofs have been rejected because they are only in English. All flyers must be bilingual.
Wail, gnash teeth. explain that they are for overseas distribution. In like, Europe.
Printer says he will send somebody back with a new proof and try to get it passed the next day by a different guy at the ministry.
Ministry #1 approves all your proofs next day.
hear nothing for 3 days.
Receive a call from the printers that Ministry #2 will not approve the flyers because your business falls under the auspices of a different Ministry (ministry #3).
Explain that you don't fall under the auspices of ANY ministry, since the government, as far as you are aware, does not own your company.
Printer says he will send somebody back with a new proof and try to get it passed the next day by a different guy at the ministry.
weekend.
Receive a call from the printers that Ministry #2 will not approve the flyers because your business falls under the auspices of Ministry#3 . Ministry#3 must approve your flyers before ministry #2 will approve your flyers.
Tell printers to go see Ministry #3 and try to get someone there to stamp the proofs.
Printer guy goes to see Ministry #3 four seperate times trying to get someone in the ministry to stamp the proofs.
Despite the fact that you are a legitimate business known to everyone in Ministry #3, Noone in Ministry #3 is willing to stamp the proofs since they have never been asked to do so before.
With the deadline looming, Call in a favor, Apply Wasta, Cry, and drink yourself to a stupor.
Ministry #3 finally acknowleges your existance. Send printer to get approval from Ministry #2
Ministry #2 rejects your proofs because they are not bi-lingual and Arabic, only English.
Ask the printers if they could just please print the notally non-objectional shit you need without seeking any approval.
Printers say no. There are really heavy fines for unauthourised printing.
Give up.
Send Ro 800 in business that could have supported Omani companies to Dubai, and have the printing done there.
Pay an extortionate amount to have it delivered here.
Beat your head against a nearby wall until you bleed profusely. Apply bandages.
Repeat twice a year.

Want to know what the kicker is? Offset printing requires approval, but if I wanted the stuff lazer printed or color copied at Bishara Xerox, I don't need any approval whatsoever.

Offset printing? Approvals needed. Same document, Xeroxed? No approval needed.

Aaargh...

Overheard in Muscat, adult edition

2009-10-13T14:03:00.003+04:00

At the Tyre Shop

Tire Guy: (Job Done, dusting his hands off) OK! We are all Penish?

Me:Ummm.. What?

Tire Guy: Penish! All Penish!! (Huge smile)

me: I'm sorry, we are Penis?...

Tyre Guy: (spreading arms wide, pointing to the truck) Yes!!! We are all Penissss!

Me: (Backing away slowly) No, I really don't think we are Penis.

Other Dude: Madam, he means Finshed. He is finished fixing your tyres. You can go now.

Me: (Sheepishly)Oh, right... How embarassing.

Early Morning: I'm in Bed, Stone is in the Bathroom

Stone: (coughing, gaging, hacking, spitting)

me: Are you ok?

Stone: Yeah, except I gagged myself while brushing my teeth.

Me: Again? Are you suffering from Bulemia?

Stone: No, but my gag reflex is crazy

Me: Dude, you are so lucky you are not gay, because you would be really bad at giving blow jobs!

Stone: Woman, what is wrong with you?? Seriously?

Seriously, I'm still not Saudi... ***

Old ROP Guy: (looking at my Iqamma) Oooh! Al Saudia! You is Saudi?

My PRO: La, look at her baba, does she look saudi to you?

Old ROP Guy: (looking at me, in blue jeans and a pit shirt) You are Saudi! Yes?

Me: Nope, I'm American.

My PRO: Here, see this is her passport, American!

Me: I like Shagging Infidels! And Drinking Whiskey! And running around stark naked!

----- (Baffled silence)------

My PRO: (whispering) What the fuck is wrong with you? I'm never bringing you here again!

ROP Guy: Hmmm... So, Not Saudi?

*** No trip anywhere that requires me to present my Iqamma is complete without some version of the above conversation. It is beginning to get old.

Feelin' Crazy

2009-10-11T13:30:00.001+04:00

To the tune of Simon and Garfunkel's "Feelin' Groovy"

Slow Down, The car horns blast

Ass-Clown drivers go way to fast

kick the neighbour kids down a hill of stones,

Don't own a gun cause I'm feelin' Craaazy.

Ba da Ba da Ba da Ba da... Feelin Craaaazy!

Around this time last year I was feelin' a little crazy. Not like G.W. Bush crazy, just a tiny bit crazy.

The kind of crazy that makes you want to kick your infant child down the stairs, run other people off the road in a fit of rage, or kill your self crazy. So really, just a little tiny eeensy weensie bit crazy.

Following a rather heated ~~Freak Out~~ discussion with Stone where he dutifully tried to persuede me that it's everyone else who is crazy, I convinced him that I maybe needed some professional help. Screaming at him in a restaurant full of people and throwing a plate at his head may or may not have helped to reinforce the point.

Seriously, I've never felt as out of control and frightened as I was feeling then. Because a Year ago, I couldn't stand living in the old neighbourhood for One. More. Fucking. Minute. I wasn't sure if I could stand living with my family for another minute. The barking dogs, the heat, being unemployed, attempting to mother an obnoxious toddler and an obnoxious teenager simultaneously, and the horrendous neighbours were totally doing my head in.

So I visited a psychatrist and cried my eyes out and begged for drugs or a giant rubber hammer or something, anything that would chill me out enough to prevent me from hurting myself or someone else. Tears, wailing, snot. In hindsight, I made kind of a scene.

And the highly trained Psychiatrist was like "I'm from Pakistan, and I know about life sucking. Your life is pretty good, so you should suck it up" All of that is completley true, but it wasn't quite what I had in mind as far as mental health advice went. He charged me 60 rials for 20 minutes of his time and sent me home with a package of anti angsiety pills and some really potent sleeping pills. He said to come back in three weeks.

Un helpfull psychiatric advice aside, the drugs were sort of good, and even better was standing up and telling my famiy that I really needed help. They listened, and were really supportive. Within a ouple of weeks, the angry girl inside me got a little quieter, a little more manageable. A few months later when the neighbours broke into our house (Twice!) instead of opening fire on the local elementary school, (or hunting down the little fuckers and ripping thier toenails out one at a time) I put my foot down, leaned on Stone, and we moved out of the neighbourhood the next week.

And it's like, a year later, and things are still pretty good. I could do without the racket from the construction next door, but I have only once marched over there in my bathrobe to scream at them, which I think is progress.

The new neighbourhood is like something out of a norman Rockwell painting.
I now have a job, which gives me things I enjoy doing, and also gives me things to bitch about that are relitavely minor, and which I am empowered change instead of wanting freak out and kill a neighbour over something major that I have little or no control over.
I only took the pills for a week or two, though I still use sleeping pills occasionally so I can sleep through the night. I never realised how much I need sleep in order to be a functioning, rational person.

I don't really know why I wrote this post, except to express some gratitude that I have a life where I can remove 90% if the stuff that is driving me crazy by taking sleeping pills for a week and making a single phone call to a moving company. If only everyone's problems could be resolved so easily.

What's up with the little kids begging?

2009-10-06T14:41:00.002+04:00

Twice this week I have been approached by little Omani Kids begging at the supermarket or Mac Donalds. They were between the ages of 7 and 10, and once there was an older kid who looked aout 12 with them. In the US or Europe, this would be reason for Child Protective Services to seize the kids and place them in care. In India and Bangladesh and a million other places, this is sadly commonplace, and part of an economy of exploited children. Here, this is just plain unusual... I don't even know if we have Child Protective Services here.

To say I feel conflicted at the sight of thier outstretched hands is an understatement. I sort of want to take them home and adopt them, feed them, and shower them with love and adoration, or at least give them a bath and something nutritious to eat. Can I just take them home with me? Is that ok? What's the deal?

Are they homeless street urchins or orphans upon whom I should take pity?
Are they part of a Begging family, and mom and dad are nearby begging too?
Are they part of an organised Begging cartel, masterminded by evil adults?
Are they Demonstrating commendable entreprenurial Zeal? and Should I help them set up a lemonaide stand?
Or what?

Your thoughts would be appreciated.

Long Beard, Short Temper

2009-08-05T15:45:00.002+04:00

To the guy in the Golden Brown BMW 5/7 series Ministry Plated Reg # 15/1265 or 5621 with a remarkably long beard.

You, who honked, flashed, and tailgated us because I was preventing you from using the emergency lane to bypass the traffic jam and cut in front of people who were queing patiently.

You who are so cowardly that when Stone leaned out the passenger window to take a picture of your fantastical, bearded, agressive, driving self you instintaneously ducked in to traffic and hid sheepishly behind a truck.

You, who get Ministry plates on your car, and make everyone else from the ministries look bad since like, if government employees enjoying government perks can't follow the rules why should anyone else?

You, are an Assclown.

The best thing about my beloved car, Bigfoot, is that he's extra-big, extra-wide, and extra-heavy. Since I bought him, I have succesfully blocked hundreds of more important than you type ass-clowns who feel that thier time is more valuable than mine, and everybody elses. It pleases me immensely.

Also, I'm back from a wonderful holiday, where we bought a house. More on that soon.

Re Blog: Rock Bottom

2009-07-12T21:55:00.003+04:00

Muscat Jet driver posted a summary of the usual scene at rock bottom club.

Go, and read it, and laugh at the hysterical picture of a real, genuine bouncer.

http://muscatjetdriver.blogspot.com/2009/07/rock-bottom-muscat.html

I laughed, and laughed, and laughed.

Overheard in Muscat, ROP Edition

2009-07-09T14:30:00.004+04:00

Ok then, how about KicksAss?
Rop Guy: So Renewal Iqaama?
Me: Yeah
ROP Guy: Smile! (takes picture) You want to change your last name?
Me: What?
ROP Guy: Do you want to change your name? (hands me my card, pointing to where my name is spelled out)
Me: Hmmm... How about HH Al Said?
ROP Guy: (laughing) Not that.

No, Really. I can even explain Baseball.

ROP Guy: You are Saudi!

Me: I'm American

ROP Guy: But really you are Saudi. (big smile)

Me: American. See? I have an American Passport.

ROP Guy: But, Why? (stamping my passport )

Me: I like Beer, and I like to drive.

ROP Guy: (Matter-of factly) Yes, That is good. Mabrook.

Getting your car inspected here is always interesting

ROP Guy: Nice car! V8?

Me: Yeah, I love it

ROP Guy: Where are you from?

Me: Mostly America

Rop Guy: I like Bacon!

Me: Good to know...?

I Love New Zealand

2009-07-04T15:29:00.002+04:00

In an effort to help passengers pay attention during the pre-flight Safety Breifing, Air New Zealand's Video features crew members wearing nothing but body paint.

Stone has suggested that it would be even better without the Body paint. Bless.